Good medicine

I was going to have a post about all the Super Bowl commercials, but really didn't have the time to get my anger juices flowing over them yet, maybe later in the week.

However if you missed the Office last night after the Super Bowl, you missed a treat. Here are the first 5 minutes of the episode in which Dwight sets up a fake fire to see if everyone knows what to do.



I really don't know what he wanted them to do; the doors were locked, the phone was disconnected. It does lead to some funny stuff. I love using the copier to break down a door, the overhead projector through the window,Kevin raiding the snack machine, and Oscar crawling in the drop ceiling.

Great lines: "Stanley, Barack is President. You are black Stanley." ~Michael
"The fire is shooting at us." ~Andy after Dwight lights some firecrackers.

Give NBC credit for this. The Office is a hilarious show, but its rating are just okay. They are trying to take the millions of people who were watching the Super Bowl and immediately show them how funny the show is. This episode started about 2 seconds after the post game. If you didn't have a chance to change the channel, you would quickly see a great scene that shows how funny The Office is. The great thing about the show is that you can just watch it, you don't have to know any back stories or anything. Just sit back and laugh

Ratings, ratings, ratings

So I've been watching a lot of The Wire lately, having recently purchased the entire series on DVD. It got me to thinking about how over the last 4-5 years, all good television is appearing on cable on channels like HBO, and network series are going down the hole. At first I thought it might have to do with the fact that HBO can show nudity and can swear, but it is much more than that. I think of Arrested Development and feel that it would still be on if it aired on basic cable or HBO. On the other side a show like Mad Men would have already been cancelled if it were on network television, even though it is the best drama on basic cable. The reason is obviously money, but more importantly is time.

Network tv relies on instant results with tv ratings, which directly relates to how much they can charge for commercials. If a show starts off the blocks slow, it is immedietely cancelled. I think of Arrested Development and to a lesser extent Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (I watched) and Pushing Daisies (never watched). Both shows were critically acclaimed and had viewers who loved the show, however they didn't have many viewers. Due to the high cost of those shows with their large casts and elaborate storylines, they needed immediete results. More recently I look at Heroes. Heroes is NBC highest rated scripted program (sadly Biggest Loser is their highest rated show) but there is always a question of it will be renewed. They look critically at the viewership of EVERY episode (Pushing Daisies and Studio 60 were cancelled half way through the season when they still had filmed episodes that never aired). If a show has a 2-3 episode funct, they will be cancelled. So theses shows on network tv don't have the luxury of time to develop a sound stoyline and characters like they do on cable. They have to get right into the action and show results. Many people complained that Season 2 of Heroes (and Lost) were too "slow." Season 3 for both shows were then deemed "too fast." No time given to just develop into something.

Now on the other side we have HBO which gets its money just by people having the network and watching it. They don't care if you watch the network at 3 in the morning or in primetime at 7 at night. They can have "weaker" episodes of a show because you are still there watching something on the network. HBO can still take chances on shows no one else will and can keep shows on the air longer, because they still have people watching the network, and the money coming in.

The same is somewhat true for basic cable. They do rely on commercial revenue (which is based on viewers) but they also get a good hunk of their money from cable deals when cable providers like Time Warner Cable pay them to have their channels provided through them. So basic cable channels need money from commercials but can still take risks because they still have revenue coming in. Also, most basic cable channels are owned by a parent company which owns a bunch of cable channels. So, if one does poorly, the others can pick up the slack.

Now, heres to the solution to save network television TV series. network tv should sell commercial space as a whole, not for a specific show and time. A business (Budweiser for example) goes to NBC and buys 10 commercial spots for primetime Monday through Friday. These 10 spots will air randomly throughout the week, they cannot specifiy that they air during Biggest Loser or Law and Order. This way NBC just brings in money, and it doesn't matter which program has the highest ratings. As long as they provide overall quality programming, businesses will buy spots on their networks. Businesses will still buy ads, knowing that some will air during Crusoe (or whatever s**t they play) and some will air during Biggest Loser. Obla dee obla dah.

Random Rantings

A few things I have noticed in the last few days that made me angry (the last one is just bad-ass)

• I have ranted in the past about this switch to digital tv from analog tv. First off, it is not difficult. If you do not have cable or satellite service that you pay for, you need to get a converter; I have no idea why so many people are confused. Second, why doesn't the government just give away the converters because so many people are complaining that they cannot afford a $50 converter. Now the government has passed a bill that the switch will not take place until June. This is just getting sad. I think they should just scrap the whole thing at this point. The affect of the switch is very minimal (if any positive effects) but the money and time cost is way high. P.S. why is the government wasting time on passing a bill about this when we are fighting a war, the economy is in the s**t, we just switched presidents, etc?
• Somehow Paul Blart was the #1 movie in America. If you saw this movie, go kill yourself because clearly there is no way you could ever positively contribute to society. There are plenty of better movies out there now during "Award Season," or even better yet stay home and read a book or contribute to society.
• This story here is just bad ass. I once survived on whiskey for two days, but I wasn't really trapped under my sofa.

Digital Conversion PSA - watch more funny videos

Is this real?

I stumbled across this video today. I have no comment, just watch it for yourself.



I honestly cannot believe this is real.

However, I am interested in their Hall of Shame at Fox in New York, I have a few suggestions for them.

Two Quick Rants

I know this week is quickly turning into a week of updates on this blog but today I have two:

• Paul Blart Mall Fart was the #1 movie in America last weekend. WTF? So you mean to tell me that off all the people who went out to see a movie last weekend, the majority of them thought "Hey, why don't we go see that horrible movie about that fat stereo-typical American who has a s**tty job as a mall security guard, and some how he gets locked in with some people trying to rob the place after hours, and he saves the day without the cops help. Oh yeah, there are also two toilet seasons." WTF? Why not go see an actual good movie, seeing that this is the time of the year that all those award-winning movies are out.
• Last night I hid awayand watched the season premiere of Lost (good) but there were 6 commercials breaks in the first 60 minutes of the show. There was literally about 35-40 minutes of actual show to watch. I guess since the economy is doing horrible and companies are not willing to pay very much for an ad spot, the networks will just sell more commercial spots and have less show.

Some notes

The other day I had this commercial about something being released on January 19th. The commercial was vague and did not say anything, hence horrible marketing and a waste of money.

On January 19th they had this follow up commercial:


What? That commercial literally makes no sense. So LeBron James is going to play in the NFL (I know it is a joke) and this should be a reason that I should go buy insurance? What? I have seen this 5 times and it still makes no sense. This whole marketing campaign is a waste of money, and I am sure LeBron James is not cheap.

There were two "incidents" (here and here) this weekend at screenings of the Notorious B.I.G. movie. If you need more proof that Obama becoming President really changes nothing, see this. It is utterly sad that s**t like this still happens in a "civilized" country like America. I went a=and saw 3 different movies this weekend, and nothing stupid happened at them (except for the obvious "popcorn trick")

Finally here is a little video showing that Forrest Gump and Benjamin Button are the same movie. It's funny because they really are the same thing; in one the guy is mentally handicapped and in the other he is physically handicapped.

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

Did the world just shake?

Since today is such a historical day with Barack Obama being sworn in as President, I thought I would have a few comments. This is not a political blog, it is a ranting blog, so my comments will fall in line with that.

• My dad took off today to watch coverage all day (psychopath), however he does have over 100 sick days accumulated and less than 5 years of work left, so he can do that I guess.
• I think this is a big day for what it stands for, the chance of better days for all. However, we need to understand that nothing will change if we do not get off our lazy a@@es and do something about it. Now that Obama is President, the economy isn't going to fix itself, everyone is not going to find a job around the corner, our enemies aren't going to stop hating us, global warming is not going to stop, and fossil fuels are going to turn unlimited. We still need to do stuff to make a difference. This is what I like about Obama, he realizes this and if every speech he gives he tells people this.
• Most people think it is all going to fix itself, seriously. I lost count of the number of people I have talked to in the last month who think everything is okay now, Obama is President. It doesn't change shit unless you want it to change something.
• I'm watching Headline News and they are having this correspendant answer phone calls and text messages about the important of today sent in by viewers. This guy should get an award for this. He is getting some absoltely asine comments, but he keeps responding: "Good point" "Yes, this is a great day." "I agree." He had a woman call in and say racism is behind us. Yes, she said that. Far from the truth. He also got a text message from a 13 year old that said although she is a Republican and didn't vote, she is behind Obama. I'm not even going to comment on that.
• This does not end racism. African American males still face 25% unemployment in this country (55% in Milwaukee), minorities are still 700% more likely to be born into poverty, their are still probably 75% of Americans who look down on minorities, and some unfortunetlely express their views in words and actions. One of the national news last night literally said, that "When Obama is sworn in, Martin Luther King's Dream will be fulfilled." Not even close. But I could go on this for pages.
• Many many callers on many news stations have been saying that now "we can put the last 8 years behind us." How, is Obama going to make a time machine. Thousands of people still died on Septemeber 11th, there are still thousands of troops in Iraq and Pakistan, over half the world still hates us, we still face 7% unemployment, we have still used tax dollars to bail out many industries, we are still running out of fossil fuels abroad, we have still fone great damage to the environment. Now, we cannot put the last 8 years behind us, they still happened.
  
• My final comment is that yes this is a great day. But, don't sit back and think that all will be saved now. We need to internalize what is happening and go out and be a soldier of change in our everyday lives.

This is a good speech: