There are heroes, and then there are HEROES

Kiefer Sutherland is my hero. He plays all American bada** Jack Bauer on 24 and when he is not working he plays Kiefer Sutherland, American drunk. He has been quoted as saying "I work hard, I play hard." And play hard he does. Recently there was this story about him being tossed from a bar on a Wednesday night. You don't really need to read any other stories about him getting drunk, all you need is to look at the following picture:

Classy. In case you need more here is another one, here, and here.

Thank you Jack Bauer for saving this country numerous times and thank you Kiefer Sutherland for making it okay to be a grown-a** man and getting ridiculously drunk, sit at a table with no pants on, and get tossed out of the bar. We salute you.

Learn how to act

Yesterday at the last minute I was called in to celebrity bartend at my not so local tavern for St. Patrick's Day. I only worked the short shift from 5-10, but I got a good jist of little people know about going out in public.

• Do not call it "St. Pat's Day," it is St. Patrick's Day a-hole.
• If you go to an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day, it will be busy. You don't have to keep saying, "man, it is busy here. I didn't think you guys would be busy."
• Don't just order "a green beer" for the sake of ordering a green beer. Order what beer you would normally drink. I lost count of the number of people who just ordered "a green beer" and didn't care what it was. I think as a joke you should order a keg of O'DOuls or another N/A beer and dye it green.
• Someone actually tried to order Bushmill's, I just walked away.
• There are correct and polite ways to order a drink, the bartender is not missing you on purpose. Do not waive money at them. The bartender isn't skipping you because he doesn't know if you have money, and then oh wait, now he sees the money, so now he will help you.
• Know one else cares how drunk you are: you should come in, drink and drink, and once you are drunk get up and leave. There were so many people (some already at 5 p.m.) who were screaming "I'm drunk!" - I don't care. There were people knocking over glasses and spilling, without a care of who would be cleaning it. There were drunks who thought because they were drunk, that they deserved to get served drinks before people less drunk.
  
• I made the comment to another bartender there, "Doesn't anyone just sit in their basement alone and drink anymore?"
• All in all, a good time. You can tell who has done this before and is a professional, and who is a first-timer.
  

Great Parenting

Last night I was a celebrity bartended at a old-neighborhood pub, filling in for someone who was sick. No worries. I enjoy bartending still every so often to escape the everyday nonsense of a real job that you go to everyday. You can go in and work, have a good time, and not really care or have any personal investment in the outcome. All was going well all night until around 10 PM (keep in mind this was a Thursday).......

I see the other bartender arguing with this guy who is accompanied by two females, both looking pretty young. After a few minutes the bartender and this patron convince the guy and the two females to leave. I go over and ask what happened. He said he went to ID the people and the guy had an ID that said he was 32 and one of the females had one saying she was 28, the other females was definetly under 21 and needed to leave (I guessed she was 14-18). The guy apparently git upset saying she was his daughter but could not prove it. Before the argument started he had ordered a beer and two shots and was trying to give them to the young girl. A few minutes after they left they older lady came back in and said she just wanted two quick shots and was leaving. I went to grab the bottle and then the guy came back in. I asked him where his "daughter" was and he said she was waiting outside. Why the hell would you have your daughter wait outside on 49th and North, not by any stretch of the imagination a good neighborhood. And, oh yeah, its 10pm on a school night. I told him he couldn't just leave his daughter outside, he had to go. He started arguing back that I couldn't kick him out. I said he can't bring in minors, and then leave them outside while he got loaded inside. A moment later the young girl came back in. WTF?? This whole situation is just shady. I repeated that he had to go, no big deal, you just gotta go. He then started calling the place a gay bar because I was kicking him and his young daughter out. I stood there calm and collected for neither 2 minutes just repeating, "You gotta go, you gotta go." He continued to mumble incoherently at me. He finally left because they older lady he was with was actually very nice and polite and convinced him "we should just all go home anyways."

Good god people!! Kids are our future. You wonder why the future looks so dark, we have idiots like this dragging youngsters to bars on school nights trying to get them drunk. There was a chance that this was not his daughter even, then its anyone's guess as to what was happening. Darwin was wrong if idiots and drunks like this can continue to procreate. Children should be home and asleep ready to learn the last day so they can become more successful than their idiot parents.