That's offensive

For those of you who do not regularly watch Colbert Nation, you missed a funny segment about how some people are offended by the smallest things. Canada has a magazine that was called "Beaver" but because some were offended by that name they decided to change it: (right after the waterboarding piece)

Tip/Wag - Waterboarding & Canada's History

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The funny thing is that Stephen Colbert wants people to make the term "Canada's history" as offensive as possible.

If you haven't already gone to Urban Dictionary to see it, check it out here. It's pretty hilarious and offensive. Number 3 is my favorite.

Also, Daily Show had a piece about the congressman with the name of Dick Sweat. Those jokes write themselves.

He's Back............

So it's been a while since I have blogged (33 days to be exact). It's not that I couldn't find a reason to be angry at the world. I lost the fire. With the semi-retirement of rival EdGrimley, there was nothing left in it for me. Then last week out of the blue, EdGrimley dusted off his keyboard and joined the game again. It's on................

So last Wednesday I had an all-day meeting at Central Office for the District. There were about 20 of us in this room for some kind of "professional development." It starts at 8:30 and then around 10:00 they give us a 10 minute break. I go walk around and stretch my legs and come back. When we are starting back up this lady comes waddling in with a large bag of popcorn (I have no idea where she found a popcorn vendor in an office building). She then proceeds to sit down and start stuffing her face with the popcorn. Not just eating the popcorn but grabbing handfuls of it and stuffing her face with it. (It's 10 am, not that that is ever appropriate) So I'm sitting here trying not to laugh at this situation and my coworker lady sitting next to me asks whats so funny and I say "Nothing, it just feels like a Saturday Night Live Skit in here." She then looks and sees what I was laughing about and looks at me and says "don't be a snob." What? So not stuffing your face with popcorn in a business meeting at 10 am is being a snob? Sorry.

It reminded me of the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode "Mac and Dennis Breakup." (video not available, damn Hulu changing there 5 episodes only rule) Mac tries to help Frank clean up his lifestyle by not cutting his nails with a knife, not using garbage to stop his bleeding, and not eating cat food. Frank thinks not eating cat food is just putting on airs.


More to come soon, he's back

Thank You

Every so often something amazing happens in today's culture, where all you can do is look up at god and say "thank you." The NBA provided this experience this week.

I am sure by now we have all read this story about Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton pulled guns on each other in the locker room over a gambling bet. This is a beautiful story. Multiple NBA players have a weapon in the locker room, they are arguing over gambling, and the league knew about Arenas having a gun (they were officially looking into it). Now Arenas is also saying that it was "bad judgement."

They NBA has marketing that has their tag line as "Where Amazing Happens." I think they need to add a screen: "Where players pull guns on each other..........."


But wait, there is another amazing story in the NBA. The NBA lets their highly educated fans vote for who will play in the all-star game. Let's take a quick look and see who has enough votes to start in the game if it started tomorrow. Wait, what's that Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson. Okay, I've heard of them, they're good right? Oh wait, its 2010 and Allen Iverson was cut by the Grizzlies and comes off the bench for Philly. Tracy McGrady was asked not to come back to the Rockets, they would rather pay him to not play than have him play. Awesome voting fans.

Watch These You Wh**e!

So its the end of the year and I'm not into all the self-reflecting bull-s**t stuff. I'm not into all those Top Ten lists, everyone's opinion is different, and most people's opinions are wrong anyway. I thought I would just take a moment and list the movies that were worth seeing this year, this isn't necessarily a top ten, since I didn't see a lot of those artsy-fartsy movies that everyone is always picking for their top ten.
In no particular order:

1) Hurt Locker- a great movie about the war, intense throughout, great acting by a bunch of nobodies and great cameo by Guy Pierce and Ralph Fiennes.

2) District 9- a really cool sci-fi movie with great action, a cool story, and also some social commentary about our current society.

3) The Road- exactly like the book, intense, interesting, with a lot to say about humanity. Great cameos by Robert Duvall, GUy Pierce, and Omar Little.

4) The Hangover- funniest movie in over a year. Period. Male nudity. Period.

5) Star Trek- a very well done remake. Has a lot of shout outs to the old movies, while still reinventing itself for a new generation. Interesting plot that wasn't dumbed down. The beginning of another great movie franchise.

6) Zombieland- a great escape movie about killing zombies, very humorous and entertaining. Classic.

7) The Cove- a great documentary about the slaughtering of dolphins of the coast of Japan for sport and food. Very difficult to watch but very interesting and very well done.

8) Precious- very powerful movie about the trials of a 16 year old mother from a broken home, a me vs the world type story. Powerful, not easy to watch at times.

Movies I haven't seen yet but heard are good: The Informant, The Talented Mr. Fox, 500 Days of Summer, and Inglorious Bastards.

Side note: I broke down and saw Up in the Air. I was under-whelmed with it. Clooney does a great job and the movie is entertaining for the first 90 minutes, but the last 20 minutes just derail. The ending is horrible. All the characters start to advance and change to be better people in the movie, then bam something happens and everyone ends up the same as in the beginning. The lesson the movie wants you to learn is that true love isn't real.

Videos B**ches!

Happy Festivus to all. In celebration here are some videos to peek your interests while the holiday season passes us by.


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I have always said that Alec Baldwin is a hero of mine, and to quote Derek Zoolander: "Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot."

Here are some more heroes of mine. I need to do this to someone sometime. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how much it costs, this is happening.

Hero Status

I thought today we would do a tribute to Jon Hamm and his Don Draper character on Mad Men, enjoy. To me I can't differentiate between Jon Hamm and Don Draper, they are both super cool, womanizers, who are actually hilarious if need be, basically my hero.

According to askmen.com Don Draper is the most influential man of 2009, ahead of 48 real people who aren't characters on TV, and ahead of Michael Jackson and Barack Obama.



Little known fact, but Jon Hamm is actually really funny and was nominated for an Emmy for his 3 episode guest on 30 Rock. He is also best friends with Zach Galifianakis. They would make a great comedy duo.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Sidenote: There are a wholoe series of those Between 2 Ferns, and they are all hilarious.

Bonus story: Cat in the wall, hey...............

Those crazy asians

By now we all know all about Tiger Woods, and his "incident" with his wife. (I'm still not sure why anyone would cheat on this). What you might not know about this story is that Japanese television did a news piece on it:



I can't understand a word they say, but the reenactment is awesome.

Bonus Video: If you didn't see the Colbert Report with Elvis Costello, check out the clip below. It's a regular interview, but cut to the 4:30, Stephen covers a Elvis Costello job and it is very well done. Great moment in television.

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