Fly-By Advertising

So on Thursday I came out of work and noticed that every car in the faculty parking lot had a business card under the wiper. I first assumed that it was for one of the get rich quick scheme type things. I read it and it was for a Religious group that had a website called Needencouragement.com

The card had a phone number to call (414-541-HELP) to call for a pre-recorded message of encouragement and to receive a free Bible. On the back were about a dozen other websites to go to if you feel lost or confused with life and need "help." Most of them have some reference to Christ or Billy Graham.

Are these types of things effective? Do people really take a business card from under the wiper and go the website or call the number and their life is changed? Two weeks I went to Office Max and a guy was walking around the parking lot putting one of the get rich quick schemes on a post-it note on all the cars. I sat in my car to see if he would still put it on my car with me in it, and sure as s**t he still did. Really, this is your job to put out probably close to 100,000 of these for every one person who calls you and falls for your scheme. Your parents must be so proud.

I needed a laugh

Thank you Pittsburgh for this story..........



That's just funny. That guy who lived there is hilarious. Leopard sheets, his accent, his attempt at the joke at the end. Too funny.

Quick college story involving 2 of my avid readers. One night we all decided to take a break from studying at the library and instead stay home and consume alcohol. Not really used to the effects of alcohol, some of us let things get away from us. Two of the guys ended up being done and passed out in their beds in their room. Three of us stayed up to continue to consume alcohol. Then at one point one of us had the idea to go into person A's room and carry them into person's B room. So we did that and threw person A on the floor of person B's room. A few minutes later we decided "wouldn't it be funny if we went in there and put person A in person B's bed. So we went in the room and noticed person A had went into the bed himself, assuming he was in his own room. Hilarity ensued and a few comments by the two "no, no, don't" Eventually person B figured it out, got up, and went into his room. A few dozen pictures later, we all had some good stories and blackmail material.

Oh, college................

The living dead.................

So I know the NBA is dead to me, but it might be getting close to moving to the "On Notice" list. The Milwaukee Bucks are playing extremely well. Over the weekend the played the Denver Nuggets and won. (I think Denver might be in 2nd in the West, I tried looking up the standings but the screen was blank because the NBA is dead to me.) Then last night they beat a very good Atlanta Hawks team (in 3rd I believe). I think they are 13-2 since the all star break, which is the best record in the NBA during that time.

The thing about it is that they have a balance team, they play basketball the way it should be played (like the Spurs of a few years ago). Play defense, pass the ball, have some energy, a few foreign players, shoot well, rebound. Hopefully this catches on and instead of teams overpaying Lebron or D'Wade, teams build a balanced squad and play basketball.

The only catch is that this will probably be a one hit wonder team. They have very little money left and probably won't be able to sign Salmons after the season. He is their leading scored and has been the difference in most of their wins. They have to trick another team into trading for Michael Redd. Redd can still shoot and score when he is healthy, hopefully some team that loses out on Lebron or D'Wade panics and is willing to trade for Redd. I am sure the Bucks will be willing to trade for a grilled cheese sandwich at this point. The Bucks also need to keep all the foreign players they have that are doing so well. It's nice to know that they have Jennings for a few years and Bogut just resigned, they can be the rock of the team for awhile.

Early St. Patrick's rants.................

I'm not going to rehash any of my past rants about St. Patrick's Day, but my god people. The Irish are bad, but that's a post of its own. This post is about the people who wish they were Irish (or are Irish by marriage not blood).

This past Saturday I got an early morning wake up call from McBob's asking if I could come in and help out for a bit for the parade that. Sure, why not...............

• The number of people who specifically ask for "a green beer" please. Really all you care is about the color? What if I put food coloring in piss, will you drink it? The bar had a keg of green Miller Lite for the idiots, but some people wanted Budweiser in green. The bar was then putting green food coloring in pitchers of Bud for those who wanted it. (Note- I refused every time that someone asked me to do this, come on people.) The food coloring made it almost black, not green.
• A woman (wearing green with an "Irish" crown thing on) came up to order shots. I asked her "what do you need" She replied "It's not going to be easy." Jokingly I said "Tullamore or Jameson, it should be pretty easy." She then proceeded to tell me how to make a shot which was a shot of tequila with a splash of grenadine and a splash of sprite. Awful any day, especially on St. Patrick's Day. You call yourself Irish?
• The bar also provided a complimentary potato bar (obviously) for the customers. I couldn't throw a dead cat in the place without some asking "is there any other complimentary food, or is this it?" Yes this it, and you are lucky to have that. We're talking about heated up potatoes and the fixins. This is the good life.
• I also received a few phone calls and requests for a reservation on Wednesday for St. Patrick's Day. A reservation? This is a bar people. This is their Christmas. Come on.
• For some reason the bar left the jukebox on instead of just playing Irish music and the s**t people were playing on this day. Alicia Keys, Kings of Leon, some death-metal, Stevie Wonder, Prince, Weezer. Come on people.

I can only wait for actually Wednesday. I tell you now. I am going to hide away and try to interact with as few Irish people as possible.

Long time reader, first time contributor

One of my many, many avid readers sent me a few links of notice yesterday so I am borrowing from rival blogger EdGrimley, here ya go.

A hipster pizza? Strong men can cry and have a slice too.

Proud to be an American, and live on a red dot.

People watch hockey? Still interesting.

Plans this weekend? Change them. Do this. (note this is my own contribution and not from a reader)



Their website is very very real.

Laughs

So today right after school I heard a bunch of commotion in the hall and stepped out of my room to see a circle of about 40 students with 2 kids in the middle fighting. Since all of security was outside getting students on buses, it took about 5minutes for them to get up to the 3rd floor. A police officer came up and busted through the wall of students, slammed one kid to the ground and then tossed the other kid about 10 feet with one hand, and then put both in cuffs. Good times.

I need a laugh, Internets save me..............



Funny originally, really cool done live with the Roots. The Roots should do an entire live show with Andy Sanberg and Lonely Island.0


Funny clip from Jimmy Kimmel (that's 2 in a week); long but worth it. (That's what I told your wife too).

A good collection of It's ALways Sunny animated gifs.

Comedy Clips

Community is a show on Thursday nights. In the lineup of Parks & Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock, it may be the weak link, but still is funny. The funniest part of the show is the ending after the credits. It usually has nothing to do with the episode and usually features the 2 funniest characters on the show, Abed and Troy. Take a look:



















The show itself is not as funny as these 30 second clips, primarily because these two are the funniest characters but they are not in the show as often as Joel McHale's character who is kind of a douche bag with a heart.