Comedy cures all

Quote me on this Ricky Gervais is funny. I always knew this, hopefully you did too. The Office, check. Extras, check. This interview on Daily Show, check.

Ricky Gervais

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Vancouverage 2010

I have since downloaded a bunch of his podcasts (all free), that shit is bananas. Wish I had HBO for his new show.

Bonus comedy day:

Another reason to hate the British

So on Monday nights a few of my nerdy friends and myself go to an area bar and play a trivia game (break into groups and a guy asks a series of questions in categories such as Geography, Movies, History, etc). There are usually around 15-18 teams there. We consistently finsih around 4th place. Once tied for second and have never finished below 6th. Not too bad. The guy who hosts the events is British and a couple douche bag. He thinks he is the greatest thing ever and his questions are horrible and every so often he has the wrong answer. Here are some examples:

• Once asked "What is the most common language the Guiness Book of Records is printed in?" We put Mandarin. He said the answer was Chinese. Myself and a team went up to him after and explained that Chinese isn't a language, its a culture. It would be like saying American is a language or Mexican is a language. We lost the argument.
• He once asked what is the one country with 'ee' in it. We said Greenland and Greece. He said that it was only Greece and Greenland isn't a country but is a province of Denmark. However a search on the Encyclopedia Brittanica says that it is a province of Denmark but is also considered a country.
• He once asked, "what is the largest city east of the Mississippi River without an NFL team affiliated with it. We asked "does it count if they play in the city, or just if they are affiliated with it?" He said, it is just affiliated with it, and The Patriots count for Boston." We put Newark, New Jersey. He said the answer was Richmond, Virginia. Long story short Newark has more people in the city and the county or Richmond, so I don't know where he got his facts. We argued it and he said that Newark is conisidered part of New York. WTF? He didn't argue that the Jets were technically considered from Newark, he argued that the city of Newark was technically the city of New York.
• Also, the game is advertised to start at 8, but has never started before 8:20. He takes 20 minutes to set up his I-book to play music does about 5 minutes of "testing, testing" on the microphone and then talks to some of the tools there that worship him.
  

Basically he is an idiot.
Each week first and second place get a $25 and $10 bar tab. A few weeks back he started a bar tab for best team name. We then decided to be creative with our names to try to win and then we switched strategies and just made fun of him with our names. Take a look:

• "What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?" (got a lot of confused looks)
  
• "You don't fuck a sandwich before you eat it?" (lots of laughs and groans and then hisses)
• "My wife isn't the only one getting 3 inches tonight." (this was the night before we were predicted to get 3 inches of snow, and was also a burn on him having a tiny dick.)
• "Just to clarify from last week, I have a tiny dick." (also funny because he stands up there and reads them)
• "I thought I signed up for the 8 o'clock league" (funny because he never starts on time)
• "Need better trivia questions, there's an app for that." (funny because he sucks at writing questions and he has an i-phone that he uses every week)
  

You don't know jack.......

Think you know geography and sports? Try this game at ESPN. I tried it once and got 45,000 points, gonna try again here in a second.

I couldn't wait

Some of you may watch Tosh.O (if you don't, you are missing out). Last night he played a preview of the Web Redemption he was going to air next week. I went and watched the original video, and it is too good to wait until next week. Watch this and be sure to watch from 50 seconds - 1:10. Priceless



The funniest thing is that if you go to its Youtube page, they have disabled the comments section. I can only imagine why.

Something Different

Many of you may not listen to music that the kids are calling "rap." However, a rap "artist" called Lil' Wayne has come out with a new album in which he is trying something different, for better or for worse. He is mixing his usual raps using autotune and puts them over rock music. The results are interesting. I kind of like this, its not the greatest thing ever, but he may be onto something.

Funny jokes never die

Some jokes will always be funny, and once such joke is "that's what she said." (another one would be jokes about EdGrimley's mom). Here is a compilation of The Office and all the "that's what she said jokes."



True Story: I was teaching one day and the students were working on a quiz and one kid just wasn't working. I went up to him and said "Kerry, get to work, you can do this." He then said "It's not hard, its just long." Another student almost immediately said "that's what she said." I could barely hold in my laughter.

Is it racist?

Those of you who watch Tosh.0 know that he has a segment called "Is it racist" where he plays a clip and we decide if it is racist or not. Here I am going to introduce my own version of "Is it racist" but with words, not pictures.

I was clicking around the Internet on a boring Sunday morning and ended up reading this story about the future of the NBA. Most notably it focused on this off season and where James, Bosh, and Wade would end up. Take a look at this entry:

"For an NBA fan, there's nothing better than putting together imaginary scenarios involving your favorite superstars. Barbershops across the country should be turning over a quarter of their profits to the NBA for the time their patrons spend arguing about trade situations that, of course, will never happen."

I'm just picturing the average white reader imaging that the Ice Cube movie Barbershop is stereotypical of all barbershops across the country. I go to get my hair did all the time and have never engaged in a conversation with anyone about the NBA. Maybe about the weather or my plans for the remainder of the day, but thats about it.

Sometimes reality is funnier

If you have seen 30 Rock on NBC Thursday nights, you are familiar with Tracy Morgan's character, Tracy Jordan. One of the ongoing jokes on the show is the various horrible movies Tracy Jordan makes on the side of his main gig as the star of TGS. Here is a brief list of some of those movies:

• Who Dat Ninja?
• Black Caveman
• Black Cop/ White Cop
  
• Honkey Grandma Be Trippin
• President Homeboy
• Fat Bitch (She's off the lease)
• Samurai, I Amurai
• Death Bank
• A Blaffair to Remember
• Cruise Boat- I'm getting to old for this ship
• Rapping Grandma

Now comes this new, REAL, movie from Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, I stress that this movie is REAL:


Horrible, horrible, horrible. I think it would have been better if they just really made his fake Black Cop/ White Cop movie. In fact I think my first choice would have been Honkey Grandma Be Trippin.

That's offensive

For those of you who do not regularly watch Colbert Nation, you missed a funny segment about how some people are offended by the smallest things. Canada has a magazine that was called "Beaver" but because some were offended by that name they decided to change it: (right after the waterboarding piece)

Tip/Wag - Waterboarding & Canada's History

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Economy

The funny thing is that Stephen Colbert wants people to make the term "Canada's history" as offensive as possible.

If you haven't already gone to Urban Dictionary to see it, check it out here. It's pretty hilarious and offensive. Number 3 is my favorite.

Also, Daily Show had a piece about the congressman with the name of Dick Sweat. Those jokes write themselves.

He's Back............

So it's been a while since I have blogged (33 days to be exact). It's not that I couldn't find a reason to be angry at the world. I lost the fire. With the semi-retirement of rival EdGrimley, there was nothing left in it for me. Then last week out of the blue, EdGrimley dusted off his keyboard and joined the game again. It's on................

So last Wednesday I had an all-day meeting at Central Office for the District. There were about 20 of us in this room for some kind of "professional development." It starts at 8:30 and then around 10:00 they give us a 10 minute break. I go walk around and stretch my legs and come back. When we are starting back up this lady comes waddling in with a large bag of popcorn (I have no idea where she found a popcorn vendor in an office building). She then proceeds to sit down and start stuffing her face with the popcorn. Not just eating the popcorn but grabbing handfuls of it and stuffing her face with it. (It's 10 am, not that that is ever appropriate) So I'm sitting here trying not to laugh at this situation and my coworker lady sitting next to me asks whats so funny and I say "Nothing, it just feels like a Saturday Night Live Skit in here." She then looks and sees what I was laughing about and looks at me and says "don't be a snob." What? So not stuffing your face with popcorn in a business meeting at 10 am is being a snob? Sorry.

It reminded me of the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode "Mac and Dennis Breakup." (video not available, damn Hulu changing there 5 episodes only rule) Mac tries to help Frank clean up his lifestyle by not cutting his nails with a knife, not using garbage to stop his bleeding, and not eating cat food. Frank thinks not eating cat food is just putting on airs.


More to come soon, he's back