Quick Note

I just turned on the Packers game and saw that Jennings, Driver, Lee, Kampman, and Woodson are all inactive. Lame. I know you don't want to get hurt, and all those players have been a little injured this year, but I worry about them having 2 whole weeks off now until they play again. This may backfire. Plus, this is going to be a boring game for us fans to watch. And do you really want to lose 2 divisional games in a row going into the playoffs? And if injuries are the concern, why is Favre playing? I think Rodgers is out too, let's see KGB back there as QB, why not if this game is "meaningless?" Except of course to see Lions fans see there team finish under .500 yet again.

Sports Writers

Yesterday in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel had an article praising the glories of Packers' GM Ted Thompson's 2007 draft. Don't get me wrong, Ted Thompson may not be as big of a joke as I once thought (I once called him the "Ned Yost of Footbal GMs"), but I think the jury is still out. Let's see how the Packers finish the year and what he does in the off season (maybe actually sign a free agent??) But I will not say that he had a good draft last year.

Let's take a quick look: (Thompson's grades himself here.)

Round 1: Justin Harrell- bust, has barely played, only active for 4 games. Luckily our defensive line already has 4 starters and a 3rd down back, so we don't need him. Currently listed as our 3rd left defensive tackle behind Ryan Pickett and Corey Williams.

Round 2: Brandon Jackson- bust, currently listed as our #3 back.

Round 3: James Jones- great pick, one of the better rookie wideouts in the league. He's our #3 receiver, but would be many teams #2.

Aaron Rouse- another really good pick, filled in nicely when Nick Collins was out, hopefully a starter next year. Now if he could replace Bigby at the other safety position (Bigby is worst safety in league).

Round 4: Allen Barbre- never heard of him. Filled in on a few snaps at guard. Useless.

Round 6: Korey Hall- good pick. Is basically our starting fullback, but its a fullback position, nothing special. He block well, has few rushing yards, few catches. Is replaceable, but serviceable (like my ex-wife).

Desmond Bishop- a special teams player, nothing special. Gone in a year.

Mason Crosby- Really good pick. 2nd in league in points this year. Quite acurate, hit game winner in first game he played. Hopefully we keep him, but will never replace Longwell. (Why did we let him and Sharper go to Minnesota?)

Round 7: DeShawn Wynn- Useless, currently our #4 running back, in a league when you have 3 listed running backs. Already injury-prone. Can anyone say practice squad.

Overall, an ok draft, maybe B-/C+. We wasted our 1st and 2nd round picks. Had a really good 3rd round, and got Crosby late, otherwise everyone else is replaceable.

Best of 2007...

I think I have my anger under control today and will take this calm to point out my list of best of 2007......

Books: You all know I can't read.

Movies: (In no particular order) Gone Baby Gone, No Country For Old Men, Superbad, Lars and the Real Girl, Juno, Bourne Ultimatum, Once

TV: (Due to the writer's strike this is abrupt) The Office, Heroes

Reality TV: They all suck, you are dumber for watching.

Music: White Stripes-Icky Thump, Band of Horses- Cease to Begin, Kanye West- Graduation, Arcade Fire- Neon Bible, Klaxons- Myths of the Near Future, Shout Out Louds- Our Ill Wills

Celebrity Scandal- Jamie Lynn Spear's pregnancy (now there is a report that the real father is a producer on her show, and they are paying this kid to say he is the father to cover it up and avoid statutory rape charges. Fantastic!)

Celebrity Cover-Up: Jessica Alba saying her fiance Cash Warren is the father of her child, and not me.

Biggest Sports Surprise: Ned Yost somehow NOT being fired. (Close second- Packers winning NFC North)

Cowards

Unfortunetly anger cannot take a day off. Even on Christmas I see and read things that get me angry. Yesterday in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel I read an article originally from the New York TImes about a trend called "Shopdropping."

In this people ("hippies") put merchandise and propaganda into stores and merchandise instead of taking things from the store. They put propaganda fliers in books, anti consumer groups put replica merchandise on shelves, small musical artists and authors put there products on the shelves. (I always wondered why that Tickle Me Elmo I bought a few years back started screaming for help every time someone tickled it instead of laughing like it was suppossed to.)

I don't know why, but I am finding this practice to be bizarre. Seems very cowardly way of going about things. Didn't anyone ever hear of facing your enemy straight on? How about some "Fight Club" tactics? Hippies!

This is yet another reason the terrorists are winning and sales are down at all store across the nation. People think they might be buying some hippy-created propaganda.

Here's to another anger-filled holiday. Wouldn't have it any other way.

On Notice.. (Update)

I am creating this blog to draw attention to the newest member of my On Notice list....Mother Nature. On Saturday it was 45 degrees, a beautiful day for mid-December. At night it started to rain, but at least it wasn't cold. Then 6 hours later when I awoke on Sunday it was down to 15 degrees. It fell 30 degrees in 6-10 hours! Since it had been raining all night and now was freezing, there was a nice lick layer of ice everywhere on Sunday morning, including my car. All my doors were iced-frozen shut and I could not open any of them. I had to open my trunk and climb into my car, a task may extra difficult due to the "contents" of my trunk (wink wink). Mother Nature was also to blame for the horrific Packers' game and thus many northern-Wisconsin housewives feeling the wrath of their drunken-husbands. The Packers losing is one thing, but that was just a horrific game to watch. Shame on you Mother Nature, you are officially on notice.

(UPDATE)
It turns out that the ice actually broke my driver's side door handle. I can now unlock the door but when I lift the handle nothing happens, the ice broke it by dislodging it from something inside the door. So now I cannot enter my car from the driver's side, real classy. That's already 2 strike Mother Nature, one more and you are dead to me.

Happy Festivus!

More Parenting Advice...

We have all already heard the news that Britney Spear's younger sister, Jamie Lynn (now that's a white trash name if I ever heard of one), is 12 weeks pregnant, oh yeah and she s only 16. Whore! This story is funny on many levels.

• First their mother had written a book on parenting that was going to be released in like 2 weeks. That book has not been put on hold indefinetly. I guess no one wants to read a book on how to raise your daughter to become crazy, head-shaving, drug addicted, whores.
• Secondly, Jamie Lynn is on some Nickelodean show that a lot of kids watch. I guess they will have to work her pregnant character into the story line (the 'Friends' method), or maybe kill off her character (the 'Lost' method).
• Lastly, this is hilarious because of article like this. Housewifes all over the country are worried about their daughters reaction to this situation. What will I tell my daughter about a 16 year old becoming pregnant. That CNN article has a lot of fake ways to approach the issue, I suggest the following dialogue:

Daughter: "Mommy, mommy! Jamie Lynn is pregnant. I'm confused, she's only 16 and not married. I thought you said babies come from two people when they really love each other and are married, then God gives them a baby."

Mom: "Well little Michelle, sometimes when a 16 year-old girl is really insecure and has low self-esteem she will do anything for attention. She will lie down and spread her legs for any douche bag in town. This guy is usually willing to bang anyone, especially if she is famous or really insecure, he may even tell her that he loves her just to bang her. After railing her he will usually leave her and want nothing to do with her or the baby. And that dear is where babies really come from."

Daughter: "Oh that makes sense. I can't wait until prom this year, maybe I can be like Jamie Lynn and get pregnant too. That would be so cool."

That's the holidays.....

I was just at Target finishing up the holiday shopping, at least the stuff I couldn't get at the $1 store. I was walking in the candy aisle and there was this nice younger girl on her cell phone seemingly talking to her boyfriend. HEre's their conversastion: "Honey I found the perfect gift for you, its great so don't go buy anything for yourself. (Pause while she listens) I'll be back soon, I;m almost done, just don't go to the liquor store please."

Hilarious, "don't go to the liquor store." Now that's the holidays. I have yet to have a good holiday without going to the liquor store, what gives. I give this relationship about 2 more months.

Terrorists......

I am not one of those "Blame America First" people but apparently there are many of them out there this time of year. Every year around now you hear all this hype about how retailers and businesses need a strong shopping season to help boost America out of their recession, and every year sales are well below expectations. Well here this year we are seeing the same story. I am tired of the same old thing every year. If I don't spend that much money around the holidays, it doesn't mean that I think the terrorists are winning and that I am afraid of spending my money, it's just that I am a sad and lonely man who legally can have no contact with my kids. I send money to my ex-wife every month. It's not my fault that instead of her spending that money on our kids she spends it on her drug addiction and for her going to get her online degree in general studies so she can continue to do nothing with her life.

Great Parenting

There may be a certain judge out there who says I am in adequate to be a father and can not be within 500 feet of my children, but over the weekend I ran into at least dads that need more parenting assistance than I do.

I went to my local tavern on Friday night to grab some food and then sit around and wash away my emotional troubles of the week with a few beers. I get to the tavern around 8 and there is a guy sitting at the bar with his 5-6 year old kid. If you want to take your kid out to get some food at a tavern, sit at one of the tables, not at the bar. This Dad of the Year candidate proceeds to stay at the bar until 1:30. The kid is literally asleep at the bar from 11 PM on until they leave.

Then on Saturday I went to go see I am Legend (Two Thumbs Up) and some guy brouight his 1-2 year old to the movie. The movie is PG-13 and is pretty intense and has a fair amount of violence in it. So of course this kid is crying and making all kinds of noice, until about haf way through the movie the guyy finally leaves. Isn't there a more appropriate movie you could take your kid to?

Hasn't anyone ever heard of a baby-sitter in this day and age so you can go to the bar or a movie without your kid?

Fun With Commercials

It's always sad to see once famous people take incredible falls in life. You may recognize the voices from the following commercial as Steve Buscemi and Norm McDonald. Both once famous, now playing the voices of gingerbread on a commercial that will air for less than a month. Steve Buscemi was the best part in earlier Coen Brother's movies, and Norm McDonald was the funniest person to do Weekend Update on SNL.

Nice Advice dude......

I decided to lie around tonight and just wash TV instead of my usual scourging the streets for a new wife. Then I remembered that the writers were still on strike and there was nothing on TV. I decided to watch Deal or No Deal to see what all the hype was about. First off, the show is terrible. Nothing happens, someone picks a case and then are offered money depending on the odds of it being more or less in the case. Tonight they had the cast of The Office on to help the contestants make their decisions. Here's a tip: Don't take financial advice from people who make more in one day than you make in a year. They were telling this guy to turn down $80,000 because "that's not a lot of money, take a chance." Hey Einstein, the average one person salary in America is $30,000. Not everyone gets paid $100,000 an episode to speak some lines that someone else wrote into a camera. It turns out that this idiot followed these millionaires advice and ended up winning only $20,000.

He did it again......

Ladies and gentlemen your blogfather here has done it again. He has gotten another girl pregnant and then broken it off with to raise the baby alone. Reports say that Jessica Alba is now with child. Sure the reports say that the father is her boyfriend's (Cash Warren, made up name), but really it is mine. Sure she will say that she has never met me, or even heard of me, again lies. No one can resist this.

Snow Day!

Hope all you bloggers had fun at work! (except all those bums who read this blog) Your blog-father here had a snow day and did not have to go to work, eat it.

Go back to announcer school...

I was lying around not hungover watching some football today and found the announcers of the Packers game to be terrible. It was Rich Gannon and some other idiot. First, they kept referring to Rich Gannon as former-MVP. He had 2 good years on a very good Raiders team that choked in the Super Bowl, otherwise before that he was passed around the league like my first wife backstage at a John Mayer concert. Secondly they kept referring to players by what team they used to play for. For example: "former Dolphin Donald Lee. Former New York Jet Lamont Jordan." Donald Lee has been on the Packers for 3 years, and has a whopping 20 catches during his career with the Dolphins. I really don't care about what team these players played for 4 years ago, just commentate the game. They also kept referring to the "cadence of the Favre's snap count." How many drunk football fans understand what cadence means, especially while they are beating their wife? Lets use simple words like the randomness of Favre's snap count.

Remember this name

Remember the name Michael Cera in a few years, he will be known as one of the funniest comedic actors around. He is most know as his role as high schooler George Michael Bluth on the much under appreciated Arrested Development. He played this dorky high schooler that was awkward in most social situations. It now turns out that is the best role for him to play. Anyone who has seen Superbad will tell you that he is hilarious, and he plays the same dorky role. He is now in the movie Juno (compared to Little Miss Sunshine) and again he plays a dorky kid, who gets a girl pregnant and hijinks ensue (I can relate to that).

I found this clip that is if Michael Cera was in Knocked Up. I think this is funnier than the actual movie.



This is a clip of a motivational clip by Michael Cera, hilarious.



He also made a online show which is a mocumentary of his life while on Arrested Development. A preview is below, but the real episodes are hilarious.

Fun with Commercials...

Introducing the second installment of Fun with Commercials. Today we are featuring a commercial that reminds me of the days when Snow.man would stay up all hours of the night playing video games. He would really get into those games and would end up punching holes in the wall, screaming and yelling, and throwing people out of the window.




If this video game system were real and that interactive, I couldn't wait to play the game where I get to stand outside of my ex-wifes house and wait for her new husband to go to work........

What year is it......

I was killing time this evening reading celebrity blogs and what not. Besides Kiefer Sutherland being sentenced to 48 days in jail, which I'm not worried about because Jack Bauer escaped a federal prison in 50 minutes in Season 3. I read that a man is suing Lindsay Lohan from when she hit him in her car, way back in 2005. We are 24 days away from 2008, and someone is first suing someone for what happened in 2005? He claims he can now prove she was drunk when she hit him. What ever lab he sent her blood work to must really suck. I'm no legal guy or anything but I'm pretty sure it should take less than 2+ years to be able to prove that someone was drunk when they hit you. I think they have these field sobriety tests or something. The only experience I have with law and court rooms is sitting in on my 4 divorce hearings.

I should have went to Wal*Mart

I am a big fan of Target (soft G) as half of my wardrobe will attest to. They ahve a large selction of everything. You can get toothpaste and car batteries at the same store. They have good prices, the stores are clean, friendly staff, has many locations, and I met my first wife there (that might be a negative actually). Wal*Mart is the root of all that is evil in today's corporate world. Yet tonight I should have gone to Wal*Mart tonight.

I ran to Target to accomplish two goals, get a red pen and Superbad movie to watch while I cried myself to sleep tonight. I get to the store and go to the pen aisle to find no red pens. I ask a friendly customer service rep who informs me that they do not carry red pens. WTF? Why in god's name would you not carry pens in the color red. They had black, blue, green, purple, but no red. Lame. I then went to the electronics section and found that they were out of Superbad on all 6 shelves. The movie is funny but its not the greatest movie since Star Wars original or anything. Whatever. I just get a movie because they actually have like 25 on sale for $4.99, tahts cheaper than renting one. I go to check out and there are 3 lines open. Its holiday shopping season people, come on. I know its lightly snowing in Wisconsin and people freak out, but you can still staff your store correctly.

Wave of my finger Target. Get it together I will be back on Saturday.

Pyramid Scheme??

I was lying around today trying to watch some American Football and saw a commercial that really made me wonder if people are actually dumber than I think. The commercial was for a company called Time Share Only. Do people still really fall for these time share schemes nowadays? I though everyone had learned their lesson and no longer fell for these traps. Seriously people get half a brain. You should do what I do when I vacation to Florida and need a place to stay. Break into some old people's home and tie them up in the closet the week I am there and enjoy there house. It's just a good as a time share except that it's free, and fun.

Somebody watched Tommy Boy....

I'm sure we have all read about the hostage situation at Hilary Clinton's campaign headquarters yesterday. It turns out the man behind it may have seen Tommy Boy one too many times and turned it into reality: "The package was not dynamite, but rather road flares duct-taped to Eisenburg’s body." I wonder if I watched that movie this afternoon if I am a Blame-America-First person, or just taking a stand against the Clinton campaign. What do I care, it's a hilarious movie.

Save Me Jeebus.......

I was trying to relax last night when I saw a commercial for Hummers (the car) and a group called HOPE (Hummer Owners Prepared for Emergencies). So when an emergency comes they yuppy uber-rich suburbanites come into these areas and help out? Yeah, I bet. Those a*@-holes are only good for taking up four parking spots, getting 7 miles per gallon and helping get Al Gore angry by destroying the environment. I don't recall seeing any Hummer drivers in New Orleans, out in California fighting the fires, or in Minnesota when the bridge collapsed. This is jsut a despearate attempt to try to convince the rest of America that they are not yuppy, East-Coast, liberal, Blame America First, a@*-holes.

Angry Thoughts....

I was going to wait until halftime of the game to post my first half thoughts, but in fear that the game is going to get ugly here I am posting with 10 mins left in 2nd quarter.

• The forward progress rule is lame. If I guy goes backwards with the ball and is tackled, he should be spotted there. Harris stole that ball from Owens, I don't care about that forward progress.
• Ryan Grant can straight run the ball. We should use him more.
• That was a nice ballsy call to try that on-sides kick, and it should have worked.
• Romo has so much time in the pocket he could write a love letter to whatever supermodel he is dating.
• That Bush guy is no Woodson.
• The Packers have not completed a pass more than 15+ yards, yet they have attempted 9 times. (Try dink and dunk passes).
• edGrimley's father is halfway right with 4 interceptions, Favre already has 2.
  
• I hope this loss doesn't affect the Packers down the road. They can still finish 14-2 or 13-3 and have a by.

Update: Aaron Rodgers is in the game. Rodgers who??


Post Game Thoughts (Update)

• The Packers actually made it into a game.
• Agreeing with edGrimley, the NFL Network is terrible with games. The announcers are terrible, the sound was too quick, the camera angles sucked, terrible.
• In a game of that magnitude how could the Packers and the refs let it be decided by penalties. The Cowboys had 70 yards, the Packers had 180 penalty yards. (On fewer penalties).
• When 2 refs disagree on a call, it should automatically turn to Instant Replay. Two refs disagreed on the two biggest plays, both affecting the outcome of the game. Al Harris stripping TO of thew ball on the first drive and Trevon Williams' phantom pass interference on Dallas' last drive.
• That was a terrible decision by McCarthy to kick that field goal at the end on 4th and inches. There are many reasons why that is.
• The future looks ok with Rodgers actually. He seemed calm, confident, and under control. Our biggest strength in our receivers, we must keep them at any cost.
• McCarthy may actually be a very good halftime motivator. The Packers seem to do better in the 2nd Half.
• The saying of the day was by Bryant Gumbel at the very end of the game when Trevon Williams was returning the kickoff after Dallas' last field goal and was leveled at the 18. "Trevon Williams just got baptized at the 18."

Fun with Commercials...

Rival Blogger, edGrimley, has his weekly Fun With the Internets piece, so we here are introducing a new piece, Fun with Commercials. We will feature weekly commercials that either make us laugh or really, really angry because they are so stupid. (probably mostly the latter) Since we are restricted by what is on You Tube we may be limited.

Without further adieu......

Who were the ad wizards who came up with this one...

So I'm just lying around watching some good old fashioned American Football. Now that my wife can no longer stop me from watching it, it is one of the few happiness's I have left. I saw a new commercial for Subway that was just ridiculous and made no sense. Subway has never had very good commercials, in fact their best commercial was probably the fake commercial in Happy Gilmore.

This new commercial has Golden Boy Brady Quinn on top of this float in a football stadium parking lot throwing subs at people tailgating. Everyone is really excited and hollering at Brady Quinn and eating the subs. Then a voice over comes on saying that Brady Quinn will be at football games all over the country every Sunday throwing you a Subway Sub. Brady Quinn then look at the camera and says, "Every Sunday? I'm kind of busy." Then jumps off the float, puts his helmet on and runs into the stadium.

This commercial is stupid on a few fronts. First, why did they select Brady Quinn? Was Aaron Rodger and Alex Smith busy? Second, who would eat a cold sub over a hot burger or brat off the grill? Thirdly, why does Brady Quinn say he is busy every Sunday? He's the third quarterback on Cleveland. The odds of him ever taking a snap for the Browns is about 2%.

Subway needs to stop allowing Jared write their commercial for them, they're terrible.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wishing everyone a good holiday breaking all those restraining orders and watching your ex-wife eat Thanksgiving dinner with her new family. She'll come back to you some day.

Here's some good advice I found on the Internet.

So long Pudge....

I was never a huge fan but the Brewers traded Pudge Estrada to the Mets for Guillermo Mota. Estrada was useless as a catcher, he threw out 3 steal attempts all year, and all three of those runners fell while trying to steal. He also was worse than Jenkins at times at the plate. The only positive thing he did all year was having the balls to challenge Yost and yell and almost punch him in the dugout.

I just wonder if this is the best trade for the team. This guy Moto is pretty shady. He was suspended for steroids last year and when he returned he was booed by his fans (I know its New York and they boo everyone). I fear we are filling our bullpen with more and more pitchers like Turnblow and Wise, pitchers who were good a couple years ago and we keep hoping will return to form.

Now the Brewers are hoping to sign old-bones Jason Kendall. I know he used to be a BRewer killer on the Pirates, but I don't think he is an improvement at catcher. He threw out the second fewest runners last year after Estrada, and he didn't bat much better either. With Hart batting #5 hopefully I guess their plan is to hide the catcher's bat at #8.

If they can resign Cordero and sign a good batting left fielder I'll by into all this, otherwise its a little suspect.

Enough Said

This story speaks for itself.....


I'm just saying that the Feds may want to question me, I know a couple of guys.

Don't pass out at my house son....

Can I get a recount?

Yesterday they announced Bob Melvin of the Arizona Diamondbacks won NL Manager of the Year. What? No Ned Yost? Someone must have miscounted the votes, that or there was a problem of hanging chad. How could he not win after what he did with that team. He has the 2 best young players in the league but he had the courage to rest them once a week and take them out of close games. He had the knowldge to know to keep his starting pitchers in too long and put in bullpen pitchers that couldn't hit the blind side of a barn.

On a related note I think an inanimate carbon rod won AL Manager of the Year seeing that anyone could manage in the NL, maybe even Yost.

Can't we all get along?

I bet you were thinking this post was going to be about world peace or something. Sorry to disappoint all these hippies out there. But....

Ever since that judge decided I was unfit to even see my daughters (he still thinks they deserve my money though) I have been spending more time distracting my brain with mindless television. Well no more. It looks as if this writer's strike is in it for the long hall. Most shows have 3-5 episodes left already filmed and they will have to go into reruns, or god-forbid start airing more reality TV.

Colbert Report, Daily Show, The Tonight Show, and The Late Show have not had a new episode since the strike. Can't these hosts write their own jokes and interview questions? I guess not.

This week is going to be the last episode of The Office because Steve Carrell (not in the writer's guild) refuses to cross the picket line to film new episodes. I was watching Heroes last night and they actually said that the season finale was in 3 weeks. What? Its only November, and its the season finale? Nice 8 episode season guys. O also read that the new season of 24 was on hold indefinitely and probably will not air now until January 2009 (will Earth even exist then?). Now they may also cancel Lost until 2009 as well. Whats going on people? Can't you found a bunch of monkeys to sit down and write these scripts? Couldn't some of the Network Big-Wigs (i.e. Millionaires) to dip slightly into their pockets and actually pay these writers, the ones making all this money for them. As funny as these shows are, the actors are only as funny as the writers.

If I were an actor or Network producer I would be embarrassed that my whole company is crumbling because our lowest employees who sit in a dark room in the basement smoking pot and drinking coffee are on strike, and we can't run our business any more without them. Its almost as if Snow.man went on strike from getting coffee for Jake and the whole company came to a halt and they couldn't find any one else to get coffee.

God forbid.....

God forbid that Fox play an actual game that has meaning. After watching the Packers woop up on the Vikings (man does the Vikings "offense" suck) Fox decides to air the Bears vs. Raiders game. Why not play the Cowboys and Giants, a game with actual meaning, instead of a game with a 2-6 and a 3-5 team. Lame!

Funny stuff

Will Ferrell might be the most naturally funny person alive, it doesn't matter what the script is, he will make it funny. Every movie that he just has a cameo in, he makes it the funniest scene. And movies that he stars in would be stupid, but he carries them and they are hilarious. He also has a video site called funnyordie.com which I guess allows people to post funny video clips, not people crying into the camera about how emo they are. Here are some highlight.








This one reminds me of EdGrimely's boss.



This one reminds me of Snow.man and his roommate out eating ice cream. (John Mayer has a sense of humor??)

Hidden Gem

Those of you lucky enough to be invited to my first wedding may remember my vows to my wife. (You probably don't because we were all so drunk). My vows included a line about how she was a hidden gem that had gone unnoticed until I found her and how lucky I was to have found her. 48 hours later when we were filing for a divorce for fundamental flaws, and her "extra-cuuriculars," it turns out she was not a hidden gem. HOwever the movie, The Wendell Baker Story, may be just that. It was written by Luke Wilson and star Owen Wilson and Eddie Griifin, even a small cameo by WIll Ferrell. The movie has a very similar feel to a Wes Anderson, and even features a few of the lesser known actors from those movies. It probably has a little more to say, and has a little more "heart" than a Wes Anderson movie, but it is similar in the type of comedy and is a "coming of age" movie in which the character grows as a person. It shows that Owen and Luke Wilson are hilarious and great actors, they just have to write their own movies, all the other movies they are in suck. (Vacancy, My Super-Ex Girlfriend, Hoot, Shanghai Knights, Night at the Museum to name a few.

Still an idiot....

Some of you may have been wondering what ever happened to Rosie O'Donnell (some of you may not care or were jsut glad she was gone). But it appears she is still a bumbling idiot. I guess she was offered a job on MSNBC to host a show simialr to Larry King. She then went on her blog (EdGrimley's favorite blog) and said she was working on a deal with them and the sides were far apart. MSNBC then decided to drop all talks because she was talking about their talks on her blog. Oh well. My respect for MSNBC just went up.

The saddest thing about this, and the reason for this rant is: (read this)
"poof/my career as a pundit is over/b4 it began."
That''s how O'Donnel types in her whole blog, she usally all kinds of shorthand and "text talk." What grown woman uses b4, U, R, DKN, BFF? Type the whole word you blabbering idiot. Better yet, stop typing or blogging at all. You are giving all us serious bloggers a bad name.

You can't make this up

From the files of You Couldn't Make this up comes another story Chinese made toys being pulled from shelves. Except this time it is not because of lead in the paint.

Now don't get any ideas EdGrimley or Snow.man but "Millions of Chinese-made children's toys have been pulled from shelves in North America and Australia after scientists found it contained a chemical that converts into a powerful "date rape" drug when ingested."

Now I don't really even see how this makes any sense but apparently Scientists say the beads contain a chemical that the human body metabolizes into the so-called date rape drug Gamma-Hydroxybutyrate (GHB).

That's so rude, I how someone stabs him in the eye with a fork.

So I go to the local grocery store last night to get the usual (duct tape, rope, shovel) and there is only 1 line open at 9:15. This seems a little odd, but I really need what I am in line for so I wait. The line is about 8 deep, with some people having full carts worth. About 5 minutes later a checker opens another line. Now instead of the people in the front of the line going into the new line because they have been waiting the longest; the people at the end of the line run up and go into the new line. Come on people. This is just a dick move. There was an elderly lady in line with 3 items but these 2 meat heads ran in line in front of her.

I was going to play a clip from youtube of people being rude, but when I searched all I found was clips of these sad emo teens complaining about how rude people are to them and make them cry. That is however hilarious.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaary, Baaaaaaaaaaaary

I just read an article saying that Barry Bonds plans to boycott the Hall of Fame if they display his home run ball with an asterick. Sounds like a dare. I dare MLB to display it with the asterick, just so Barry will never show is cheating, womaining, gambling ass in the place. I don't want to take my kids there one day and see him there and have to say, "Hey kids there's the guy who cheated his way to beating Hank Aaron's home run record and then lost it again 6 six years later to A-Rod, who then lost it 7 years later it Prince Fielder. And he's a total ass-clown."

The guy has said he wont donate any of his stuff like jerseys or bats to the Hall because he "has to look out for his family and take care of them." Good riddance. I dream of the day when he is out of baseball and no one mentions his name ever again. (Including his wife).

Random Rantings (Part 1)

I will have updated Random Rantings after the weekend I am sure, but a few things couldn't wait.

• A-Rod wants $30 million a year for 12 years. WTF? That is unbelievable. He is a great player no doubt, but is he worth that. That is over half of the entire Brewer's payroll. Sadly some team will pay that.
• Daunte Cullpepper is being replaced by Josh McCown. Too Sad For Cake. Culpepper was on the cover of Madden Football 2002, now he is being replaced by Josh McClown.
• Dog the Bounty Hunter is an unbelievable racist. Now A&E has stopped airing his show.
• Apparently Lance Armstrong is dating or hooking up with Ashley Olsen. What? That image will give me nightmares. I'm not a huge fan of Sherryl Crow, but leave her for Ashley Olsen? This re-proves my theory that Lance Armstrong is a douche bag.
• Criss (he actually spells his name like that)Angel snapped at some contestant on his show, Phenomenon because the guy claimed to be a psychic. Angel asked him to tell him what was written on a card, the guy immediately called Angel "ideological bigot" (big word) and approached him and they almost fought. Who watches this shit. Who cares who is going to be the next magician, and why does Criss Angel personally attack people who come on his show. After the writers strike next week, we can look forward to much more reality TV like this.
  

Welcome Back....

The NBA season is back and in full swing. Now any time I want to watch overpaid man-giants hog the ball and try to do aerobics in the air instead of passing the ball and have the stupidest tatoos, I have something to watch.

After one day of NBA everything is back to normal: The Bucks are terrible (did anyone actually think they would be good), Kobe wants to be traded, Iverson has yet to go to practice, Ron Artest punched a fan, the league leader in assists had 4 assists.

The regular season ends April 16, then two months of postseason. The Finals aren't scheduled until June 20. Holy crap is that a long season. They only play 84 games, yet it is as long as baseball season. These overpaid man-giants can't play back to back days. Lame

How does this keep happening?

I'm not complaining, but how do the Packers keep winning? They completely lucked out again last night and won. Cutler fumbled on the 1 yard line to prevent an early touchdown. And what was that last play Denver ran before the end of the game and barely getting a field goal, it looked like a play Mike McCarthey drew up. Then they needed a miracle throw from the noodle-armed retiree to win it. EdGrimley may have to give him a new nickname here pretty soon. They have yet to look really "good" in a game they won, and most games the other team has had more total yards than them. It seems that every week the other team makes some bone-headed plays and gives the Packers the victory.

If they had actually put any effort into gettting a running back this off season they could reasonably make a run at the big game this year. But with this running game they can not go any where. Once the weather turns bad and they can't pass they are going to lose a lot more games. Once teams figure out they can't run and put in 6 defensive backs, they won't be able to pass.

At the beginning of the season I predicted they would be 6-10, it now looks like I was wrong. I now think they will make the playoffs, not sure if they win the division (Detroit looks good too, and can run and pass). I predict they will be 10-6, but will lose their first playoff game. With no running game they could lose to the worst team in the league at any point

Random Rantings (Sports Edition)

• The NBA season starts on Wednesday. Who would have known. I know I wouldn't have known except that crime has risen in America recently, must be the NBA season.
• The NBA is going to allow their referees gamble in casinos during the off season. Brilliant. Can they also slap around hookers and start baby fights? Sign-me up.
• The World Series was completely lame.
• They had Boyz 2 Men and a dude from Earth, WInd and Fire sing the national anthem. Couldn't find Tony, Toni, Tone, or Milli Vanilli? How about either an artist from one of those cities or someone who has made music in the last 10 years.
• Now we have 6 long months of no sport really worth paying attention to.
• The NFl had a game in London over the weekend, why? I watched the first 2 minutes on Fox and they broadcasters actually said the excitement level was bigger than the Super Bowl. Please, it was the Giants and the Dolphins. The Dolphins might be the worst team in the last 6 years. And they Giants are all ass-holes.
• How are the Rams 0-7? According to pres-season polls they have a top 3 running back, top 5 wide receiver, and top 10 quarterback. You would think that would correlate to one victory. The Packers have no running back, one top 10 wide receiver, and a 37 year-old quarterback and they are 5-1.
• If I see one more report on Sports Center about how the fires in California are inconveniencing athletes and how these teams had to practice elsewhere, I am going to go down the their studios and punch Stuart Scott in the face. Who cares. These fires have killed 13, and dissplaced thousands of people with no fire insurance or place to go.

Too beautiful for this world....

The new TV season is barely a month old, and there are already casualties. I read that ABC is giving Cavemen 2 more weeks and it will probably be axed. Who would have guessed that that was a terrible idea for a TV show? But the first official victim is Viva Laughlin on CBS. I never watched the show, actually never even heard of it. I guess it is a musical crime drama set in Las Vegas. Yes you heard me right, a musical crime drama set in Las Vegas. The actors danced and sang modern pop hits while solving crimes and committing crimes in Sin City. The funniest things is that I just read that Hugh Jackman had joined the cast after the first 2 episodes to help its ratings. Why is Hugh Jackman doing a terrible musical crime drama on CBS? He was Wolverine. (Actually read they are currently filming the Wolverine Prequel to X-Men)

Fight!

Apparently Kid Rock got into a fight at a Waffle House over the weekend. How sad is this? A Waffle House? I mean who hasn't gone to a strip club and bitch slapped a stripper? We all have. But who goes to a Waffle House and starts a fight with 5 members of your "posse" against one dude? And then this a@*-hole calls himself "rock and roll." Lame. If I were Kid Rock I wouldn't even admit that I was ever at a Waffle House, let alone starting fights there.

Now here's Rock and Roll:

Bye Bye Birdie....

MLB.com is reporting that the Detroit Tigers are interested in picking up Geoff Jenkins option for 2008. So it may be the last we have seen of him in a Brewer's uniform. Also, why would the Tigers want him, and at that amount.

In answer to your questions....

After mentioning seeing a movie with my ex-wife, many of my avid readers have been e-mailing in and asking what every happened all those years ago to get us to get a divorce? Many have said they have heard of rumors of "fundamental flaws." This couldn't be further from the truth. We both loved each other very much and got along very well. In fact it was love that truly tore us apart.



We both had love for other respective things in our life. My love for a good baby fight on the weekend, and her love for COCK. A love that could never be satisfied.

Thank you all for your concern into our relationship, and I hope that answers your questions.

Thought I'd never say it.......

Ben Affleck is a good director and Casey Affleck is a hell of a actor. I went and saw Gone Baby Gone with the ex-wife last night. Yes we're talking again, but we did sit on opposite sides of the theater. The movie was very good, very similar style to Mystic River.

Cassey Affleck is in every shot of the movie, and does some narration in parts of the movie. Who would have thought the dorky brother of Ben Affleck, last seen in the Ocean Eleven movies as an idiot, had quite the emotional range. There are scenes with action, with comedy, and were intense drama; and he pulls them all off. The movie is not light, it is about child abduction and the lifestyle of the lower class, especially in south Boston, and what that lifestyle pushes people to doing. It is however very good, best movie I have seen this year. It hurts me to say it but Casey Affleck should be nominated for an Oscar. That's especially sad because the only reason he was ever in any movie is because he is Ben Affleck's brother and he got drunk a few times with Matt Damon.

Ben Affleck also does a good job directing the movie, and writing the screen play. There are a few very emotionally intense scenes that he handles beautifully with the camera angles and also directing tricks. I never read the book (I can't read) but it feels as if he does a good job turning it into a movie. It keeps you interested throughout, even after a few parts in which you think the movie is winding down, and you've figured it out, it keeps you interested and emotionally invested.

Random Rantings

• USA Today featured an article today talking about "2007 Most Caring Athletes" and picked Steve Nash and Dwayne Wade. First Nash is Canadian so I don't care how caring he is, he comes from a hippy culture. Wade just left his wife and 2 kids like 3 months ago. How caring is that? Oh yeah honey good luck raising our 2 kids I;m leaving you and are going to start banging every chick I meet on the road.
• Fox is premiering a new show this week called "The nExt Great America Band" in which competitors audition and compete in the same manner as on American on American IDol, but as bands instead of individuals.
• Oh yeah. Johnny Rzeznik is a judge on that show, he is the last person on earth who can judge what makes a good band.
• The shortstop on the Indians spells his name Jhonny Peralta, only an idiot doesn't know how to spell a name as simple as John or Johnny.
• I really hope they find out someday that those Bluetooth headsets cause severe, irreversible brain cancer. Those people look absolutely ridiculous wearing them.
• Jimmy Eat World is still making emo music. Those people really must not have been loved by their parents.
• There is a Jackass video game. What do you do just smash each other in the nuts and shove shit up your ass. Sounds like Snow.man's New Year Eve Party last year.
• The state of WI might have the worst professional sports coaches in the country. Obviously Ned Yost. McCarthy of the Packers is terrible. When there was 4 mins left, the Packers had the lead and the ball on a 3rd and 2; why not run it and use the clock and maybe get a first down? No, McCarthy does a 60 pass with the New TD King and it is picked off giving the Redskins another chance that they somehow blew. I have no idea who coaches the Bucks, but I am sure he is terrible.
• Why didn't the Packers trade up to draft Adrian Peterson? (they had offers) The guy gets over 200 yards today, and all our "running backs" combined have never been over 100 in any game.
• Boston University's football field is called Nickerson Field.
• On the plus side I guess Al Gore solved World Peace
  

They stole my idea....

As many of you know I have been writing a screen play for years. It is loosely based on the life of EdGrimley and his struggles with manhood. It features a young man who is too insecure to talk to girls so he lives in a make believe world of online love with invisible women. He even goes as far as building a woman for himself out of recycled beer cans and pillow cushion stuffings from his old couch. But then yesterday I turn on the Internets and see a preview for a new movie coming out in a week with the same premise. A young man is so turned off to the world that he purchases a life like doll online and pretends to everybody that she is his girlfriend. Watch this trailer to believe it.




I don't know if this movie is a comedy or the most bizarre and F%@*ed-up drama ever. What I do know is that it is a ripoff of my idea and Mannequin.

There is also a movie coming out called "The Eye" in which Jessica Alba plays a blind hot chick. Too bad that weren't true, I might actually have a chance with her. She wouldn't know how hideous I am and how hot she is.

True Colors

Sitting around and watching the Packers-Bear's game yesterday one thought came to mind, "This is the team we thought they were." The Packers are not a 5-0 team, they shouldn't have been a 4-0 team. They really aren't that good. Yesterday's game showed their true colors and showed why they will lose 4 of the next 5 and miss the playoffs in Favre's last year:

• Terrible offense (they had like 75 yards in the 2nd half)
• No running game (no one has over 100 yards in a game yet)
• Turnovers (they had4, and will continue to make more)
• Favre's interceptions (the interception king is back)
• McCarthey is a joke (those plays he challenged were ridiculous, why go right back to Jones on the next play after he just fumbled)
• Nick Barnett is a cocky- a@*hole (those two unnecessary roughness penalties gave Bears points)

Yes the Packers could have won, and are still 4-1 and in first, but as I watched the game I got a feeling that this was what the rest of the season is going to feel like. After Jones' first fumble in the red zone, I knew the Packers would lose. 3 tunrovers and only 125 yeards of offense later, it was reality.

Too bad too sad...

The Cubs were just eliminated from the playoffs tonight by the Arizona Diamondbacks. All that work and all that money spent, and three games later, back to your miserable lives. 3 games and they didn't even look good in any of the games, pretty pathetic.

It all goes back to my original theory; God hates the Cubs.

Al Gore is an A*@hole

Alright it is October 6 in Wisconsin and it is 85 degrees outside, and is supposed to be even hotter tomorrow. What gives man? Have we ever heard of the season of Fall? Its gonna go from summer to winter overnight. Sunday its gonna be almost 90, and I bet on Monday its snowing. I blame Al Gore, why not? I also blame EdGrimley and his Al Gore pandering blog niceweatherinmilwaukee.blogspot.com.

Also, did you see that Indians and Yankees game last night. What was with all those bugs? I know Cleveland is the armpit of America, but that was ridiculous.

Great Career Move

Every so often its great to watch someone make a ridiculous career move and leave a TV show that is successful for a shot a stardom (think Shelley Long on Cheers or David Caruso on NYPD Blue). I couldn't sleep the other night (being covered in blood will do that) so I turned on the late night idiot box to see what state late night talk shows were in. I had forgotten that Craig Kilbourn used to host the Late Late Show before this Mr. Wick guy from the Drew Carey SHow. I remembered reading that Kilbourn left to focus on his movie career. Lets look at his movie career since 2002: The Shaggy Dog (led by Tim Allen), The Benchwarmers (A Rob Schneider vehicle) and now Full of It (which is led by some kid who was on the second season of Punk'd).

Craig Kilbourn has officially derailed. Remember when he used to do the Daily SHow and it was hilarious back then. Remember 5 Questions? Remember when he was on SPorts Center and was funny. Now he is playing second fiddle to some jackass from Punk'd.

Season Review

I promise I once again will start ranting about something else beside the Brewers but for now you'll have to deal with it. With the season over and the Brewers finishing 2 above .500 even though they were once 14 above I have some thoughts.

Things to change:

• FIre Yost (duh)
• Sign Braun and Fielder long term before they become ungodly good (Braun the next Boggs??)
• Stick with a set lineup with maybe 2 changes a week for rest
• Fielder, Braun, Hardy, Hart should play 162 games
  
• Trade either Vargas, Bush, Cappy; put one in bullpen; and start one
• Resign Cordero
• Get rid of Turnblow, Wise, King, McCullen, Spurling
• Do not resign Counsell, Graffanino, Mench, Gross
• I say resign Jenkins for minimum for feteran leadership and pinch hitting and defense, but never, ever start

Lineup should be

• Weeks (2B)
• Hart (RF)
• Braun (3B)
• Fielder (1B)
• Hired Outfield Help*(LF)
• Hall (CF)
• Hardy (SS)
• Estrada (C)
• Sheets/Gallardo/ Villeneuva/ Suppan/ Vargas

Bench (in order): Gwynn, Jenkins, Dillon, Rottino, Miller, Rivera, Nix
Bullpen (no order): Bush, Shouse, Cordero,Parra, Linebrink??, the rest filled somehow

*Brewers need to acquire a hired help left fielder, suggestions:

• Mets are going to dismantle that team
• Get Dunn or Griffey from reds
• Astros may dismantle as well
• Trade for Franceuor or Andrew Jones from Atlanta (ship Weeks/ Sheets/ Hall/ Cappy)
• Put up money and sign Jermaine Dye

Just ideas. Knowing the BRewers they will do nothing and improve my 2 games again over the next 2 years and in 2009 be 4 games above .500

Fan Appreciation Day

Sunday was fan apprecxiation day at Miller Park for the BRewers. How do they thank the fans? Not do they give Yost another vote of confidence saying eh will be backm they don't play Fielder (the best player), Hall (a fan favorite), and they allow Jenkins a standing ovation. I know Hall has been struggling, but put Gross in?? Its a meaningless game, let the fans see who they want to see on the last game. I read in the paper that Fielder had a slightly sprained ankle from the night before, thats why he sat out. I'm not buying it though. He finished the game on Saturday, how hurt could he be. At least let him pinch hit at some point so we can see him swing the bat again. The only player Yost took out so that the fans could cheer him was Jenkins. Now I understand the mentality behind this; he probably won't be back, he has been on the team for ever, was the face of Brewer's baseball for years, and all in all in a stand-up guy (he's never in trouble and does stuff in the community. But why not take Braun out in the 9th so he can get an ovation. He has been one of the best rookies in MLB in years, one of the most prolific Brewers in years. I mean Yost takes him out in 1 run games that matter, but not in a 7 run game that is meaningless. Why not put Fielder in the 9th and immediately take him out so we can cheer him. He has put together one of the best Brewer season in years?

Not only is Yost a terrible coach, but he also doesn't know how to run a fan appreciation night in a meaningless game. About 4 years ago on the last day the Yankees had Clemens and Petite coach the team and have fun with it. The Yankees had already wrapped up the division, now they just wanted the fans and players to have some fun. The Brewers on the other hand use players like Nix, King, Rittino, Dillon, and some jack-ass outfielder I have never hear of. LAME

When it's over...

With the Brew Crew winning and the Cubbies win, it's offically over for the Brewer's. It was a hell of a run but I guess a complete idiot of a manager can't manage a good team to a winning season. If the Brewer's lose these last two games against the Padres which is very likely because the Padres are fighting for their playoff lives, the Brewers will finish at exactly .500, which is exactly where they finished 2 years ago without Fielder, Braun, or Hart. After two years with better players, old Yosty-boy is no better than he was two years ago without the talent. Come on, thats sad. 99% of the league with kill to have Fielder or Braun or Gallardo, and we have all of them. Most teams would also love to have Hart, Villeneuva, Hardy, and even Weeks. How are we crawling to .500. Lets just hope that not only is this the end of the season, but hopefully the end of Yost era, and beginning of the Chorizo era.

Untouchable

I am a fan of saying that no one is untouchable, everyone is replaceable, especially in the world of sports. Even at his heyday the Bulls said Jordan wasn't untouchable, if they got the right offer or he asked for too much money they would trade him. Shaq, Kevin Garnett, Terrell Owens, and others have all been traded.

The theory going on in my head is that if the Brewers fail to make the playoffs after having such a lead and having the best record in baseball, surely Yost would be fired but after yesterday's game the owner Mark Attanasio said that “Ned is fine,” indicating that his job was not in jeopardy. WTF? He has no idea what he is doing, leaves pitchers in too long, takes out his bets hitter for his worst hitter, and his players hate him and aren't afraid to tell him that. No one listens to this clown, for crying out loud he scratches a mosquito and someone steals third. Even if the Brewers won the world series, he should be fired. Look at Marty Shottenheimer of the Chargers; last year they were 14-2 and he still got canned. Yost needs to be out of there as fast as my ex-wife left me after she popped out her second kid.

Attention Guys

You are all invited to my party mansion. All cool dudes are welcome. Nothing Sexual. Good fun times to be had. Dudes in shape. Observation humor preferred. Nothing Sexual.

You're going to have shit shoved up your ass so hard tonight buddy.

Bizarro World

I feel like I am in some crazy parallel universe or bizarro world. How the hell did the Packers beat the Chargers? I know that the Chargers are not as good as they were last year, but surely they are better than the Packers. The same Packers with a 36 year old quarterback, no running back, and a joke of a General Manager who signed 0 free agents. I know that a lot of the game came down to dumb luck but still. Why was it even close enough were luck was the difference? I'm not complaining, I'm still a fan but this is getting absurd. Is it possible that the Packers can finish with a better record than the Brewers?

Yosted

The game isn't even over yet but I'm calling this game is all on Yost's head. AFter Corey Hart hits a home run to give the Crew the lead. The Brewers then get a man on third with 1 out, cool we can expand our lead. What does Yost do? He pinch hits Counsell and has him bunt. What? A pop up gives you another run. Even after Counsell gets 2 strikes against him, he stays bunting and bunts out. Then he keeps Counsell in the game and takes out Braun, our best hitter. In the bottom 11 with Braves having 2 runners on, they just showed Yost shaking his head. He realizes he has only 8 more games to coach the Brewers then unemployment here we come.


They just lost. YOSTED!!

Time of death....

Not to jump off bandwagons but I believe that the fat lady has sung for our beloved Milwaukee Brewers.





They are now 1 1/5 games back and have to play 3 more at the Braves, 3 with Cardinals, and 3 with Padres. All without Sheets and Yost as their manager. The Cubs play the lowly Pirates now.

It was a hell of a run though. I think the experience of a pennant race with do a lot of good for the team though. They should have wone their division with the lead that they had though.

Post-season ranting is only 12 days away....

God help us.....

I was sitting in front of my TV today trying to unwind after a day at work and the CBS evening news was on. I usually don't watch the national news but I was half asleep and didn't feel like turning. AT the end of the program there was a startling report.

Out west black bears are making there ways into urban ares. Often times going into people's garages, trees, and even homes. The piece showed a bear opening a door of a home. The piece explained that due to drought there is less food in the wild for the bears to eat so they are heading into cities to find berries and food. They are covering the real story, these bears are coming to kill us. We have long known that bears are godless-killing machines. I think their time has finally come.

They showed this gentleman who catches these bears int he cities. Instead of killing them, he takes them out to the wild and lets them out of the cage and fires at them, purposely missing. He says that he is teaching the bear that humans are not afraid and stay away. Actually you are teaching the bear that humans are a terrible and he should bring his friends and come back and attack.

You were warned. Bears are starting to organize and are going to attack.

My parents always taught me "don't bring a gun to a bear fight."

Happy Retirement Dog

Its official, Kanye West out sold 50 Cent. According to previous threats, if Kanye West outsold him, he was going to retire.I guess that's one less rapper in the game. Too bad, so sad.

The interesting part of the article is that 50 Cent doesn't say whether he really will retire, even though the people have spoken. He also goes on to say “I am very excited to have participated in one of the biggest album release weeks in the last two years." But he wasn't the reason it was such a big week, it was because so many people bought Kanye West's CD. That's like me claiming success for my indi-film about Baby FIghts contributing to the success of Spider-Man at the box office. I mean they both came out on the same week. Spider-Man raked in $60 million, my movie raked in $9.50.

Why?

Ryan Seacrest is hosting the Emmy's tonight. Why? They just showed Stephen Colbert in the audience, now that would have been a good choice.

Where am I.......

I'm not sure what's happening but I'm pretty sure that I still live in Wisconsin. Some how the Brewers have won 2 in a row and actually looked good in both (knock on wood). Not even Ned Yost could ruin it. Also today I'm pretty sure that the Packers won, I'm not positive because I am pretty hung over. I might be wrong but the Packers are a terrible team with no offense, an idiot coach, and literally no running game. Despite all this somehow they are 2-0. I stand by my prediction that they will finish 6-10, but now it's getting close. I don't know what's going on but Wisconsin sports team are not supposed to be good at all. I know that the Brewers are still in 2nd and its early in the football season, but still this just doesn't feel right.

Now this is marketing...

I was sitting half awake on my couch trying to shake off Saturday night and saw this commercial for Halo 3. I think this is bad ass.




They don't even show a second of the actual game, they don't have to. You know it is gonna be sweet. If they ever make a Halo movie, which they probably will because every video game eventually does, I hope it is like this commercial and not just this CGI crap with a bunch of explosions and Vin Diesel in it.

Douche bag Time

I was sitting at a not-so local tavern last night trying to silence the voices in my head with alcohol. I walked to the bathroom and notices something that is the beginning of the end as far as modern society is concerned. They had an electronic arcade version of "Bags." Are you kidding me? Bags? That shitty game that idiots play before baseball games in which you throw bean bags and small holes cut in wood. I thought this was a local game here in Milwaukee, buy I guess there are douche bags every where. Do we really need an electronic version of soemthing we can play in our backyard whenever want?

This has got to stop. Next they'll be electronic bar dice game. Hey lets go to the bar and play bar dice, but not in person, but on the arcade machine. Lets create an arcade drinking game, an arcade dog-fighing game, even better a baby-fighting game.

The worst thing was that I was at the bar for 45 minutes and the same three douche bags were playing the game the whole time and they were having a great time.

A bunch of savages...

I just went to Pick 'n Save grocery store to pick up the essentials (toilet paper and a bottle of whiskey) and was appalled at the state of the parking lot. I counted 12 carts that were not put into the cart rack. Come on, how difficult can that be people? There were 4 spots that I had to drive past and was not able to park in because there was a cart in it. I even found 4 carts literally right next to the cart rack, it would have taken a matter of seconds to put it away. Lets all clean up after our selves, we're not hippies.

Angry e-mail time

Those TV buffs out there in the Blog-o-sphere may ahve notice that TBS has changed their evening lineup. They used to play Seinfeld from 5-6, but now air Seinfeld from 4-5. You used to get home from work (those of us who work) and put your feet up and watch 1 hour of the funniest television program ever aired. But now, 4 o'clock? Who's at home at 4 o'clock? TBS is also now airing 3 episodes of Everyone Love's Raymond from 5:30-7 PM. Everybody Loves Raymond? That is by far the most over-rated show ever aired. Even people who watched it will tell you that it is terrible. Why 3 episodes a day? Now I have nothing to watch when I get home from 5-6. I guess I'm just going to have to go on a crime spree everyday from 5-6. Don't blame me, blame TBS. They moved Seinfeld to a terrible time slot. Where I am going to get my daily dose of dry humor?




Everyone please e-mail TBS at tbsinfo@turner.com and demand them to change Seinfeld back to 5-6. Otherwise they are going to have a lot of guilt on there hands with rising crime rates.

A sports anomaly

All you Wisocnsin sports fans out there, please do not get too ahead of yourself. Yes the Brewers are once again in First Place, yes the Packers won, and yes the Badgers won, but there is much more to the story.

• The Brewers are still being coached by Ned Yost and we still ahve Ray King in the bullpen and Counsell as our first guy off the bench. I am hoping they pull this off and make the playoffs, but they probably do not deserve to. I also fear that they totally embarass themselves in the playoffs in front of a national audience.
• The Packers won the first game of the year for the first time in 4 year, but they are still very bad. They scored 10 of their 16 points off of special teams, and scored another 3 off of interception. Their offense is terrible. Its all rookies except Driver, who usually has 2 players covering him, and gets leveled every time the ball comes his way. This team will not be so lucky every week, and will play better teams than the Eagles and they are going to have a long season.
• The Badgers barely beat a terrible team. They're #5 in the country and should be blowing out these terrible non-Big Ten teams. They're going to have a hard time in the Big Ten playing teams like Penn State and Ohio State.
• This is Wisconsin, where no sports team ever does anything good to get excited about. This weekend was just the exception, not the rule, don't get used to it.
  

An excuse I have never heard before

Now "Coach" Yost has sunk to new lows to make excuses for the fact that he has no idea on how to manage a team. After last night's loss (specifically having Gross steal 3rd base with Fielder coming to bat) Yost is blaming a mosquito. Come on, this is sad even for Yost. Why is the "steal third" signal a scratch on the neck?

Did the mosquito tell him to keep Bush in after giving up 6 in the 1st inning? Did the mosquito tell him to not bring up Gwynn? But in Ray King? Trade for Linebrink and King? Sign Counsell and Grafinno but not Cirillo? Put Aquino in with bases loaded on his first night on the team? Allow Turnblow to walk the bases loaded?

I dare Yost to come out after a game and say "My bad. I really did a poor job managing out there today." Then I might actually believe him. The beautiful thing is that if Chorizo was coaching the team, this would not have happened. Chorizo's don't get mosquito bites.

Test time children....

Today we are having a pop quiz here in the blog-o-sphere:
Which of these two players more than likely used steroids in 2004: (make your decision only on statistics and pictures, no names will be used to protect the innocent)

A) 2004 stats: In 2004, "Mr. B" had perhaps his best season. He hit .362 en route to his second National League batting title, and broke his own record by walking 232 times. He slugged .812, which was fourth-highest of all time, and broke his on-base percentage record with a .609 average. "Mr. B" passed Mays on the career home run list, hitting his 700th near the end of the season. "Mr. B" hit 45 home runs in 373 at-bats, and struck out just 41 times, putting himself in elite company, as few major leaguers have ever had more home runs than strikeouts in a season. "Mr. B" would win his fourth consecutive MVP award and his seventh overall. His seven MVP awards are four more than any other player in history. On July 4, 2004 he tied and passed Rickey
Henderson's career bases on balls record with his 2190th and 2191st career walks.


(Picture on left is from the early 90s picture on right is from 2000-2004)

Player B: "Mr A" returned to the majors in September 2004, posting a 5.40 ERA in five relief appearances. "Mr A" announced that he was switching to the outfield, after an unsuccessful practice outing in which his wildness reappeared, as he threw only three strikes out of 20 pitches. He slugged .514 in single A, and .515 in double A, with 5 outfield assists in 55 games.





How dare Player B use steroids and destroy baseball's image like that. I wish more children would look up to Player A and baseball should embrace him and have him as their new image of a steroids free era.



*Statistics and career summaries courtesy of Wikipedia

And the Brewer's new manager is.....

The Brewers proved last night that if they score 12 runs that they can still win even if Yost makes some ridiculous decisions. (Thank god we traded for Ray King)

You're welcome a@*-hole

Some of my readers were noticing that I haven't been as angry or grippy recently. Fear not; I am back to working 40+ hours a week with high school students, my anger couldn't be higher.

While driving home from work I usually just take city streets and take my time. Its nice to just sit in my car and listen to my music and calmly drive home after a long day at work. Whenever someone needs to change lanes or turn I usually stop and let them in because I am in no hurry at all. I have noticed this week that no one ever raises their hand to thank the driver who let them in anymore.

I was driving home today and someone was trying to turn left onto a busy 2 way each direction street. I stopped to let him in and he then stopped in front of me for awhile until the next lane stopped for him and he was eventually able to turn. This driver did not raise his hand to thank either of us. (His window was even open, he could have verbally said thank you if he had wished.) People, it doesn't get any easier than this. Raise your hand to thank another driver for making your day easier and saving you time.

Too sad for cake

This week's Too Sad for Cake was another close race....

Coming in second was Jerry Lewis




How many more celebrities need to use derogatory comments in public before they learn their lesson. I have thick skin, but come one. What you say in the privacy of your own home is your own thing, more power too you. But when you are having a Tele-thon on national TV, I think you should watch what you are saying.

This week's "winner" however goes to Whoopi Goldberg. This was her first week on The View, maybe even her first day, and she goes to defend Michael Vick and say dog fighting is okay in the south. I understand that the south is years behind us yankees, but dog fighting; come on. "He's from the South, from the Deep South ... This is part of his cultural upbringing,"
"For a lot of people, dogs are sport," Goldberg said on the show. "Instead of just saying (Vick) is a beast and he's a monster, this is a kid who comes from a culture where this is not questioned."

A few things to note about her comments. First off Vick grew up in Newport News, VA; which is two miles south of Washingotn DC. I would hardley call that the "Deep South." There are a few other things that used to be excepted in the south that thankfully are no longer socially acceptable (slavery, voodoo, witch hunting, cannibalism too name a few).

I read an interesting blog about this whole Vick thing and the writer pointed out that he wonders if there is anything anyone will ever be able to do that everyone condemns. It seems that nowadays everything you do is defended by someone. Dog-fighting is part of his culture. Bathroom sex between two people is normal. Being pregnant and doing coke because you are misunderstood and your parents never loved you. If you drink, drive, and have coke on you; as long as no one is killed (even if you tried to run someone over) is ok. Come people. Stop defending idiots for their stupid actions.

What next, someone will start defending baby fighting?

It's only a dollar

On the way home today I stopped at Pick 'n Save, our local supermarket here in Milwaukee. I bought a few essentials (duck tape, rope, and a shovel) and went to check out. Pick 'n Save is currently running a promotion in which you can donate a dollar to Heart Disease and get a paper heart to put on the wall with your name. While in line the 3 people in front of me all checked out using their debit or credit card and each were asked if they would like to donate a dollar to heart disease. Each person said "No." Come on its a dollar. And you're using your debit card and its not like you are using cash and have to go back into your wallet and pull out another dollar. Our people that against donating money to a real charity? No wonder the rest of the world hates us. These are the people that I hope some day need the help of another human being, and then find out that no one cares about their well-being. Just like you didn't care about donating ONE DOLLAR to heart disease research. (Need I mention that heart disease is the number one cause of death among American males).

I was right...

Back in May I ranted about this terrible idea for a new reality show on CBS called Kid Nation. By now you may have seen commercials for this program on television. It turns out that yes it is a terrible idea for a show and maybe America has become smart enough to realize this. I read in the newspaper today that many advertisers are pulling out of the show even before it airs because they feel that CBS is exploiting kids for ratings. Oh wait that is exactly what I ranted about months ago. To counteract this CBS has sent the entire series to advertisers so they can watch the whole things and see that these kids are not being exploited for ratings. Many people think there is a chance that the show will no longer ever see the light of day and will not air. I am betting that you will find some advertisers stupid enough to want to but time on the show and the show will air, but let's hope that America does not watch it and these advertisers, and CBS lose money on this.

This is unbelievable... (in a bad way)

This isn't turning into a Ned Yost hating site, even though that would be very easy. But it needs to be said that Ned Yost, and Ned Yost alone, cost the Brewers the victory today. The Brewers did their part and were up 7-4 going into the 8th, and the Yosted.

First he put in Turnblow in the 8th, not a terrible decision. Turnblow usually pitches the 8th and for the most part does a good job. But today he gave up two walks and a single to load the bases. History shows that if Turnblow walks anyone (even one guy) or gets a guy into scoring position, he panics and blows up. So after the first walk and single Yost should have pulled him, but of course he was too busy reading "Idiots guide to managing" and failed to take him out. So after loading the bases Yost finally takes him out and puts in Shouse. Shouse has been the best pitcher out of the bullpen in the second half, was named Brewers pitcher of the month in AUgust, and has an ERA under 2. So this is actually a good decision. Shouse comes in and get a sac fly. So Brewers are still up by two and now there are two outs, no worries. But then the brilliant Yost puts in Aquino. Aquino was terrible earlier in the year when he was on the team and was just brought back up yesterday. Why put in a guy in a situation he is doomed to fail in? So Aquino has a wild pitch (runners on 2nd and 3rd), then gives up a triple (tie ballgame, runner on third), then has another wild pitch (Astros are leading). After the inning the whole stadium stood up and booed. In my heart I hoped they were booing Yost for throwing away the game. This guy has no right to be coaching a Little League Girl Teeball team, let alone a major league team in a playoff hunt. I can't even find the words to express this emotion I am feeling inside. Fire him now, let the Chorizo coach the rest of the year. Now I have to go take my anger out on the baby fights I am going to tonight.

(Insert angry title)

I have hated Ned Yost all season, but now enough is enough. Why is this guy still trying to coach this team? In any other sport, on any other team, in any other city this guy would have been gone months ago.

The Brewers had the best record in the NL through the first 2 months, but ever since they have THE WORST record in the NL. Why not change the coach? The team obviously has some talent and before yesterday's games had a chance at the division. Now its too late and they will probably have a worse record than last year. This guy Yost has no idea what he is doing as a coach during the game and doesn't appear to be a good locker room coach motiviated his team to do anything. Aside from a few Fielder expolsions (wherein one of these times he is going to eat someone) this team has no life. That is directly a result of the coach. Period.

In yesterdays game he did not pinch hit for Suppan in the 6th with a runner on and 1 out. Why not? Suppan is terrible after the 6th, we all know this by now. And then Yost has him pitch to the first batter and then goes to the bull pen. Thank god we didn't pinch hit for him and kept him in. Who else could have hit Cliff FLoyd with a pitch?

Why not leave Yost in Chicago and have someone else finish out the season? This way we will all know it was Yost all along. Then next year bring in Joe Girardi and bring on the pennant.
Anyone could finish this season at this point. One of the Sausage Racers? Bernie Brewer? Hell, have a contest at the game every day to see who the coach is for the day. They would all be better.

Take those things off

I am officially saying that those stupid-ass "Crocs" are not shoes and I am tired of seeing 21-st Century hippies wearing them. Today I was doing "errands" around town and down on Marquette University and noticed more and more idiots wearing those. Are they more comfortable? Cooler? They look like shit. I don't know how they could be more comfortable, they are made out of plastic and rubber. They're not cooler; they are plastic with about 10, dime-sized holes in them. they also come in the most gay and obnoxious colors. I saw people wearing bright yellow ones, purple ones, and bright baby blue ones.They are officially Dead To Me and I challenge any of my readers that sees anyone wearing them to punch them square in the mouth.

I hope this never gets old

First off, what Michael Vick did is horrific, terrible, and one of the worst things I've heard in a while. A buddy of mine put it this way: "Vick should be put into a ring with Randy Couture (current UFC champion) and if he doesn't win, drown him."

With that being said, I hope jokes about this never get old. If they do drown me. At our online Fantasy Football Draft (for recreational purposes only) Snow.man drafted Ray Lewis. Edgrimley then went on to call him a murderer Snow.man then had the line of the day: "At least he had the decency to kill human beings." I also enjoy when someone asks what you are doing later saying, "Drowning a few dogs, maybe go to a dog fight or two." As long as we don't gamble on it, its okay. Gambling is illegal.
A company has jumped on this and is making dog chew toys of Michael Vick for your dogs to chew. Hilarious.

God bless the idiots

I don't know what is funnier about this clip:

• That is one ridiculously stupid question. I teach high school and would have no idea how to answer that.
• That girl must be a great conversationalist. She is struggling just to make a sentence. Noun, verb, direct object, repeat, maybe use an adjective or adverb if you're good.
• AC Slater is hosting it. Mario Lopez should kill off his "Mario Lopez" image and only go around as AC Slater, I think he might be more successful.
  

Where am I?

I just ran to the post office to buy some stamps and mail some letters. (Threatening letters to my ex wife) I was just gonna go run in and use the automated machine and purchase some stamps. However, the machine was out of regular stamps so I had to wait in line at buy them from a teller. WTF? How is the post office's automated stamp machine out of stamps?? THE POST OFFICE! Thats like going to a movie theater and the projector being broke, or the gas station being out of gas. This is all you people do, sell stamps and mail letters. Get it together.

What about Baby Boy 2?

I guess "acclaimed" director and producer John Singleton hit a jaywalker and killed her. He was not under the influence or anything and was immediately released. However there are two interesting things about this story.

1) Notice who was the police officer on the scene and who the article references when you click his name. Someone should have proof read that one a bit.

2) John Singleton may have directed Boyz n the Hood, but look at what he has done since: that terrible Shaft remake, Baby Boy, 2 Fast 2 Furious, and that terrible Mark Wahlberg movie Four Brothers.

I think it is time we remove the title "acclaimed" when speaking of John Singleton.


How come he hits a jaywalker and is immediately let go by th epolice but when I drive around town running over hookers I have the entire Milwaukee Police Department on my tail?

Too sad for cake....

This was another close week for the Too Sad for Cake Award. First Runner up goes to Craig Counsell of the Milwaukee Brewers. Counsell struck out against Jeff Cirillo, who had never pitched in a major league game before. I know Counsell is a gritty veteran but you can't even make contact against a 13 year veteran Third Baseman who has already been cut this year once and has never pitched in the majors. Come On.

The winner this week however is Latrell Sprewell. SPrewell had his $1.5 million yacht seized in northern Wisconsin for lack of payments. This is sad on multiple levels. If you had a $1.5 million yacht would you be driving it on Lake Michigan off the coast of northern Wisconsin? Wisconsin is a dark desolte void of life, especially the farther north you go. Sprewell played 13 years in the NBA and made good money and also endorsed Nike. How come he didn't just go out and drop $1.5 million on the yacht instead of making monthly payments of $10,000? Two years ago Sprewell turned down $21 million over 3 years from Minnesota saying he "has a family to look out for." Since then he has gotten no offers from any team. I bet that money would have been real handy when trying to pay for your boat. I guess he is going to have to start choking people in his house again instead of on his $1.5 million yacht. Too Sad.