Another reason to hate the British

So on Monday nights a few of my nerdy friends and myself go to an area bar and play a trivia game (break into groups and a guy asks a series of questions in categories such as Geography, Movies, History, etc). There are usually around 15-18 teams there. We consistently finsih around 4th place. Once tied for second and have never finished below 6th. Not too bad. The guy who hosts the events is British and a couple douche bag. He thinks he is the greatest thing ever and his questions are horrible and every so often he has the wrong answer. Here are some examples:

• Once asked "What is the most common language the Guiness Book of Records is printed in?" We put Mandarin. He said the answer was Chinese. Myself and a team went up to him after and explained that Chinese isn't a language, its a culture. It would be like saying American is a language or Mexican is a language. We lost the argument.
• He once asked what is the one country with 'ee' in it. We said Greenland and Greece. He said that it was only Greece and Greenland isn't a country but is a province of Denmark. However a search on the Encyclopedia Brittanica says that it is a province of Denmark but is also considered a country.
• He once asked, "what is the largest city east of the Mississippi River without an NFL team affiliated with it. We asked "does it count if they play in the city, or just if they are affiliated with it?" He said, it is just affiliated with it, and The Patriots count for Boston." We put Newark, New Jersey. He said the answer was Richmond, Virginia. Long story short Newark has more people in the city and the county or Richmond, so I don't know where he got his facts. We argued it and he said that Newark is conisidered part of New York. WTF? He didn't argue that the Jets were technically considered from Newark, he argued that the city of Newark was technically the city of New York.
• Also, the game is advertised to start at 8, but has never started before 8:20. He takes 20 minutes to set up his I-book to play music does about 5 minutes of "testing, testing" on the microphone and then talks to some of the tools there that worship him.
  

Basically he is an idiot.
Each week first and second place get a $25 and $10 bar tab. A few weeks back he started a bar tab for best team name. We then decided to be creative with our names to try to win and then we switched strategies and just made fun of him with our names. Take a look:

• "What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?" (got a lot of confused looks)
  
• "You don't fuck a sandwich before you eat it?" (lots of laughs and groans and then hisses)
• "My wife isn't the only one getting 3 inches tonight." (this was the night before we were predicted to get 3 inches of snow, and was also a burn on him having a tiny dick.)
• "Just to clarify from last week, I have a tiny dick." (also funny because he stands up there and reads them)
• "I thought I signed up for the 8 o'clock league" (funny because he never starts on time)
• "Need better trivia questions, there's an app for that." (funny because he sucks at writing questions and he has an i-phone that he uses every week)
  

Hey douche bag? Me? No the other one.......

I have long said that people from New York and Philadelphia are a**-holes when it comes to sports, last night on the Daily Show they did a beautiful story on this.

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Super bonus video day here:

Charlie Shows His Dance Moves - watch more funny videos

He's "that guy," and proud of it

I know I don't blog about the Olympics because I choose to ignore them completely. However, today after my first day back at work in 3 months, I just needed to do some good old-fashioned Internet time (ie PORN). I ran across this hilarious article proving that Michael Phelps is a douche bag. To the few people lucky enough to hear me speak on this subject, I have been arguing for months that I guarantee you Michael Phelps is a douche bag, and this proves it. As a side note, I bet every Olympic athlete is a douche bag, I mean why not be one?

Sweet Jebus Why?

Sometimes you wonder if you are surrounded by douche bag idiots that probably can't wipe their own a**. This usually happens to me every time I turn on the TV and see what the various stations are trying to show and call "entertainment." Usually the worst is found over at MTV. (Little known fact, the M stands for Music). They have crap after crap on it, I'm going to save you from going through the list because if you have heard of any of them or watch any of them, you should kill yourself. Now they are coming out with a new "reality" (I put reality is quotes because is it still really a reality show when it is scripted?) show.

WTF is this? They are going to have a show wherein straight guys (probably all douche bags) compete to be in some a**-hole from The Hills new entourage. Do people really want to be in anyone's entourage, let alone this guys? I have a crew of people that I pay to stalk my ex-wife, but I wouldn't really call it an entourage. I mean what self-respecting dude would want to be on TV and prance around sucking up to some other dude begging to be his friend.

Editor's note: I do not watch the Hills, but I know at least one avid reader of mine does, so I mean not to offend.

When you type in douche bag in Google Images, this is the second picture that comes up, hilarious. (I think I knew that guy in high school)