Too sad for cake....

I'm introducing a new section of Anger-Ranting, a weekly award given to who ever is too sad for cake for the week.

This week it goes to Ryan Seacrest of American Idol. I know I hate American Idol, and all but I rant on it often because I find it interesting how it has become such a cultural phenomena. I think may correlate American Idol to the earlier 2000s the way people correlate The Beatles to the mid to late 60s.

Now Seacrest is blaming Simon Cowell to the show's slight ratings drop.

• First off, they show still finished number one and had like a 1% percentage drop.
• Secondly, Seacrest went on to say that they judges are expandable, and they show may be better off with new hosts. If anyone is replaceable it is Seacrest. He is more replaceable than the guy who gets everyone's coffee. All Seacrest does is stands there and says we'll be right back after this commercial. The coffee guy at least knows how everyone likes there coffee.
• Seacrest thinks he is god's gift to hosting, a monkey could host that show.
• Know your place on the totem pole buddy. You do nothing. I don't see any of your personality oozing through and increasing the ratings.
  
• I blame the ratings drop to the fact that it is the same shitty show for the past 6 years, and people are getting tired of the same thing. The talent pool is also thinning. Logic would tell you that they best singers in America have already auditioned and been denied, and now all that is left is the scraps.
• Last I check Simon Cowell is one of the executive producers as well. Seacrest should watch his job. I heard there is a monkey at the zoo that is looking to move to Hollywood and get into hosting.

Sidenote: If I had started this last week Paris Hilton would have clearly won, but that all happened on Friday. How sad was that. I've been hauled off to prison from a court room plenty of times, never once crying for my mommy; crying for Superman, maybe, but never my mommy. Too sad......

Don't fall from your high horse

The other day Fox News (who I could anger-rant about on a daily basis) thought it was a good idea to put this crazy woman on to make personal attacks on the American Idol champion. She was saying that she hopes that Jordan Sparks does not win because she is "obese" and would set a bad example for our youngsters out there.

What?? First if this girl on American Idol is 17 years old, leave her alone she is just a kid. Secondly, she is not obese. Like another panelist on the program said, she is just "full figured and normal." She's not Skinny McSkinny who weights 100 pounds when wet. Thirdly, doesn't everyone in the media always complain that there are too many negative skinny role models for girls to look up to. Too many young girls are looking up to these celebrities who are too skinny and are then trying to do the same to their bodies and are jeopardizing their health in doing so.

I don't think many girls see "obese" celebrities and are like, "wow, I wish I were huge!"

The main point why would Fox News put on this nut-job on to bash any individual personally?? Who the hell are you to take personal attacks on anyone and call someone "obese"? I hope that fall from your high horse really stings.

Seriously People...Who Cares

Yet another angry rant on the beast that is American Idol. I know you're asking yourself, how can some one who doesn't even watch the show get so angry about it. Because I care about the well being of the American public and have a keen interest in what music is entering the average ear. (Mine being above average obviously).

The newest controversy is involving the contestant Sanjaya (congratulations on your name). Apparently he sucks but people keep voting for him. Now some fear that this will bring the end of American Idol. I think people are miss using the term "fear" I think they mean they are "hoping" this brings the end to American Idol.

Lets say he does suck (I'm sure he does) and he does win. So what? I pretty sure "America" could vote for a six-legged rat that just burped into the microphone and American Idol would still be the most watched show on television. Does it really matter? Those who I know that watch the show don't vote, by the end don't care who wins, and will watch it again next year.

(Warning I did some Wikipedia research for this next part, I promise I am not obsessed with this)The fact is that except for Kelly Clarkson and maybe Carrie Underwood, the winner has not had as much success as the runner(s)-up. Clay Aiken sold more than Ruben Studdard, Jennifer Hudson won an Academy Award and Fantasia did not, Daugherty has sold more records than last year's winner Taylor Hicks. SO who cares if this sucky singer wins; just don't go buy his record, but the record of your favorite (because they all come out with a CD anyways).

The real problem is that Americans wouldn't know good music if it bit them in the ass. (True story: Chris Martin from Coldplay once bit me in a Scottish bar and then I realized that Coldplay was a good band.) Most people will watch the show knowing that Sanjaya sucks but will forget about that this summer and then when his record comes out in the fall they buy it "because he won American Idol and must be good."

The other thing that angered me about this story is that Howard Stern is getting involved in this. Howerd Stern?? Do people still listen to that guy? Wow, thats sad. If I had satellite radio with thousands of channels, the last station I would listen to was the Howerd Stern station. I would listen to the white noise station or the the crying babies station before him. Why does Howard Stern care? Someone should be try a scheme to bring about the end of his "show." Oh wait, I think he's doing that fine by himself.

Well America my advice is watch whatever the hell you want on t.v., vote for whoever you want in whatever shitty reality series you watch, and listen to good music.