I Love Freedom

Only in America could a company like this even exist:



So you can just go there and rent a gun and do god knows what with it. I would hate to be a police officer assigned to a case if that that gun were ever used in a crime. You would have a list of hundreds of people who have rented that gun. This doesn't seem legal. God Bless America

Sports Time

It's been a while since I have done a Sports Rant, so here we go:

• If you didn't hate the NBA enough, the 3 trades that have occured the last two days will show you why it is horrible. All three trades featured an All-Star player being traded for bench0-warmers who are either going to be cut in the next week or are going to retire. All 3 trades only took place for money. Teams can't rebuild any more, they have to trade players so they can save money.
  
• The Bucks sucked next year, and will be worse next year without Jefferson or Villeneuva, and possibly without Sessions. Keep in mind I watched 2 games all year, so I actually have no idea who those players are. And they just selected some point guard from Italy. Fail.
• The Brewers are fu**ed big time. They have 3 starting pitchers, and one of those is Suppan. They are luckily still in second because everyone else in our division is losing too, but they have now lost the wild card to the Giants. (The same Giants who probably have the best starting pitching in the league, coincidence.....). I honestly don't know what they should do. They have no pitching in their farm system and there aren't any teams willing to part with any starters. The Brewers also don't want to trade away their future again this year. My personal choice to move Hardy and bring up Escobar or even trade Cameron now instead of losing him at the end of the season for nothing.
• Gamel and MCgehee should start everyday, no mater the pitching situations or matchup bull-s**t.
• I was watching Sports Center this moring and ended up watching it for an hour. The sad thing was that they covered 2 baseball games that entire hour; the Yankees game and the Mets game. The BRewers won a thirller, and there was nothing about it for the entire hour. They spend probably 20 minutes do some sh**ty mock draft for the NBA, spent 20 minutes on the Shaw trade (they actually had a piece on who was a bigger joker in the locker room, Shaq or LeBron), and then they spent 15 minutes on the USA beating Spain in soccer.............who gives a shit. 5 minutes of baseball..... this is America right?

Here is a funny bit from the COlbert Report, he has a funny joke about soccer and another one about Brett Favre.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Sport Report - Soccer, Tennis & Brett Favre
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Mark Sanford

Battle Rap

I had this video thrown my way by an associate, enjoy.

It's a hard knock life

I've been trying to unplug for awhile, and actually haven't turned on
my computer since last Wednesday. But, I had to blog about this. I
just got back from grabbing a couple afternoon drinks with a couple
friends in the beautiful weather, and since I have no summer job. At
this bar there was this old dude, probably 90-95, just loving life. He
had a beer and a shot in front of him, was smoking, and had a shirt on
that said "I (heart) hot moms." This guy is my new hero, just loving
life while he can. He is more alive at 90, then most people are at 30.

PS the Brewers are f**ked and will bein 3rd place by Friday. Full post
coming tomorrow if I turn on my computer.

Sent from my iPhone

Wait for it...........

It's official b**ches!!!




That's right! As of 2 minutes from now, I will be unemplyed until September 2nd! Suck it!

Upgrade time b**ches!

So I decided to upgrade the old whip tonight. I was going to wait to do this during the summer, when I am technically unemployed. However, the old girl has been struggling as of late, and I feared it could curl up and die at any point. Here she is on her last day:
So over the weekend I just spent a lot of time with her and made her as comfortable as possible and pulled the trigger today. Before I went in I decided that it wouldn't feel right to trade her in and have someone else drive the old girl, so I did the following:
Then I went into the dealership and got a pretty good deal on a new KIA Spectra. It now features automatic doors and windows, but since it is a KIA, you still have to wind it up in the back to start it in the morning. I got a few added features, and here is the final product:

Crisis Averted? Maybe

Most of you probably didn't even notice, but the long awaited digital tv conversion took place on Friday. Most of you didn't notice, because you would have to be a complete and utter idiot to not have been prepared for it. They postponed it, there are multiple commercials a day about it, the President spoke about it, their have been articles and full page ads in the newspaper, there are coupons available to get a converter easily, if you have cable it doesn't affect you, if you bought a tv in the last 2 years it doesn't affect you, and there have been tests on the local news to see if you are ready for the switch.

Despite all this there are many people who freaked out about it and are worried of a coming armegedon or even a government conspiracy at work. Here is a good blog that looks at the idiocy of the conversion problems on Friday.

Digital Conversion PSA - watch more funny videos

Classy

So I was a celebrity bartender last night at my local watering hole. Many of my readers have been there before, and some are lucky enough to have been there on a Friday night, so you may find this story believable.

Now, I've been working or going there for drinks for 12-13 years, so I have seen many a things there. The old story goes that on a Friday night, at least one bizarre thing happens that you will not see at another bar any where in the city.

On time a guy came in and looked around for a minute, went up to order some food togo and then pulled a lit cigarette out of his pocket and asked for the closest way to the freeway. The bartender replied "I can tell you the quickest way to get the f**k out of here. Me kicking your a** out of that door right behind you."

I found out last night that every Friday night around 7-7:30 there is this guy who comes in and walks around for almost 5 minutes looking like he is looking for someone he is supposed to meet, then grab a copy of The Onion, and then leaves. This has been going on every Friday for almost 4 months.

Last night around 7:30, a trashy family came in; mom, dad, grandma (in her 50s or 60s) and their kid, probably about 1 years old. The woman was also noticeably pregnant herself. We though to ourselves, alright another classic white-trash family bringing their young child and unborn child to a bar. Wouldn't be the first time. Then a few minutes we notice that the pregnant woman is drinking a beer. WTF? Apparently this women has not read a medical journal in the last 30 years. This might not be the best idea. I am still holding out that the woman was not pregnat even though she pretty much looked like this or this. THe other kicker was that this family didn't just quickly eat and get out of there to get their young child home, they stayed around for almost 2 hours, and at one point the dad brought the kid up to the bar so he (the dad not the kid) could smoke. Darwin was wrong.

When they left I looked over to the other bartender and just said "Stay Classy San Diego."

That is an example of the bad side affects of drinking, here is an example of the positive side affects.

Define "serious"

So at work whenever I send out e-mails to all my coworkers I always pepper them with subtle dry humor and references to a dark social life outside of work. Just today I sent out an e-mail about an end of the year social gathering for everyone. I laid subtle hints of consuming 15 beers, and said my idea of a party was a block of cheese, a box of wine, and my parents' basement. After I sent it out a coworker, who I know, came up to me and said "If someone reads that e-mail and doesn't know you, they will think you have some serious emotional problems."

To which I replied, "Well, if they knew me, they would know that I have some serious emotional problems."

If you haven't seen this clip, it is unbelievable. If I didn't have such serious emotional problems and went to be at 10 every night I may have seen this.



I have no idea how Zack Morris did that whole thing with a straight face, I would have been cracking up. Sidenote: In college we played a drinking game called "A**hole," but we incorporated Saved By the Bell Characters in it instead of President, Vice President, etc. Great times.

After thoughts

So after watching the Brewers lose today, I had a few thoughts.

• Their offense is coming together, and they should have won.
• Prince is looking like he did 2 years ago when he was 3rd in MVP ballots and Braun is looking like he did last year when he finished 3rd in MVP ballots. If they can stay there....
• What happened to Corey Hart, he is quickly turning into Jenkins. A good outfielder, who occasionally hits a home run, but otherwise just strikes out.
• I fear that Parra is close to becoming Rick Ankiel. HE has good stuff, but is just messed up in the head. He either goes 3 up and 3 down in an inning, or if anyone gets on base, he gives up at least 2 runs. He needs to get his head together quickly and once again see that he has good stuff. He is the opposite of Gallardo. Gallardo can have bases loaded, and he keeps his cool and gets guys out, no worries. Maybe Parra should have a few beers before the game to calm his nerves. The next 2 starts are going to be important for his long term psychy.
• Why did Macha go with Villeneuva today? Villeneuva had pitched in 4 straight games. I know he hasn't given up a run in a while and might be the best we got out of the pen, but we should have gone with McClung, Difelice or someone who has more rest. Villeneuva may have lost the game, but I do not blame him, he has been over-worked.
• Good to hear Gamel is playing everyday at 3rd, but Hall once again proved his worth last night when he was pushed to play centerfield. If only there was a way we could get him to hit the ball again? *cough*Steroids*cough*
  
• All in all, they are doing okay, let's win a few more in the next few weeks and get a 4-5 game lead.

Here is a cool new song I have been listening to this weekend. (Embedding was disabled, which I hate how you can do that on Youtube now.

Pass

SO this weekend in Milwaukee is the "unofficial kick off of Summer," with RiverSplash down at the Milwaukee River. The paper had articles all week and the news previewed it all week, pushing that it is a great event for the whole family. It is free, it's downtown, and there are fun things to do with local music. Need I remember what happened down there last year. SOmeone got shot and other shots were fired in an area with a couple thousand people per block. The article says that it was so busy down there that it took over an hour to walk two blocks. No thank you.

I refused to go to RiverSplash before that, and definetely refuse to go after that. What do they expect to happen when they have a free festival in downtown Milwaukee where alcohol flows? This is Milwaukee, of course someone is going to be shot. It's sick how all week they are tauting it as a safe, fun time for the whole family.

After the first night they even had to have an article in the paper that everything went fine, nothing stupid happened. Last night was Friday so it first started at 5, today it goes all day and it might rain, alcohol + music + bad weather + all day = something stupid. Sign me up.

On Friday a lot of people asked me at work if I was going to RIverSplash, and I told them all "no." They followed by asking why? "It's a fun time, especially for a young guy like you?" Fun? Fun? If I want to have a fun time I will buy a bottle of scotch, go into my basement, and throw bottles against the wall.

Fake Bake

So I went to Brewers' game yesterday and it was a good time (despite the company). Before the game we tailgated outside for about 2 hours. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I burned the s**t out of myself. I really didn't even notice until I was getting ready to go to sleep at night. This morning my skin on my arms and face were red as a lobster. It turns out it burns quite a bit as well. I ended up put some cortizone cream on my arms and face throughout the day. It just kept reminding me of that scene from Silence of the Lambs.



An interesting side note: Buffalo Bill was played by Ted Levine in an incredibly disturbing role. Then about 12 years later he began his role as the lead detective on Monk. These couldn't be two more opposite roles. You would never guess it is the same actor only 12 years apart.