Let's play a game

Let's play again here, see if you can spot the differences in the movies from the two trailers below. These movies were made 20 years apart but are basically the same thing.





Here is a synopsis of Gamer and a synopsis of The Running Man.

• Both movies are about convicted fellons fighting each other for their freedom, in theory.
• Both take place in the near future when the world has changed, the economy has collapsed, and violence and chaos reign.
• Both "games" are run by a ruler like man, Richard Dawson in Running Man and Michael C. Hall in Gamer.
• I am guaranteeing you that in Gamer it will turn out that Gerard Butler is innocent of his crime, just like in Running Man.
• Just like in Running Man, the ruler like man will do whatever it takes to make sure no one ever "wins" and gets out, even if he has to cheat.
• Gerard Butler is quickly turning into the next Schwarzenegger. (Future Governor??) He is known for making these ridiculous action movies that take no acting skills and even have very few lines (300??) and then gets praised as this great actor. He then tries his hand at a comedy (The Ugly Truth) and fails miserably. Both are from a foreign country (Butler is from Scotland)
• I am really having a hard time finding differences in these movies except one is a tv show and the other is a video game.

I know hollywood has run out of ideas, but come on.

Weekend Redux

Another eventful weekend with a few spots of interest.

On Friday I had some beers at a bar while watching the Brewers lose again. On the way out I saw a car parked as humanly close as possible to the car in front of them. The funny thing is that each car had plenty of room in front of them, see below:



On Saturday there was a street festival down were I live. They close off the street for about a mile and there is food, beer, and music all day. The down side is that it tends to bring yuppy f**ks from all over the city to a small neighborhood that they are not used to. Our group of friends spent8 hours sitting outside at the same bar, which is either bad-ass or sad. We had everything we needed there; food, beer, a place to sit, and we were still right by the action to see all the idiots when they walked by. The day was uneventful until walking home after the event and I saw a lady yelling at a tow truck driver about towing her car. He is just doing his job, you shouldn't park where you are not suppossed to park. Lesson learned.

On Sunday I went to the Brewer's game (no comment). After the game we went to grab a bite to eat. On the television was "The Jay Glazer Show" on Fox SPorts. It is a sad commentary that someone decided to give this guy his own half hour show to have diarhea of the mouth, in which he never makes any sense. We debated if he ever played football, so I decided to go to Wikipedia and found the following awesome quote, which has since been removed:

"Jay also knows nothing about football and he sucks dick for beer money. he's never played a game of football in his life so he should not be commenting on the sport period. plus the only thing that he should be good at which is MMA he does nothing but get his ass kicked (glazer vs jackson 2003) so jay for the love of god shut your mouth and do us a favor go kill yourself and leave oxygen for the people that really matter."

That is the greatest Wikipedia entry ever. Thank you.

What a rush!

So some of you may already read this article about a high school student dieing. They were playing this new "game" called space monkey. Sounds like fun doesn't it. Oh wait, it involved putting a plastic bag over your head until you pass out. Other variations involve people choking each other or sitting on someone's chest until they can't breathe. Wow, you thought the future generation was f**ked before..........

Now,I have done some stupid s**t before in my time, but I don't think it would have ever crossed my mind to maybe put a bag over my head until I pass out. Or, "hey EdGrimley, would you mind sitting on my chest for a while until I can't breathe. I'm trying to get a rush."

What ever happened like huffing spray paint?




Editor's Note: EdGrimley may already be dead, he has not posted a blog in 2 weeks. I know this Michael Jackson thing hit him hard, but now I starting to get worried.

Crisis Averted? Maybe

Most of you probably didn't even notice, but the long awaited digital tv conversion took place on Friday. Most of you didn't notice, because you would have to be a complete and utter idiot to not have been prepared for it. They postponed it, there are multiple commercials a day about it, the President spoke about it, their have been articles and full page ads in the newspaper, there are coupons available to get a converter easily, if you have cable it doesn't affect you, if you bought a tv in the last 2 years it doesn't affect you, and there have been tests on the local news to see if you are ready for the switch.

Despite all this there are many people who freaked out about it and are worried of a coming armegedon or even a government conspiracy at work. Here is a good blog that looks at the idiocy of the conversion problems on Friday.

Digital Conversion PSA - watch more funny videos

New Game

On my drive home tonight I invented a new game, guess who's on their cell phone. You can tell just by how someone is driving if they are talking on their phone. So during my whole drive home tonight I tried guessing who was on their phone and then caught up with them and found out if they were.

Just some of the things I saw:

• Someone driving 45 in the fast lane on the freeway
  
• Someone slowed down to 25 becuase they were in the left-hand lane and they needed to exit -woops)
• Someone who left their blinker on for 5 blocks after turning
• Someone who sat at an intersection throughout the enitrre 15 second turn arrow.
• Someone who went straight through a red light because the turn arrow turned green
• Someone came within 6 inches of running over a family of ducks crossing the parkway, this despite two cars in front of them had actually already stopped. (This person went around them, thinking they had stopped for no reason).

Guess what, they were all on their phones.

Some notes

The other day I had this commercial about something being released on January 19th. The commercial was vague and did not say anything, hence horrible marketing and a waste of money.

On January 19th they had this follow up commercial:


What? That commercial literally makes no sense. So LeBron James is going to play in the NFL (I know it is a joke) and this should be a reason that I should go buy insurance? What? I have seen this 5 times and it still makes no sense. This whole marketing campaign is a waste of money, and I am sure LeBron James is not cheap.

There were two "incidents" (here and here) this weekend at screenings of the Notorious B.I.G. movie. If you need more proof that Obama becoming President really changes nothing, see this. It is utterly sad that s**t like this still happens in a "civilized" country like America. I went a=and saw 3 different movies this weekend, and nothing stupid happened at them (except for the obvious "popcorn trick")

Finally here is a little video showing that Forrest Gump and Benjamin Button are the same movie. It's funny because they really are the same thing; in one the guy is mentally handicapped and in the other he is physically handicapped.

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

Award Season Continued

So apparently Larry the Cable Guy has some competition for the greatest actor of our generation. Larry the Cable Guy comes out with hit after hit. Yet today Kevin James came out with a beauty: Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Written, directed, produced, and starring Kevin James. You n=know it is a hit. Watch this trailer:



Wow, does that look like a P.O.S. Anyone who sees this should really consider doing society a favor and killing yourself. After seeing that, there is no way that you could positively contribute to society. I guarantee there is at least 1 toilet scene in there. Fat guy, trying to protect a mall all night, it has to lead up to a toilet scene.

The saddest thing about all this is that somehow the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel gave it 2 1/2 stars. WTF? Once again proofing why the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel is written by uneducated idiots.

Idiots? I think so.......

Sometimes you read stories about idiots, and then sometimes you read stories about complete idiots. Here is a story from Monday's Journal Sentinel (was also on Monday's news). Basically this group of young people went up to an old lady and tried to convince her that they new her and tried to relate to a problem the old lazy is having in her life. They just want her address so they can mail her some flowers for sympathy. As soon as the lady gives her the address, the young people plan on going to her house and robbing her, because they know she is not home. These young people probably do this to people all time but most people don't fall for it. This lady did. These young people probably thought they would get a little cash and some jewelry, this old lady had $100,000 lying around. For shame. My guess is that we are going to see many copy cat crimes like this in the near future.

Also, if you do not know about the digital switch that is occuring to TVs in 2 weeks, you are an idiot. It is on the bottom of the screen during every TV show, it has been in the paper, I heard it on the radio, I got something in the mail, etc. Sadly there are extreme idiots that still don't understand it. It is as simply as if you use an antenna, you need a converter box. Period. If you have cable or satellite, you are fine. Yet yesterday on the news there was a 15 minute piece about what to do and who needs a converter box or not. Couldn't they just say, "Look at your TV, if there are two metal sticks coming out of the top of it in a V shape, those are antennas, you need to buy a converter box." The news even went as far as having a little test at the end of the program. If you are safe you saw a "Passed the test" image, and if you are not safe, you saw static. They then came back and explained what to do if you saw static. They then went on to ask people are safe to ask their friends and family members if they need help understanding the digital switch, and then helping them. If any of my friends and family need help understanding this, or are not ready, I will take them out back and put them out of their misery.

Are you packin?

I'm sure by now we have all heard about Plaxico Burress and him shooting himself in the leg after bringing a gun to the club. Well, now it is getting more complex. Apparently he didn't want to go to the hospital because they have to notify the police, and he does not have the permit for the gun (big shocker).

What's the deal with having to carry a weapon into the club anyways. Earlier this year two Marquette University girls were arrested for stabbing someone outside a club. I don't get it? What ever happened to the old fashioned way of getting back at someone by slowly seeking revenge on them buying destroying them piece by piece over the years?

Dumb It Down

Army of One Parody
I have noticed recently that people tend to dumb things down thinking that the person that they are talking to is a complete idiot, when in fact they are the one who is an idiot.

Take these two situations I have been in this week:

• We had a meeting after work on Wednesday in which we were being trained on this new program on the computer that allows us to log in and see a calendar of events, psot messages, respond to messages, instant message other employees, etc. BAsically an online community. The pace they were going at was ridiculous. It took them 15 minutes to show us how to open the Internet, go to the website and log in. I was so bored with it, I took some stuff out and started correcting papers. One of the people walking around helping those who needed help, came up to me and ask if this was too fast for me and that's why I was not paying attention. "No, you are going at a pace that a dim-witted monkey could understand, please leave me alone."
• My dad is having difficulties with his computer so I told him I would come over and call Dell tech support. I got on the phone with 'Sean" (some Indian dude I could barely understand) who took 5 minutes asking me to make sure the computer is plugged in. He said, often times, it might not be plugged in. Other ideas he had were: maybe the monitor is turned off, maybe it is on and working but in sleep mode, have you tried resetting it, and other stupid ideas. It took 40 minutes before he came to the conclusion that maybe something is wrong and we could take it in for servicing.

DUMB IT DOWN!

What time is it

So last night I decided to go see Burn After Reading (Okay, not the Coen Brothers' best, but better than most of the crap that comes out nowadays). So the movie starts at 7:50, so I plan that I should be there by 7:40, give me time to get a ticket, get to the theater and sit down, and nowadays they start about 5 minutes early because of all the commercials that start even before the previews. So I get into my seat at 7:40, and there are 10 other people in the theater. I sit down and get comfortable (take my pants off). When the theater goes dark around 7:48 there are maybe 20 people there now. However, through the next 15 minutes (through the previews and the first 5 miutes of the movie) about 100 people end up coming into the theater. I have to stand up 6 times to let people in and now there are people in front of me, and I can't even enjoy the first 5 minutes of the movie because there are all kinds of people moving around getting to their seats.

How difficult is it in todays world to know when a movie starts and get there on time? It makes me sick how much people don't care about getting to anything on time anymore. If I owned the theater I wouldn't let anyone in the movie after the lights go down, too late. We have your money, but you don't get to see the movie, too sad.

I want it, and I want it now

I had a whole 0ther idea for a totally different post, but driving home today I saw human beings doing something that really got my juices flowing. I was driving home and saw an incredibly long line, meaning out the door and around the corner, outside of Chipotle. There must have been close to 100 people in line, and this was at 7:00, not even really dinner time. Most of the people in line seemed to be college age. My only guess is that CHipotle was having some kind of free give away to mark the beginning of the semester. My guess is that it was something like, come in wearing some school spirit and get a free burrito.

This weekend I just had a conversation with a buddy of mine about waiting in lines. We both came to the agreement, that waiting in lines for pretty much anything is stupid, and a waste of my time and patience.

I got to thinking about what it would take for me to wait in line for a free $6 burrito. It looked like that line was bordering being nearly 1 hour long. What would it take for me to wait an hour for a free burrito. If I had any sense of personal respect, and any part-time job that paid me more than $6 an hour, there would be no logical reason to wait an hour for a free burrito. I could just work for an hour and earn money and go buy my own food without the line. However, I do not think most people think this way, they just think "hey, free, usually over-priced, food. I'm there."

My advice is to "get a job sir."

Proof is in the pudding

Finally someone else of a respectable status agrees with me and is angry as me about those stupid Croc Shoes. Croc Shoes have been on my dead to me for a while now, and I kind of forgot about my anger over them, but now that summer is here and more and more people are wearing them, my anger had been rising. Now Newsweek (a nationally respected magazine) wrote an article about how stupid the are. That article also reverences this article warning women to never wear them. Both these articles do a great job of summarizing my anger over these stupid shoes into words.

Hey ma, look at me

After going to the baseball game yesterday and watching it today on the television set, I know how stupid people will act to get their face on tv for like 2 seconds. Yesterday at the game they were talking to some women as the fan of the game and had her on the scoreboard then this dude was jumping in front of her so he could get on the scoreboard too for 2 seconds. In between every inning they scan the crowd showing idiots just acting nuts and doing whatever they can to get shown on camera for 2 seconds. Then today during the game they continually scanned the crowd with more people acting stupid and holding up signs begging to be put on camera. Throughout the game a family directly behind home plate were constantly on the cell phones and waving. "Hey aunt Cheryl, look we on tv, that's me waving my hand and not paying attention the game."

I suggest if you want to be on tv, do it the old fashion way..... through some kind of hostage situation or crime spree.

Sad moments in human history......

Somebody has been reading too many books and thought they had a good idea....

A local-Milwaukee idiot thought he had a great idea, fake like you are having a heart attack every time you have to pay a bill. So he faked a heart attack to not pay the cab driver, then faked a heart attack to get out of a bill at a restaurant. Didn't this guy realize that someone might call 911 if a customer is having a heart attack. Did he actually think they would be like "oh, you're having a heart attack, don't worry about the bill..... have a great night."

Two sad parts of the story are

1. He has done this in the past and has a restraining order from Famous Dave's and George Webb. (Even I don't have a restraining order from a restaurant.)
   
2. They found $350 at his house, but he told police he didn't bring it along because he "didn't plan on needing it." I'm not a lawyer, but they sounds like a premeditated crime. Sad.
   

This whole thing is very similar to a book (soon to be movie) called Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. It is probably his best book after Fight Club. Its about a guy who is bored with his life so he goes to restaurants and fakes that he is choking until another customer comes over and helps him. He then through reverse psychology convinces these same "heroes" to send him money at a later time.

The real irony will be when the man does actually die of a heart attack.

Dumb it Down

So yesterday I was out and about driving around taking care of some "business." It was a nice day and I was in the mood for a shake. I decided to go run into a McDonalds since they are on every corner and their shakes are actually pretty good. It's been a long time since I had been in one, but my god have they dumb-downed the menu. All that is on the menu now is pictures and prices, I don't think there was one word on the thing. The menu just had pictures of all their different combo meals and then pictures of the items on their dollar menu. I don't know if it is still even possible to get regular ala carte items there, I think you have to get everything in combos. How sad is it when we have to put pictures up for everyone instead of words? Who's educating these people? Sad.

Think People

Every so often (actually too often) you hear about a story that really makes you wonder if people even think at all. Recentyly there was this story in which a high school in San Diego was trying to teach the students about the dangers and aftermath of drunk driving.

To teach the students about the real personal affects of drunk driving they went around the school and told all the students a few students were killed by a drunk driver the night before. Brillant. This might be the stupidest f**king idea I have ever heard off. I can't believe so many people went along with it and are still defending it. If I was a teacher in that school there is no way I would allow that to be carried out in my classroom. Period. Everyone who went along with this should feel ashamed of themselves.

This reminded of an episode of The Office this year in which Michale decides to fake fire Stanley to teach him a lesson. Everyone in the office tries to tell him it is a horrible idea but he does it anyways. When he does it, it backfires and Stanley goes off on him telling him how horrible of a boss he is and that he is going to take him to court. The only difference was that was on television and was funny, this is real and horrific.

Labels

I was flipping channels tonight trying to find something to watch that wouldn't make me angrier. (a losing battle) I stopped for about 3 minutes on some stupid reality game show on Fox waiting for House to come on (which it never did). They were asking the guy what he did for a living. He said he was a bartend, then he paused and then said "and I'm a musician." Just because you played s**tty emo songs about how sensitive you are in an effort to get your girlfriend back, doesn't make you a musician.



It's seems like "musician" is one of the only labels one can give themself. Just because I once removed my own tonsels, I'm not allowed to call myself a doctor. Just because my ex-wife you to sleep with anyone, I wouldn't call myself a pimp. If you want to call yourself a musician you actually have to make music that other people would want to listen to, and will actually pay you to listen to. So therefore most of "popular music" is excluded, especially every American Idol winner ever.

Writer's Block (again)

I am always amazed with the s**tty caliber of movies each year outside of a handful of movies. The majority of movies that come out are down right awful. Is it really that difficult to write a movie that someone with half a brain would be interested in seeing? Apparently it is.

I ran into this little nugget about a new movie deal that was signed. They are going to make movies about a handful of Hasbro board games. Are you kidding me? Board games? Video game movies are awful and always star The Rock or Vin Diesel. I can only imagine how awful these movies will be. Sadly all these movies have been made already.

• Monopoly (Wall Street)
• Candy Land (Willy Wonka)
• Battleship (Crimson Tide and Hunt for Red October)
• Magic (Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter)
• Stretch Armstrong (Inspector Gadget
• Ouji (Poltergeist)

Anyone who has any part of these movies (on camera or behind camera) needs to be shot in the face and anyone who sees these movies needs to drown to death. You all have nothing better to do with your time or money? Sad.