So far, so.............okay

So far this winter (oh wait, it's still technically Fall), Mother Nature hasn't been too bad on us. Yes, it has snowed twice in 3 days, but both times it wasn't as bad as predicted. On Sunday night and Monday morning we were originally predicted to get 8-10 inches, and ended up without about 2 (kind of like EdGrimley's wedding night). Then today we were supposed to get up to 4, and so far have only gotten about 2 inches (knock on wood).

I guess it has something to do with lake effect, Canadaien air, gulf streams, yada yada yada. I don't get science, what has it ever done for me.

P.S. My arm has been really hurting me this week, I am going to the hospital, I really hope medical science can help me.

It's getting closer than we think

Check this out:

I'm telling you Planet Of the Apes was not science fiction. They are one step closer to taking over the world. LEt's see their check list so far.

• Have Hollywoode make a series of "Science Fiction" movies about their plan, so the humans think it would never happen. (Check)
• Have Marky Mark make a remake, to have the next generation see the simplicity of the plan. (Check)
• Have bears become godless killing machines and wreak havoc around the country, taking the humans' eyes off the real threat, apes. (Check)
• Have adorable squirrels begin doing reconasaince around the country. (Check)
• Have monkeys start becoming waiters and take away human jobs. (Chceck)
• Have moneky waiters start infilitrating humans' food supply. (????)
• With humans poisoned, General Thade takes off his the Former President George W. Bush mask and shows the world who has really been running the country. (any day now)
• With General Thade at the front of a massive ape army and the humans demobilized because of the monkey waiter poisonings and Americas crippled economy, the apes take over the world.

Not such an entertaining little science fiction movie now is it?

The next banned substance:

Also today on my day off I read an interesting article from Monday's Journal Sentinel about the effects of baking soda on athletes. Apparently ingesting baking soda can increase one's running speed with minimal side effects (including diarrhea and stomach pains). I can see Barry Bonds trying to make a comeback now and have Jose Canseco create lines of baking soda for him on the clubhouse toilet seats. I'm not a scientist but I am not sure how this would work scientifically. Baking soda is very acidic and creates the volcanoes for uncreative 4th graders entering a science fair.

I'm not fat, I'm big-boned

I have always kept a careful eye on the obese members of our society and people always thought I was crazy. For years I said that these people were up to something and had a grand plan to all their weight gain. Now there have been studies showing that obesity can lead to dementia later in life. I'm not a science man but to me this seems like a bit of a stretch and even a little bit of a cop-out. Then again, maybe I can use this to my advantage down the line. It's not my fault that I went crazy and killed all those hookers, my parents fed me too much as a child and I suffered from childhood obesity. Excellent, I know a few lawyers who are always looking for some loopholes in our legal system.