It's getting closer than we think

Check this out:

I'm telling you Planet Of the Apes was not science fiction. They are one step closer to taking over the world. LEt's see their check list so far.

• Have Hollywoode make a series of "Science Fiction" movies about their plan, so the humans think it would never happen. (Check)
• Have Marky Mark make a remake, to have the next generation see the simplicity of the plan. (Check)
• Have bears become godless killing machines and wreak havoc around the country, taking the humans' eyes off the real threat, apes. (Check)
• Have adorable squirrels begin doing reconasaince around the country. (Check)
• Have monkeys start becoming waiters and take away human jobs. (Chceck)
• Have moneky waiters start infilitrating humans' food supply. (????)
• With humans poisoned, General Thade takes off his the Former President George W. Bush mask and shows the world who has really been running the country. (any day now)
• With General Thade at the front of a massive ape army and the humans demobilized because of the monkey waiter poisonings and Americas crippled economy, the apes take over the world.

Not such an entertaining little science fiction movie now is it?

Thursday Break

It's Thursday, it's cold, it's time for some videos:


Republicans are funny.


White kids are funny.


This is sweet because they are an awesome band, they're playing outside, and they're playing on the fire escape behind the Hello Deli.

Back to work.

Let's not go America on your a**

Looks like rival blogger EdGrimley really does hate freedom.

You think you're emo

Now this is emo:

Ebony vs Ivory

So I was watching the TV again after work and saw a preview on Comedy Central for some new sketch comedy show called "Chocolate News." Its hosted and starring David Alan Grier. Not really the most cutting edge stuff. The guy is 53 years old and I bet most people forgot he was famous for being on In Living Color.

However this is not a rant about the show (it should be pretty self-explanatory about why this show will suck). This is a rant about the commercial for the show that had some quotes from newspaper reviews. One was from the New York Post: "Funniest thing since Chappele." Why do they have to compare it to the only other black comedian sketch comedy show that has come out. WHy not compare it to Carlos Mencia or any comedy show. "Funniest show since Friends" (the whitest show I can think of).

What's funny about this is that I didn't even realize he was black until I looked it up. Look at some of the movies he has appeared in: Stuart Little, The Bonnie Hunt Show, Return to Me, Angels in the Infield, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Bewitched, these are some of the whitest movies ever. To quote Chappele "he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X."

As a side note I saw this Holiday Inn commercial that is funny:


It's funny because white people are different from black people.

Animal Parts for sale

This morning I turned on the news for background noise while I got ready for work (trying to block out all the screaming). I over heard an odd story that said that Ebay was going to ban the sale of ivory starting January of 2009. Wait hold on? So it is currently legal to sell ivory on Ebay? Isn't it pretty much illegal to sell ivory anywhere?

This article gets into more details. According to the article over a six week period there were 7,000 posts offering body parts of endangered wild life (apparently panda ears are popular). This just seems to be bizarre to me. Who goes on the Internet looking to score something from a wild animal?

Also interesting about the story is that this won't take effect until January of 2009. Why the wait? Is there that much traffic in this currently that banning it now would affect their profits? Sadly probably yes.

Leave Me Alone

In case you missed this, Ringo Starr has posted on his website/ blog that he is no longer accepting any fan mail or requests for autographs. I can understand wanting your piece and quite (I get 300-400 letters of fan mail* a week). But this guy would be nothing without his fans. The Beatles were the biggest thing ever in America at the time. They made a mark on society and music. The fact remains that many experts did not think they were that great originally, and bet that they would not make it. But, becuase of their fans, they rose up and became the biggest phenomena ever. Since the Beatles, there is no reason Ringo should be anything, but his fans have stayed loyal, and helped him afford the lifestyle he lives. He will also be missing opportunities like Giambi above and here, here, or here.

So going along with Ringo I am making the following demands to my fans:

• I will no longer come over for late night parties with rooms full of women
• I will no longer answer any fan mail, e-mails, voice mails, smoke signals, or bat signals.
  
• I will no longer stand outside of your windom on Thanksgiving night while your family eats dinner.
• I will no longer call your house late at night and breathe heavily into the phone
• I will no longer stand outside of your window late at night in the rain blasting Peter Gabriel out of my stereo.
  

*By fan mail I mean letters demanding money and death threats.