Video Time

I blogged in the past about the potential of a new Comedy Central show, Michael & Michael Have Issues. Now it has aired 3 episodes, and they had this clip that is hilarious, although it does hit a little close to home for me.

Michael & Michael Have Issues	Wed 10:30pm / 9:30c
Break-Up Sweatpants
www.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

If you've lost all faith in humanity, especially in the future generations (I know I have), watch this video that was on ESPN over the weekend. I can't embed it, so you have to go over to ESPN to watch it, but it is worth it.

Also, I am a little happier today, and have a little more faith in humanity, after reading this story about how poorly T.O.'s "reality show" is doing. It tied with a 2 am episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Awesome.

Sweet Jebus Why?

Sometimes you wonder if you are surrounded by douche bag idiots that probably can't wipe their own a**. This usually happens to me every time I turn on the TV and see what the various stations are trying to show and call "entertainment." Usually the worst is found over at MTV. (Little known fact, the M stands for Music). They have crap after crap on it, I'm going to save you from going through the list because if you have heard of any of them or watch any of them, you should kill yourself. Now they are coming out with a new "reality" (I put reality is quotes because is it still really a reality show when it is scripted?) show.

WTF is this? They are going to have a show wherein straight guys (probably all douche bags) compete to be in some a**-hole from The Hills new entourage. Do people really want to be in anyone's entourage, let alone this guys? I have a crew of people that I pay to stalk my ex-wife, but I wouldn't really call it an entourage. I mean what self-respecting dude would want to be on TV and prance around sucking up to some other dude begging to be his friend.

Editor's note: I do not watch the Hills, but I know at least one avid reader of mine does, so I mean not to offend.

When you type in douche bag in Google Images, this is the second picture that comes up, hilarious. (I think I knew that guy in high school)

Summer of George?

Every so often I sit and wonder "Why is it that the rest of the world hates Americans?" Then a see a preview for some of the shows premiering on ABC this summer:





This looks horribly awful. Lets what a bunch of idiot Americans bounce around on s**t and embarrass themselves for money.

Here's a longer sneak peak if you still are wondering how awful this will be.


I thought the contestants were bad but what's with those annoying and idiotic announcers trying to be clever and funny. Anyone who watches this show needs to reconsider their life. Is it really worth living?

Post-Note: I also saw a preview for a game show called "I Survived a Japanese Game Show." (I'm not kidding, but I couldn't find a clip yet) On this show they take contestants to Japan and put them on a physical-type gameshow there. Horrible. Now not only are we embarassing ourselves and our good name, we are nmaking fun of other cultures on public TV. How about this game show "I Survived a Severe Beating By Chopper" or "I Survived 10 Years after America Ran Out of Oil" or even "I Survived 8 Years of George W Bush." Those I would watch.

Looking forward to this

This is the time of the year that I start bragging that I will soon (4 weeks) be off for the entire summer. Just me and my thoughts for the whole summer, look out world. It's one of the many pleasures of my profession.

Then last night I saw a few previews for TV shows airing this summer and I wondered if I should brag about sitting at home and watching this crap. Here is one in particular:



They will film anything with celebrities doing it. They had that terrible show with celebritities as police officers (Thankfully it was cancelled after 2 episodes). Now this circus crap. How about a reality show of an entire town filled with washed-up celebrities having to run everything in the town. Some of them have to be teachers, some have to be doctors, some have to lawyers, some have to be garbage men, and each week they have contests to see who can be mayor. Now that I would watch; getting to see the guy who player Urkel perform open-heart surgery on Christian Slater...classic.

Why are we allowing this?

I was lying around today trying to shake off a hangover and saw the following commercial on ABC:


Why are we allowing this?

First, can you believe they are still making new seasons of the Bachelor? I guess this is season 12 of this garbage? No "winner" of this show has ever ended up with the guy for longer than 6 months. It's pretty much just a means for people to get on TV and act all cool and hip in front of millions of housewives across the country.

Secondly, why are we allowing some British dude over here for this? Did they run out of American men that were willing to look like an idiot on TV? I doubt it. There's the line in which the guy says: "I'm here to steal your women?" What? Sure, you can come here and steal my ex-wife, but all our women? This reality show actually looks like a cover for phase one of Great Britain invading America and finally getting their revenge for The Revolutionary War.

DO NOT WATCH THIS.

Jury Duty

Seeing that all my rival bloggers are blogging about Jury Duty I thought I would enter into the realm.

I was getting my car looked at last Monday when I was off and they had a TV on in the waiting room. Since I am full employed (no offense Snow.Man) I rarely see daytime TV. Wow does it suck. They had a TV program on called Jury Duty. It was just like all those other shotty daytime court room dramas; 2 plaintiffs arguing over something stupid, a loud mouth judge, and stupid verdicts. This show has a catch thought. First check out there website and then I'll wait for you to stop laughing...... That's right they have celebrities as the Jury, washed up celebrities. No one cares what you think, why would I want you to help settle who should pay the $40 to get my oil change. I'm not too sure some of these people are even celebrities. Nowadays I think they could put anyone on TV and just say, "Oh this is John Smith from that 80s hit show, don't you remember him?"

Terrible TV.

I was right...

Back in May I ranted about this terrible idea for a new reality show on CBS called Kid Nation. By now you may have seen commercials for this program on television. It turns out that yes it is a terrible idea for a show and maybe America has become smart enough to realize this. I read in the newspaper today that many advertisers are pulling out of the show even before it airs because they feel that CBS is exploiting kids for ratings. Oh wait that is exactly what I ranted about months ago. To counteract this CBS has sent the entire series to advertisers so they can watch the whole things and see that these kids are not being exploited for ratings. Many people think there is a chance that the show will no longer ever see the light of day and will not air. I am betting that you will find some advertisers stupid enough to want to but time on the show and the show will air, but let's hope that America does not watch it and these advertisers, and CBS lose money on this.

Still going.....

In case the marathon NBA season has not been long enough (we might be blessed by having the Spurs sweep the Cavs to end this) ABC has started a reality series with Shaquile O'Neal. Shaq is running a fat camp for children in this reality series.

First off, who is their target market? I don't see the young, hip, urban youths that watch the NBA excited about watching Shaq help over weight kids lose weight. I don't see suburban housewives with overweight kids tolerating watching an hour long show of Shaq helping kids lose weight.

Also, why Shaq? That guy has like 5% body fat. That's just pure-unadulterated muscle on that frame. Shaq could probably eat a horse (rumor has it last Thanksgiving he ate an entire family of turkeys, a gaggle of geese, and a murder of crows) and I bet he would gain like 4 pounds, and would work that off walking his enormous body out to get the mail.

What's his advice to these kids, lift 350 pounds of weights daily and dominate the NBA for 12 years. You too can be an over-paid man-giant.

Reality tv is more of a joke than you thought

Okay so the networks are realising their new schedules for the coming fall this week. I always like to look at the new shows and see how ridiculous they are and bet how long they will last and how many idiot Americans will watch it. This new "reality" show on CBS absilutely blew my mind. The show called "Kid Nation" takes 40 children to an abondoned New Mexican townand the viewers will watch as they try to set up a new society without adults. (I couldn't make this up.) Reread that synopisis if needed. Now let it sink in for a inute.

Okay, you're back. Only in a screwed up country like Amercia could this be entertainment. There are people all over the world that live in abandonded cities and towns and fight everyday to survive. Do you think these people find this entertaining? In this country we have kids who for various reasons don't have parents and they struggle everyday to survive. Do you think these people find this entertaining? We have kids in this country who have two fully-functioning parents and these kids can't fit into society and control themselves enough to be allowed in malls, with adult supervision. Putting 40 kids into an abondoned town will turn into our society's nightmare. Everyone out there who already has stereotypes of the youth today in their mind, will only have these ideas enforced by what they see on this program.

I hope that either CBS comes to its senses and never airs this program, or America comes to its senses and no one watches this. Neither of those will happen, so I guess its up to me..................