I'm a little confused

I spent a good portion of the day watching Cast Away on TV today. For some reason I have always liked the movie, even if this would have been a better ending. But after watching it today I became confused.

I am confused on what it would really be like to survive a plane crash on a deserted island. On cast Away it seems like it would be difficult to survive, it would be very lonely, depressing, and all in all not fun. But if you are watching Lost (if you're not, you're an idiot) it seems like crashing on an island would be exciting. There are a lot of other people around, even people there before you got there, there are hatches and random food every where, there are attractive women around, there is always excitement in the form of monsters and time-travel, all in all in would be pretty fun.

So if any of my avid fans have ever crashed on a deserted island, please let me know what it is like. I don't know whether to trust TV or movies.

India is a dreadful, dreadful place............

First a clip..............



It turns out Seinfeld was right all those years ago. India really is a dreadful, dreadful place. It turns out that the actors in Slumdog Millionaire really do live in the slums. And instead of them getting money and becoming stars after starring in an Academy-award winning film, it appears they still live in poverty in India, getting their ass kicked by their parents.

Hooked on Phonics

Driving home today I drove past a KFC and they had a sign out front that said:

"Come in and Try our Value Manue"

Manue? WHo in their right mind went outside and spelled it like that on their sign that advertises to everyone who drives by? Also, has no one else noticed this? Sadly, probably not. What has happened to the educational system in this country.

Also, for those of you who did not watch Obama on Tuesday (you should) he made two points about education:

1. He asked every American to commit to at least 1 year of education beyond high school. (Does the school of Hard Knocks count?, otherwise this will never happen)
2. He said Dropping out of high school is no longer exceptable. (Are you going to make it against the law? otherwise this will never happen)

SInce this is not a political blog, I am not going to get into the politics of that, just rant quickly about them and move on.

Identity Theft

Two posts in one day? Someone must be really angry? You bet I am.

So I use internet banking to check my balances and what-not (to see if my wh**e of an ex-wife has gotten her money yet.) No big deal it is quick and easy (that's what she said). On the main screen you type in you login name (it appears as *****) then you press enter and you type your password (again all *****). About a year ago it requires your password for each new screen you click into as a protection. No big deal, but annoying.

Now today I go on and it asks me to set up a new security feature called Security Shield. I get to select 3 of 5 questions it will ask me EVERY TIME I log in. Here are the questions to choose from:

1.		What is the name of your mother's employer?
2.		Where did you go on your honeymoon?
3.		In what city were you born?
4.		In what city do your paternal grandparents live?
5.		What was your first job where you earned a paycheck?
6.		What is your most memorable promotion?
7.		What was your favorite sport to play in college?
8.		What is your greatest phobia or fear?
9.		What is the name of the street on which you grew up?
10.		In what city does your mother live?

What kind of questions are those some of them will have the same answers (what city were you born in, what city do your grandparents live in, what city does your mopther live in. Some questions might have no answer from people (where did you have your honeymoon, what is your greatest fear, what was your mother's employer, what was your greatest promotion). I am sitting here with no idea which questions to answer so that I will always remember my answer, also seeing that spelling and capitilazation would count. This is ridiculous.

UPDATE: It turns out there was a click to see 10 more questions if you didn't like those. Take a look at these, I am not sure if they are any better. Most of them are almost the same.

11.		What year was your mother born?
12.		What is your paternal grandfather's first name?
13.		What is the last name of your veterinarian?
14.		What year was your eldest child born?
15.		What was the first car you owned?
16.		In what city do your maternal grandparents live?
17.		What is the name of your first pet?
18.		What is your weight on your driver's license? (# of pounds)
19.		What date did you get married?
		MM: DD: YY:
20.		What year was your father born?

Why the long line?

Today on the way home I had to run some "errands" so I drove past the new (and only) Sonic "restaurant" in Milwaukee. It is located about 1 mile south of MIller Park. I for one don't get the big deal, it is just another s**tty fast food restaurant that over charges for a frozen piece of "meat" that they microwave. There menu is here, nothing special.

I drove past at 4:50 and the line inside the restaurant was coming ouside the store by about 8 people. There were over 30 people inside (keep in mind there are no tables inside to eat at because it is a "drive-in). There were about 20 spots outside for cars to pull up and have some dude (maybe a chick if you are lucky) come up to your car in roller baldes and take your order. Is this really want you want in a fast food experience:

All I think of everytime I think of this is Terry from Reno 911:

I lived in St. Louis for 5 years and they had SOncis all over the place, and no one seemed to care a thing about them. AS dumb as people are in Missouri, they knew better than to think that Sonic is any good. They are too busy shooting their tvs to worry about having some dude bring them food in roller skates.

Random Rantings

I know it's Sunday and only 1 o'clock but I have already noticed a few things worth ranting about.

• I was driving around and saw an old dude in wheelchair shoveling. WTF?
• I went to Sam's Club (always has a unique demographic on a Sunday morning), but I noticed that they sell gift cards there. Okay, but the weird thing is the pricing of them. The $25 gift cards for I-tunes, Olive Garden and place like that were $24.88. Woo-hoo, I save 12 cents. The $50 cards were $48.44, you save $1.56. However what was really weird was that their were these MasterCard $25 gift cards, which I am guessing worked just like a debit card, and they were being sold at $26.12. WTF? Why are they more expensive than the face value?
  
• Based on a suggestion from Edgrimley, I am currently downloading openoffice.org. It is suppossed to work just like Microsoft Word, but without the glitches and it is free. I will know in about 3 minutes when it is done downloading if it works. If that is some scheme for my rival blogger to once and for all finally take me down, there will be repurcussions. It says it can also open any word file and saves in a format that can be opened in Word. One thing that has been annoying me lately is that Word does not want to open any files that are not from that exact version of Word. It won't even open a file from a version of word from a year ago. I don't get it.
  

Sellout

Here today I was going to post a couple of clips from It's Always Sunny today on Hulu. I am going to play a clip from Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person. in which her boyfriend uses the line "that shit's bananas. However now on Hulu It's Alway's Sunny is only posting five episodes at a time and rotating through them. They used to be one of only 2 shows (Arrested Development the other) that would post all their videos at the same time. Lame.

I guess I'll just have to post this video of the Yo-Yo championship without any introduction from Lil' Kevin.

This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening...........

Please god, someone please wake me up from this horrible nightmare! No, I am not talking about my life in general but this recent news coming out of Brewers training camp.

The Brewers signed Eric Gagne to a minor league deal. I will repeat that a few times so you know that this is real. The Brewers signed Eric Gagne to a minor league deal. The Brewers signed Eric Gagne to a minor league deal. The Brewers signed Eric Gagne to a minor league deal. The Brewers signed Eric Gagne to a minor league deal. The Brewers signed Eric Gagne to a minor league deal. The Brewers signed Eric Gagne to a minor league deal. The Brewers signed Eric Gagne to a minor league deal.

WTF? You really mean to tell me that there is no one else out there to sign to throw baseballs than this guy. If we are looking to fill that position of a pitcher who will come in and panic and give up 3 home runs in a game we are winning by 5 runs, hey I am available. Hell, my grnadmother could do that. Do we really need this steroid-filled idiot?

After regretting the decision of signing him last year and having such a horrible year and giving up so many runs, you would think we would have had enough and be man enough to just walk away from the situation and just chalk it up as a loss. But, no we decided to go back for more and sign him again. Makes no sense. This would like my ec-wife convincing me to come back every night just to wash the dished after her and her new family have a lovely meal together. No, this doesn't happen because she chalked it up as a loss and wishes she never met me and has moved on. (Editor's note: this "moving on" thing doesn't apply to me because I still sit outside her windom and watch her eat dinner with her new family.)

Tempting.....................

I am very tempted to buy this sweatshirt, I think it is bad a@@. $100 bucks is a lot though. Hmm....................

Sports Time

I feel obligated to report on the "2nd Retiring" of Brett Favre. It is what it is, it is a year too late, but it is time. I would have to think that the New York Jets organization is kicking themselves for ever even acquiring him. They traded away their would be starter (I have no idea who will be their starter next year), they wasted a season in which they could have won the division (for crying out loud, the Dolphins won it), and they lost one of the better young coaches out there. Oh well, hopefully his last season as a Jet doesn't tarnish his legend in the record books.



The Brewers announced their bobble head lineup for games this season. Worst lineup yet.

• Braun- had him last year, hopefully this year he is in All Star jersey
• Trevor Hoffman- okay, he is a legend, let's just hope he doesn't implode by that time and is irrelevant. Also if it played Hell's Bells, that would be bad a@@.
• Jason Kendall- okay, I like the guy, but I don't need a bobble of another catcher, they are all the same, plus he is old and fragile... he could be irrelevant by this time.
• Brat- okay, helps to finish the racing sausage collection
• Jeff Suppan- WTF? Suppan over Gallardo or Parr. If you make one of Suppan, you might as well make one for that guy who helps you park by directing you with those glowing sticks. Both positions are useless and could be done by a one-armed, dyslexic monkey.
• Doug Melvin- WTF? I like the guy, but don't want a bobble of him. How about Macha? Or as Snow.Man suggested, the guy from the Miller HIgh LIfe Commercials.
• Other suggestions- an action bobble of Fielder pushing Parra, CC in a Yankees uniform, Fielder in a Yankees uniform, Yost bagging groceries at Pick 'n Save, Sheets on the operating table, Cameron with a needle of steroids in his ass, or Anastasio rolling in money.
• 
  

Finally, I was perusing the paper today and for some reason read the questions to Mark Stewart in the sports section. Today's theme was the Wisconsin Badgers, who are having an off-year but have won 3 in row. One question reads: ""We have too many slow white guys and I think Bo Ryan needs to recruit more athletic black players." Wow. I would be embarrassed to write that question.

I need a script

I know that no one in Hollywood has any new ideas and has to only create movies based on books and short stories. But now I have heard that they are making a movie based on Moneyball. Okay, it was a very interesting book, but how can you make a movie about it. There is little story to it, pretty much just facts and figures. To me it would be just like making a movie about your algebra text book. (It could be a heartbreaking story about the love triangle between multiplication, division, and derivatives. Addition could play the town drunk adding comic relief.)

Now I have also hear that Brad Pitt is going to play the lead role, Billie Beane. Pitt is a good actor, but the problem with this is that it will now get the hype "a lockbuster movie." All these lonely housewives will go see it because Pitt is in it and will expect a love story or some action. They will be sorely disappointed when it is about the numbers behind running a successful major league baseball organization.

However this clip of Radiohead on the Grammys is pretty bad a**. I think it would be cool if they actually went and toured with a marching band. It's never been done before, but is cool to hear the bands crazy sounds performed on simple instruments.

For Sale

Due to the high demand of my first shirt sponsored by this website, I have created a new shirt.

All profits go towards pediatric restless leg syndrome, or PRLS.

Random Rantings

It's Friday, I'm home, I'm tired, and always I'm angry. Here are some videos to hold you bitches over until tomorrow...........

My god am I hungry all of a sudden


I'm sure we have all heard this by now, but here it is.......


Here is a pretty funny interpretation of that on The Colbert Report

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Stephen Verbally Thrashes Steve Martin

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Funny Political News

Christian Bale Parody
Joke of the Day

I'm Open

I got this picture e-mailed me and I thought it was humorous. Even more humorous because in was from a New York newspaper about a week ago. Don't forget the Jets probably hemoraged their future quiet a bit by getting Favre. They had to trade away their starting QB in Pennington who was Comeback Player of the Year in leading the Dolphins to the division title. THey also lost a young and promising coach in Mangini.

Favre really does need to hang it up now. I am not like some bloggers out there who think he should have retired years ago. Remember he did lead the Packers within an overtime of the Super Bowl in a year they greatly out-performed themselves. (I still blame my wife for the loss). He shouldn't have come back this year, and we saw why. He started out magical, like the Favre of old, but was absolutely horrible in the second half of the year.

Also, they did officially move back the date of the digital TV switch. DOesn't congress have something more important to work on passing? The new president inherited a country in s**t and a world in a state of f**king s**t. Come On.

Good medicine

I was going to have a post about all the Super Bowl commercials, but really didn't have the time to get my anger juices flowing over them yet, maybe later in the week.

However if you missed the Office last night after the Super Bowl, you missed a treat. Here are the first 5 minutes of the episode in which Dwight sets up a fake fire to see if everyone knows what to do.



I really don't know what he wanted them to do; the doors were locked, the phone was disconnected. It does lead to some funny stuff. I love using the copier to break down a door, the overhead projector through the window,Kevin raiding the snack machine, and Oscar crawling in the drop ceiling.

Great lines: "Stanley, Barack is President. You are black Stanley." ~Michael
"The fire is shooting at us." ~Andy after Dwight lights some firecrackers.

Give NBC credit for this. The Office is a hilarious show, but its rating are just okay. They are trying to take the millions of people who were watching the Super Bowl and immediately show them how funny the show is. This episode started about 2 seconds after the post game. If you didn't have a chance to change the channel, you would quickly see a great scene that shows how funny The Office is. The great thing about the show is that you can just watch it, you don't have to know any back stories or anything. Just sit back and laugh