What a pompous ass....

I was watching Sports Center during the day today and they were obviously talking about Bonds. He is in LA and they were talking about what if he broke the record there, what would be the reaction. Obviously they would boo, no body likes Bonds. They mentioned that of any city LA hates him the most and then they talked about why that is. 8 years ago they played towards the end of the season for the division lead. Bonds hit a three run walk off homer and they eventually swept the series, won the division, and the Dodgers team was dismantled.

However, 2 things stand out about the video. First, Bonds was tiny in the video, and this was only 8 years ago. This was not video of his rookie season when he was only 20, he was a grown man, just wasn't on steroids yet. Second, after he hit the homer he stood there and watched it, took 2 steps, then did a spin move before rounding the bases. What a pompous ass.

4 1/2 hours of baseball later.....

Brewers are still in first. Went to the Brewers game tonight and there were some highlights and some lowlights. First the highlights:

• Actually got to sit in the seat that was on the ticket I paid for. The last 3 games I have gone to there were people in our seats and we had to sit in other seats because the people were stupid to move. Its not that hard to read numbers off a ticket and sit in your seat.
• I found out that the actually do sell Chorizo at the ball park. (Right outside section 421 for those interested. Its actually pretty good. Its basically this Mexican spicy sausage wrapped in a tortilla with some chunky salsa in it. Try it.
• Villaneuva proved he is still probably the best pitcher in the bullpen.
• Turnblow didn't blow it.
• Yost didn't blow it, he did try though.
• Mench actually had a great catch in right field in the 11th inning.
• The do the sausage race again after the 12th.
  

And now the lowlights:

• Twice in the 9th or later the Brewers had a man on third with 1 out and did nothing.
• Moises Alou (41 years of age) stole a base.
• There were so worried about Wright on first that they had a wild throw to first that allowed him to get to third, before Villanueva saved their ass.
  
• Yost used our last position player to bunt. If the game went any longer we would have been screwed. Can't Gallardo or Cappy bunt, they both have good control of the bat.
• Wise through 10 straight balls before Yost did anything about it.
  
• They once again only used Villaneuva for one inning. He saved the team's ass that inning, and he is a natural starter. He can pitch multiple innings. If they had used him longer they would not have run out of pitchers like they did.
• Somehow Jenkins was the hero of the night; getting a walk, a single, and a home run. Twice he was in scoring position with 0 outs and nothing, before his Walk-Off homer. He's still a bum.
  

Dead to Me...

Today I have added Meteorology to the list. Last Saturday (7/21) was the "Summer Turning Point" as those "scientists" call it. What this means is that the average temperature for each day, on average is lower and lower each day after that. (For example the average temperature on 7/20 is usually 85, on 7/21 is 88, and on 7/22 is 86) Meaning the temperatures on average go down. For the past 3 days and fore casted for the next 7+ the high temperature in Milwaukee is going to be 90-93. Before this Friday (7/27) it was only over 90 once. The average temperature so far this summer was 78. Now we are getting 90 every day. Bullshit! I'm sitting in my apartment right now at 11:45 and it is hot as hell in here. No relief in sight.

I'm going to try to cry myself to sleep like usually, but there will probably just be steam rising form my eyes where the tears should be.

The proof is in the pudding...

I know this is my fourth entry this beautiful Sunday afternoon but I'm bored, angry, and now the BRewers are losing badly. (Why was Turnblow in that long??? They will be tied for first on Tuesday, after they are done with the Mets will be 2 games back of the Cubbies)

I was looking at the paper. By looking I mean looking at the pictures because I can't read. On the page with the box score they had an attendance report for all major league teams. (They may have this every day but I haven't noticed it, so lay off edgrimley) To further show that the NL is a far superior league and we don't need a DH over here, the attendance average per game is 3,000 more than the AL.


Except for New York; every team in the NL has a higher attendance for similar or same cities. The Cubs do more than the White Sox, the Dodgers more than the Angels, Giants more than A's, Astros more than Rangers, the Marlins more than the Devil Rays, and even the terrible Reds do better than Wild-Card leading Indians.

Just goes to show that the NL is a better league, and America realizes that and more Americans go to NL games. Numbers don't lie (unlike my ex-wife).

Still dead to me...

Ted Thompson, the GM of the Packers, has been dead to me for a long time now, but he officially moved into first place on the list above Larry Harris and Summer Road Construction. He was interviewed by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (which is still On Notice) about various things about the Packers going into the season. First, he thinks the Packers are better than last year and will make the playoffs. I'll let Jim Mora take it from here:



This team is much worse than they were last year, and some how were 8-8. The retiree, Brett Favre, is one year older, they have no starting running back, Driver is still injured, and McCarthey is fatter and dumber this year. I predict 4-12.

Ted Thompson is also a dick of an interviewee. When asked why he didn't go after Moss, Green, or even Travis Henry he refused to comment, even when it was noted that Ron Wolff used to comment on players on other teams all the time. (Wait maybe because Ron Wolff was a good GM and Thompson is a joke.)

He even defended Koren Robinson, saying he's a good person. I guess driving drunk around time makes you a good person.

Still Dead to Me

Too Sad for Cake.....

This week's award goes to Jose Canseco for writing yet another book about steroid use, this time supposedly implicating A-Rod. First, I don't think they were ever on the same team. A-Rod was in Seattle until 2000. Canseco's official last year was 2000, but the last year that he was not injured and useless was 1998. (Somehow he was actually an all-star that year) So they never played together, and were barely in the league at the same time. (A-Rod was a rookie in 1996). And A-Rod is actually a stand-up guy and possibly the only current player that may be able to take the home run record away from the Dark Side (Barry Bonds).

Writing one book wasn't enough for this ex-con, he needs to right another. He must have found out he has even more illegitiment children who are asking for more money. When was it cool to write books selling out all your old "friends," accusing them of the same things you were doing.

Maybe I should write a book telling about how edgrimley used to go around town "cleaning the streets" of all the soul-less ladies of the night. Or how Snow.man. used to go around town with NElly and go into strip clubs and "make it rain" before heading to an underground dog fight.

Keep your fingers crossed

I'm sitting here watching the Brewer's game ( a few more times while they are still in first place) and there was just a commercial for "Walk-off Wednesdays." If you go to a game on Wednesday and buy a jersey of a player before the 7th inning and then that player hits a walk-off home run, you win an autographed bat. Now what are the odds of that happening?

I tried looking for some numbers on this, but was not able to find how many there are a season or anything. I did however find the list of the all time leaders:

• Jimmie Foxx……….12
• Mickey Mantle……. 12
• Stan Musial……….. 12
• Frank Robinson……12
• Babe Ruth………….12
• Tony Perez…………11
• Dick Allen…………..10
• Harold Baines …….10
• Reggie Jackson……10
• Mike Schmidt ……..10

These are some of the greatest hitters of all time, so is it very likely that if I buy a Ryan Braun jersey on a Wednesday that he will hit a walk off that game. Even if he does, the prize is only a bat that was probably signed by an intern to say Ryan Braun.

The Brewers also have a contest every home game that if the lead off hitter hits a home run in the 6th inning that lands in the "Mercedes Benz Picnic Area" in right field. Keep in mind that this area is about 300 square feet. IF that does happen, one lucky fan wins a 1-year lease of a Mercedes Benz, they don't even win a car, they just get to drive one around for a year, and then have the option to buy it then. Lame!

Lets have some real contests, ones that are likely to happen, and one in which you win something you would want. How about if Yost puts his best players in the game, doesn't keep the pitcher in there for too long, and doesn't send Gwynn to AAA every one in attendance gets a free beer. (Oh wait, that would never happen either.)

Boycott

I was watching television last night and noticed a new commercial for Bud Light, featuring "Carlos Mencia." (if that is his real name) In case we needed another reason to avoid Bud Light, now we have one. Carlos Mencia drinks it. He is a joke of a human being and not at all funny as a comedian. If you've every watched his show on Comedy Central you know what I mean. (I liked it the first time when it was called The Chappelle Show)

Relax People

A group of us went to see the Simpson's Movie last night at the Rosebud Cinema. The movie was better than I thought it was going to be and much better than the couple reviews I read. They poked fun at themselves for making a movie exactly like a tv show you can see for free, it had every character you would want to see in the movie, and did some things they have never done in the show. The Rosebud is a more "luxurious" theater. They have little couches to sit in instead of uncomfortable theater chairs. They also have beer and food service, in which they bring you your food right to your seat.

This movie was only 85 minutes long, but there literally was not one minute without someone in the theater moving around, getting something to drink or going to the bathroom. There was always someone moving around and distracting the whole theater, it was bizarre to me. People, this movie is only 85 minutes long, can we not sit there for that long without moving around. Do we really need that much food and beverages to make it through the 85 minutes? Let's just sit down, relax, enjoy the movie, and worry about all that other stuff after it is over.

Who are the ad wizards who came up this one?

Well, the ad wizards may have actually gotten something right. Today they announced that Drew Carey will be the new host of the price is right. I for one think that this is a great idea.

• The Drew Carey was really funny for the first 61/2 of its 9 years. (The last 2+ were actually god-awful, and only included some of the original staff).
  
• Unlike other celebrities with sitcoms in the 90s Carey does not have a negative rap sheet or time in rehab. (Tim Allen, Kelsey Grammar)
• He actually does a greet deal of philanthropy work.
• He is very personable and funny in real life. Anyone who has seen him on Whose Line Is It Anyway or celebrity game shows like Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
  
• In 2004, Comedy Central ranked him #84 on its list of the 100 greatest stand ups of all time.
• He enjoys drinking large amounts of beer and is not shy about telling people this.
• I assume his co-stars from the Drew Carey Show, Lewis and Oswald will still be in every episode.
• Drew Carey provided the entertainment for the 2002 Annual White House Correspondents dinner. Anyone who does this is a comedic hero of mine (Stephen Colbert)
  
• One negative is that he is a very outspoken politically and is very much a libertarian.

I really do think Drew Carey will do a good job with this, providing jokes when needed and I think bored housewives will come to love him in their own way and want to run on stage and kiss him, and the guys will want to run on stage to chug a beer with him.

Too Sad for Cake.....

This week's Too Sad for Cake award goes to professional sports, not to any one athlete or even any one sport, just to professional sports in general. It was truly a sad week for professional sports; football, basketball, soccer, and even baseball.

Michael Vick was officially indited on charges of dog fighting, including commerce across state lines. He is pretty much screwed. It may take a while for the legal process to get going and fully indite him, but once it does he will more than likely be found guilty and will serve a good amount of time in federal pound me in the ass prison. They have all kinds of evidence and many eye witnesses, done deal. The NFL just needs to cut their losses with their once "chosen one" and suspend Vick until the legal process is through with him. The negative public outcry the NFL will receive if Vick plays this year will be unbelievable.

Even more sad is what the NBA is going through. The NBA is already dead to me, but they sure are making it easier and easier each day for them to remain dead to me. How can we have refs that are betting on games they are refereeing, and may possible be point skimming. I have believed that the NBA is rigged to an extent for years, and it turns out that it is. Commissioner (Puppet Master) David Stern made the comment that this issue needs to be addressed quickly so as to preserve the NBA's integrity. The NBA still has integrity? I pretty sure that went out the window when Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson went into the stands and punched a fan in the face.

Also sad is the state of professional soccer in America. The LA Galaxy is paying David Beckham unbelievable money to run around the field and maybe score a goal once every 5 games, about 4 years past his prime. This would be like the Canadian Football League to sign Emmit Smith to play for one of their teams and run for like 15 yards a game and get injured every other game. All this for a sport that no one in America really cares about anyway. All this money and long wait and Beckham only played in 12 minutes and the only highlight he had was making a corner kick, and his team lost 1-0. Now thats money well spent.

Not to miss any of the action baseball is on the verge of having one of its greatest records broken by a lying, cheating, womanizing a@@-hole. On Thursday Bonds hit 2 homers and is now 2 away from tying and 3 away from breaking Hank Aaron's home run record. Its only a matter of time now, and thats too bad that baseball is going to have to recognize this jack-ass of a human being for accomplishing something no one else has. I am still keeping my fingers-crossed that Bonds gets within one of the record and decides to retire to pay homage to a great man and the great history of the sport, and doesn't break the record on purpose. All they other lying and cheating he did might even be over looked over time if he would make such a statement. It will never happen, but what if.

A@@-Hole Club Celebration

I went to this Uber-Reunion tonight for any a@@-hole that went to Marquette University High School. The school is celebrating 150 years of turning spoiled-snooty teenagers into spoiled-snooty adults. Anyone who went to school there was invited to the Discovery World Pier downtown Milwaukee for a "celebration." My dad really wanted to go because it thought it was cool that they were doing this and he had never been in the Discovery World and wanted to see it, so I told him I would go with him.

Some rants:

• We were told to dress casually, nothing fancy. About 75% of these a@@-holes were wearing suit and ties, I wore shorts and a collared shirt.
• There served food which was hot dogs and hamburgers and grilled potato wedges. However they did not really provide any seating. Under the tent with the food were about 50-60 tables, all reserved for the most spoiled and uppidity alumni there. The rest of us credence had to find some place to eat, which pretty much meant standing against the building and eating. There were another like 10 tables inside the Discovery World which was hardly enough for 4,000 people to eat at.
  
• If I haven't talked to you since high school, there is probably a reason for that. The number of people who went up to their former classmates from 10-20 years ago and would ask the most unoriginal question of "what have you been up to?" "Well I've made some new friends and moved on in my life, and thats why I haven't been keeping in touch with you."
• The Discovery World is really quite unimpressive. Its normally $17.50 for adults and $12 for kids ($9 some reason for college students) We walked through the thing, interacting with 90% of it, and were done with the whole thing in 45 minutes. I would be upset even paying $7 for that. Most of the exhibits were quite lame and not very interactive and not very educational. The best part was an aquarium that was cool but not very big, about half the size of a typical Walgreens.
• When you go some where in which you are receiving a free drink, you should still tip. With this "deal" we all got two tickets for a free drink. I watched and the majority of people would order a drink use their ticket and not tip. These people are helping get you drunk and you do not have to pay for it (in money at least) you can at least give them some money for helping the cause.
• I guess its the thing to do when you hang out with people from the past in your life to talk about things entirely revolving around money and how successful your kids are. Almost every conversation I over heard was about new positions at work people had gotten, a new car the bought, how much their house was worth, or what east-coast-liberal-ivy league college their kids were accepted too. No one asks if they are happy at work, do they love their wife, do they make a difference in the world, or what they think about the Genocide over in Africa.
  

Do it right old timer...

Avid reader, Snowman, sent me this clip today of a grandmother 'ghost ridin the whip." The clip is hilarious, but the only problem with the clip that I have is that she does not correctly ghost ride the whip.



Grandma and grandpa forget to get on top of the car. They get out and dance correctly but forget to get on top of the whip. Now look at this:



Now thats how you ghost ride. I for one am glad that this ghost riding the whip thing was not just a fad and that it has stuck around. I wish more people would ghost ride their whip around town. Maybe one day we will see edgrimley ghost riding his KIA down Brady.

There are still a few new ideas left....

Most movies that come out are not original at all, just the same formula repeated with different characters. I went and saw Ratatouille the other night (so-so as far as talking animal movies go). Before the movie was a trailer for a new Jerry Seinfeld movie, Bee Movie. He has been working on this movie for almost a year and is now being released in November. The movie is an animated talking-animal movie centered around a young bee. The humor is very "Seinfeld-esque" and I think the movie will be quite funny. The progression of the film is even funnier. Watch these three trailers in order. The first came out about 6-7 months ago, the second one about 2-3 months ago, and the last one came out recently.











I'm going to see the movie, and will enjoy it. Just seeing Seinfeld doing things again is a good thing. I've heard that NBC has a standing offer to him to have an hour-long Seinfeld reunion episode if he ever decides to do it.

My rant here is that I personally think that this movie would be funnier if stayed live action. If it were a movie about them trying to make a movie with actors playing talking animals, and all the hilarity that ensues. It would be a stupid kind of humor, but has never been done and I think it would be hilarious.

Something worthy of my time.....

Today we have introduced a new blog link to our page: Mo Rocca 180.

I used to watch the Daily Show religiously (literally, I used to pray and set candles while watching). The show really isn't the same that it once was, primarily because Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell have gone onto even more success on their new shows. A more subtle reason is because of Mo Rocca, he has a very dry and keen sense of humor. His blog covers many a subject and is quite funny and poignant, enjoy.

Butter up that bacon!

I was driving through a parkway in Wauwatosa on Friday and came up to a light that was flashing red. No big deal, most people know how to handle one of these. But for some strange reason there was a group of police officers (4) there helping to control traffic. I thought this was odd because this was not a very busy intersection. When I got closer it turns out that one police officer was training this other police officer how to control traffic while two other officers were on the side observing. The one officer was literally grabbing the other officer and moving his body in different directions and waving the other officer's hands in the air to move traffic.

How difficult is it to control traffic. I'm pretty sure you just stop traffic in one direction and then let the other traffic go, and then do the opposite. Then repeat. Not too difficult. What kind of lack of confidence in their own police force does Wauwatosa have that they have the need to waste the time of three other officers to go train one officer on how to control traffic. Unbelievable. (Almost too sad for cake but its a long week and I do not want to give out that award too early.)

Baseball Observations

Over the weekend I went to the Brewers' game on Saturday evening and sunday afternoon, and observed a lot about the human animal those days.

• Its not too difficult to read your ticket and sit in the correct seat.
• If you are in the wrong seat and someone tells you this, get the hint and move.
• People from Illinois do not understand the concept of turning lanes and merging.
• Don't bring a two month old baby to a baseball game.
• Ned Yost makes some the most bizarre decisions I have ever seen, yet every so often one works and idiot baseball analysts call him a genius.
• If drunk enough you will drink a warm beer after the game that was sitting in the trunk all game.
• Gambling on anything is fun.
• Don't honk while in bumper-to-bumper traffic trying to get out after the game.
• When leaving the parking lot, it is okay to let someone in in front of you.
• Its okay to sit throughout the game and watch it, you don't have to be constantly walking around the ballpark.
• Remember that some families go to these games and there are children around, so watch your language and try not to act like a complete idiot.
  

I'm going to the baseball game tonight with a group of 4th grade students, we'll see how my observation of the ballgame changes.

Slow sports day??

Today I turned on PTI on ESPN for a quick second and they were talking about how the Seattle Supersonics were struggling in this year's summer league. Really?? Thats a relevant sports story? Who cares about the NBA during the season, let alone during one of their summer leagues? I think most players in this are ex-cons and that drunk guy from the bar. Who cares at all. Its the middle of the baseball season, let's talk about that. The NFL is not far away, let's talk about that. I'm sure Pac Man Jones or Michael Vick did something stupid over the weekend we could talk about.

Going, going, out!

That was one lame ass Home Run Derby this year, and it lasted over 3 hours, something needs to be done here. In the first round the leader had 5 home runs, and the winner had 3 in the final round (the second round wasn't terrible). What the hell is the deal with this?? We came to watch people hit home runs, and a total of 74 were hit during 140 outs, not impressive. I don't know if it was the ballpark, the weather, the time of day, or what. I think that players are becoming worried about being worn out for the second half of the season and are not giving their all. Prince Fielder only had 3 homers with 10 outs hitting perfect pitches, he almost averages that during the season with not-perfect pitches. They need to work on something to make this more interesting, and also not so long. Suggestions?? (Besides steroids)

Too sad for cake....

This week's Too Sad for Cake goes to the employees of Uno's Menomonee Falls. This summer I have been working at Uno's in Menomonee Falls to earn a little extra money before having to teach again. I've literally worked 7 shifts there in the past 2 weeks, yes I worked there for 3 years before, but hadn't worked there in 10 months.

First, I came in knowing as much as every employee there, and soon found out that I knew much more than a good number of employees who have been there awhile. Today I came in and was asked to train this new guy they hired. There were 10 other employees, who have been there anywhere from 1 month to 13 months. The fact that I would be asked before any of you, too sad for cake.

Its so easy, its like stealing candy from a baby.

Chicago weekend...

Chicago wasn't really that bad. The Police concert was a blast; they played all the hits you would want to hear, the sound quality was good and they didn't make you wait like 2o minutes for an encore. Beers of Miller Lite were $5 a can at a bar across the street from Wrigley, and glasses of Old Style were $7 at Wrigley. (A bit expensive but nothing too crazy) Going to the bathroom in a trough at Wrigley with a bunch of drunk men inches away from you is interesting, but do-able.

Saw Transformers the movie on Saturday; kick-ass. If you grew up on the toy and cartoon, you will enjoy this movie. They keep to the same storyline and characters names. (It even has the same voice of Optimus Prime) Definitely suggest seeing the movie. There is an interesting story line, awesome action (there is a 45-minute scene to end the movie in which cars are going down the highway, spinning around, turning into robots, and firing cannons, all in one motion), and there are also some humorous parts as well.

Otherwise avoided lame-ass Chicago clubs and cluster-f*@# bars. knowing they would get me crazy angry anyways.

Post a sign people...

I just ran (drove) to Miller Park to get a few tickets for a Brewer game for some friends from out of town. Went there my usually way, parked, and walked over to the usual ticket window. There was only one window opened on this side of the ballpark, but felt that that was normal because it was 1:30 on a Friday. However, there was quiet the long line, probably about 9-10 people deep. Oh well, probably just a lot of people off today going to buy tickets. I wait in line for about 15 minutes when a gentleman about 4 in front of me approaches the window asking about tickets, and the lady says that this line is for employees only, coming to pick up their checks.

WTF? Why is there a giant sign hanging there that says "Tickets?" Maybe that might be telling everyone that this is where you can buy tickets. In fact I bought tickets there three weeks ago, at that exact same window. Maybe they could have put up a sign that said this window is for employees picking up their checks? It turns out I had to walk to the other side of Miller Park and get tickets, luckily their was no line.

Going to Chicago this weekend, so I am sure I will come back with plenty to rant about.