Class Reunion

Keeping with my themes of terrible television, and especially game shows, comes another hidden gem "Moment of Truth." On the show a question is hooked up to a lie detector and must answer personal and scandalous questions about yourself and your past. Such questions as "Have you ever cheated on your girlfriend?' "Have you ever rigged a baby fight?" And the longer you stay on and telling the truth and "embarrassing" yourself and family on national TV. (By national TV I mean the 4,000 idiots in America dumb enough to watch this show. It's pretty obvious that Americans will do anything to be famous and on TV. Again, I do not wonder why the rest of the world hates America.

Oh wait it gets worse. I received a phone call from a kid I have not spoken to in 3 years and was told to make sure I watch this week's episode. No thanks, I have better things to do like give myself a root canal. Then he proceeds to tell me that a kid we went to grade school with is going to be on it and as his guest he is bringing on another kid we went to grade school with. I still passed on watching it, but have since watched "highlights" of it online.

Here is a youtube summary:


You can imagine how long an hour long version is, but in case you want to see that click here.

It's pretty sad (and funny) to see how far into being douche bags these two have turned. The contestant moved to Arizona sophomore year of high school and he is still best friends with a kid who lives in Wisconsin and he hasn't lived in the same city with since grade school. Somehow this kid became a trust fund baby, he was far from that in grade school. He still gets an allowance? He once used counterfeit money? He once watched gay porn?

If I were on here is a sample of questions they would ask me: Have you ever rigged a baby fight? Did you ever stand outside the window of your ex-wife's new family for 3 hours in the pouring rain? Did you ever purposefully sabotage rival blogger EdGrimley's original blog site and have it crash?

Summer of George?

Every so often I sit and wonder "Why is it that the rest of the world hates Americans?" Then a see a preview for some of the shows premiering on ABC this summer:





This looks horribly awful. Lets what a bunch of idiot Americans bounce around on s**t and embarrass themselves for money.

Here's a longer sneak peak if you still are wondering how awful this will be.


I thought the contestants were bad but what's with those annoying and idiotic announcers trying to be clever and funny. Anyone who watches this show needs to reconsider their life. Is it really worth living?

Post-Note: I also saw a preview for a game show called "I Survived a Japanese Game Show." (I'm not kidding, but I couldn't find a clip yet) On this show they take contestants to Japan and put them on a physical-type gameshow there. Horrible. Now not only are we embarassing ourselves and our good name, we are nmaking fun of other cultures on public TV. How about this game show "I Survived a Severe Beating By Chopper" or "I Survived 10 Years after America Ran Out of Oil" or even "I Survived 8 Years of George W Bush." Those I would watch.

Writer's Block

I have long hated on the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. It is a "newspaper" written by idiots for idiots. They never really have anything of value to say, just a bunch of random words in a random order on the page. They also never have anything bad to say about any of the local sports teams, even when they suck. Today I picked up the paper and read this little nugget about the Brewers' victory last night.

"Starting to Turn Around" WTF? I would hardly say that the season was starting to turn around. They won one game against the terrible Nationals and 2 against the even worse Pirates. Big Deal. This is a long season and we still have only one decent starting pitcher, 2 batters actually hitting the ball, no closer, and a terrible manager. I would not say that things are turning around. It would be okay if our local paper wrote a real story that said the team sucked, was under-performing, and changes need to be made. That I might actually read.

Side-note 1: Look at the lineup for today's game. Why is Braun not playing in every game? I agree that Hall should be sat occasionally because his bat is useless right now. They do need to find more ways to get Kapler and Gwynn into games, but put them in for Cameron or move Braun to 3rd, don't sit Braun. Stupid. And then put in Counsell. What? Hey while we're at it, let's sit Kendall, the third best bat in the lineup. It's almost as if Yost has no idea what he is doing.

Side-note 2: To further prove that the newspaper is written by idiots, here is an article from today's paper saying baseball SHOULD use instant replay. Instant replay will ruin the game. That is what is beautiful about baseball, it is not tainted like other sports by technology and one player stealing all the highlights. So what, A-Rod got robbed of a home run the other night. That was a horrible call, but s**t happens. I even have him in my Fantasy League, and the bad call really hurt me, but such is life. Baseball needs to stay away from Instant Replay. Think about terrible managers like Dusty Baker or Ned Yost, they will run out there for an instant replay after every call to try to save face. The game will last 6 hours.

Side-note 3: Brewers.com has a weekly poll question and this week it was:

"Who should fill in as closer while Gagne is on the DL?"

What kind of question is that, it should have been:

"Who should be the new closer because Gagne couldn't close with a drunk 16 year old on prom night?"

Here's a question for next week:

"Who will be the new sausage in the Sausage Race after Chorizo takes over as manager after Yost is fired?" I'm voting for the Corn Dog.

Ambulance Chasers

The lengths a lawyer will go to keep their client innocent has never surprised me...until now. As we all know R. Kelly is in court AGAIN for having sex with a 13-year old. This time they have been showing the video in court and I read this story about how his lawyer is building a defense.

WTF? Why compare it to Little Man? Because R. Kelly is black? The lady's response to the lawyer's questioning is hilarious. At this point I am hoping there is no way that R. Kelly gets away with this. This would be like the 3rd 13-year old girl he has been accused of having sex with. Can anyone in Hollywood be found guilty of anything?

I guess if you want to become a lawyer you need to take a class called "Terrible Movies and How to Build a Shaky Defense around Them."

I should have used evidence from White Chicks or some other terrible Wayans Brothers' movie (there's just so many of them) during my divorce hearing.

Dude!

I just saw Iron Man this afternoon (Okay, about 2 1/2 stars, it has a few logical leaps of faith) but the real reason for this post is the spotting of The Dude from Big Lebowski in Iron Man. The Dude used to be so laid back and care free:

"The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners."

Now he's in Iron Man as some corporate money loving weapons maker. What happened man? He must have lost the finals of the Bowling Tournament and was in jeopardy of being kicked out of his aprtement. Just look at the two pictures of him:

Then
Now:

I haven't seen anyone have such a drastic change in appearance in a short time since Fred Durst.

Taxman

I was watching the local news last night trying to get my anger juices flowing after a week of being sick and not having the energy to be angry. Then I watched this story. (Click on video of article to watch clip).

Wait a minute? The most commonly taken day off is Friday? What a shocker! You mean that if part of my contract I get 3 days off a year (for whatever reason) that I might actually want to use them smartly and sandwich them with my other days off like weekends and holidays? That would be crazy. Sadly this is probably true with every profession, not just teachers. You could probably look at the records of police and doctors, and the most common day taken off would probably be Fridays as well.

Why are tax payers so worried about a few teachers taking the days off that are entitled to them in their contract? We spend more tax dollars in a single day fighting an war in Iraq than we spend an entire year in public schools in one city. Lets get all up in arms about money wasted over seas to make Dick Cheny's stock rise a fraction of a percent.

Ah, f**k-it. I'm so angry I'm taking tomorrow off and having a 3-day weekend.

Oh wait, Monday is Memorial Day, sweat 4-day weekend. I might even take Tuesday off and have a 5-day weekend.

Problem Solved.....

I was getting worried about the Brewers' spiraling season and thought there was no solution in sight. Then man-genius Ned Yost came up with this brilliant solution. Now I have been a fan of VIllaneuva since he came up, and I understand he is struggling, but take him out of starting for McCLung. Look at Villaneuva's stats and then McClung. Okay, nothing special there. If anything remove Bush from the rotation. Makes no sense. Plus we have problems that extend a lot farther than the games that Villaneuva pitches.

After watching tonight's game it came to be that the Brewer's need to resign Sheets at ANY COST. With Villaneuva sent to the pen, Suppan getting old, Cappy is done, Bush sucks, and Gallardo is a question mark, they have no starting pitching now, and the outlook is even worse next year. Gallardo is probably the long term #1, and I still believe Villaneuva is still the long term #2, but Gallardo is out for the year and there is no chance he steps into the #1 next year. So who is left to be the #1 next year? Good question. They must resign Sheets. Don't pull a COrdero and have him sign with another team for $1 million more. Even with his injuries, Sheets is worth $10-$12 million a year for the next four. In the words of Yost's best friend Larry the Cable Guy: "Get 'er done!"

The Assistant Principal came into my room today to talk Brewers and he put the Brewers' problems into perspective. He said, "The Brewers really only have 4 problems, hitting, pitching, defense, and management." Perfectly said. Too bad the management problem could be fixed with one phone call to Chorizo. (He'll work for salsa).

Fallen Wonders

I was watching the Season Finale of House tonight (one of the few shows out there created for us intelligent people) and noticed a familar face as a guest star. None other than once teen hearthrob and TRL champion, Fred Durst. Man has he turned old. He is quickly becoming this generation's Vanilla Ice. Someone who was popular for a quick moment and then become their own walking-joke. It just made me laugh.

Here is a picture of what he looks like now:
And at his "prime" (which was only a few years ago)

From Bad to Worse to WORST

The downward spiral that is the Milwaukee Brewers have gone from a team that missed the playoffs by 2 games, to a team that is in last place in the National League Central. How is this happening and nothing is being done to the team to shake things up. The only player doing anything worth while is Ryan Braun (2 homeruns again today) and to a lesser extent Corey Hart and Jason Kendall. Everyone else is useless.

How can the manager Ned Yost still have a job on that team. He is making some of the most assine lineup decisions. A) Why is Weeks still leading off? Hart excelled there last year and is actually hitting .300. I know Hart is batting after Fielder to protect Fielder in the lineup but Fielder isn't the same threat at the plate as he was last year. Why not have Kendall bat 5 behind Fielder to protect him. B) Why did they put Joe Dillon at first with the extra player in the AL in Saturday's game? He sucks. Why not put in Kappler or Gwynn, two guys who are actually hitting the ball. Why not take Braun out of left field for a few games since Yost thinks he is such a defensive liability? Makes no sense.

To get a better idea of how bad things have gotten, there was an article in today's paper about bring up Russel Branyan to help at the plate. How bad have things gotten that we would need his lame duck bat in the lineup?

Things need to change really quickly with this team. Since they are currently on an extended road trip, I fear things might get really really bad quickly. Pretty soon it is going to be embarrassing to walk around town wearing my Brewers baseball cap.

Technology at it's best

Another reason I love freedom is that with my check from the government I was able to buy me a new I-pod. yes, it is pretty much the same and just plays music. However, with this one I could in theory download movies and TV shows. Now they are expensive so I would rather not, but on their website I found some free downloads. One such download are a bunch of clips from The Onion News Network. Just like the Onion Newspaper, the news network is a bunch if fake and hilarious news. Since I cannot read these are much more entertaining.

Looking forward to this

This is the time of the year that I start bragging that I will soon (4 weeks) be off for the entire summer. Just me and my thoughts for the whole summer, look out world. It's one of the many pleasures of my profession.

Then last night I saw a few previews for TV shows airing this summer and I wondered if I should brag about sitting at home and watching this crap. Here is one in particular:



They will film anything with celebrities doing it. They had that terrible show with celebritities as police officers (Thankfully it was cancelled after 2 episodes). Now this circus crap. How about a reality show of an entire town filled with washed-up celebrities having to run everything in the town. Some of them have to be teachers, some have to be doctors, some have to lawyers, some have to be garbage men, and each week they have contests to see who can be mayor. Now that I would watch; getting to see the guy who player Urkel perform open-heart surgery on Christian Slater...classic.

Skeletons in the Closet

You may have seen this video of Bill O-Reilly flipping out at the cue card guy back when he worked at Inside Edition:



I don't know what's funnier; an anchorman flipping out at a cue card guy or that the almighty Bill O-Reilly started on the sham of a news show, Inside Edition. I can never take him seriously again as a news anchor after knowing he was on Inside Edition (not that I ever took him seriously.

As always Stephen Colbert handled this situation perfectly:

Changes are Due

I told myself I was going to give fan-favorite Ned Yost a break for awhile. We all know my thoughts on him. I have definitely blogged enough about the guy. However I was looking at box scores today and noticed really how bad the Brewer's batting averages are horrible. Only Corey Hart and Tony Gwynn are batting above 300, that is horrible. Why is Weeks still leading off? Corey Hart did awesome there last year, and he is actually hitting the ball this year. Why hasn't Kappler gone back as the center fielder, outside of 3 home runs Cameron only has 6 other hits. (Yes I said six) That team needs a shake up. It starts with Yost getting a pink slip, but they also need to play their best players. Weeks is useless, Cameron is useless, Hardy is struggling, Fielder is struggling. I still think Fielder and Hardy have a place on the team, but they should be batting 6 and 7 respectively or 7, 8. Then again if Yost can't read it in managing for dummies, he won't do it.

Update: I just witnessed Hart hitting a double and and then Yost had him steal third, he was picked off, and then Hall hit a home run. Why steal third?

Update: The Brewer announcers use the stupid phrase "dialed in" way too much. Count how many times they say "Ryan Braun is really dialed in at the plate today." or "Be careful if Prince gets dialed in, this game could be tied quickly." Moments ago one announcer told they other that he (the announcer) was really "dialed in" because he was having so many great jokes. Lame.

I am officially putting that phrase On Notice.

Goodbye Old Friend

It finally happened....My I-Pod died. I know we had a close call not too long ago that took some miracle last minute open heart surgery to save it, but this time there was nothing happening. I was listening to her last night and I set her down for the night and then today when I got up she was dead.



At least she died peacefully in her sleep. Because I love freedom I decided to go out right away again today and stimulate the economy and buy a new one. So I am right now playing with my new one. Buying new toys sure is fun, and Bush would be happy that I am helping the economy.

That's it?

This past Thursday NBC ran what is called the Scrubs "Finale." This was planned on being the last year of Scrubs. It lasted 7 years despite mild ratings and constantly being switched on the schedule. Due to the writer's strike the season was limited to like 10-12 episodes. After the strike ended Scrubs was willing to come back and make 4-5 more and end the show appropriately, but NBC turned them down and said they would end it with what they had filmed already. Apparently they can't wait to put the premier of So You Think You Can Dance and Milf Island on the air.

The last episode was just a random episode with a random story, and actually was not even in order. It should have aired 3 weeks ago. Two weeks ago featured an episode in which Dr. Kelso retired from the hospital and reminisced and figured he would actually miss the place, he even told everyone, including his whipping boy lawyer this information. This would have been a much better end episode, not a perfect one yet though. Then 2 weeks ago was an okay episode with Dr. Cox as the stand-in Chief of Medicine. Then this week was a random episode and Dr. Kelso was once again the Chief of Medicine and had not retired yet. NBC must take us for idiots for putting these episodes in this order.

This is a sad ending for one of the last real sitcoms left on TV. (all that is left is the hilarious Office and the fading fast 30 Rock). Sitcoms are one step closer to death on TV. There is nothing left. Look at the current state of sindicated shows on weekend evenings and the only decent ones are Scrubs and Seinfeld. In a few years all we will have is shows like Cavemen and other stupid shows that make no sense and aren't funny.

PS: NBC is on notice and if it were not for The Office and Heroes, it would be dead to me.
TBS is off the hook for now.






PPS: I read a blog that said that ABC unofficially picked up Scrubs for 18 episodes so they can end it correctly. In a weird situation ABC actually owns Scrubs, it just ran on NBC. Bill Lawrence started Spin City and then Scrubs put then ABC passed on Scrubs and sold it to NBC but still owns its rights. Blah, Blah, blah, some lawyer crap.

Travelling....

Let me tell you that traveling by airplane sucks. This past week I traveled to San Diego for my day job. All my travel arrangements were arraigned and paid for by my employer, thus I had no control of it.

1. I traveled with Northworst (Technically NorthWest) and they might be the worst airline.
2. You have to pay for any soft drink, snack, or food on the flight. Every other airline gives this complimentary.
3. You don't even get a ticket, I basically got a tiny piece of paper with a bar code on it to scan at the terminal.
4. Taking off your shoes at security is still kind of lame.
5. I also was not allowed to bring my bottle of water past security. (Unless that Keanu Reeves masterpiece, Chain Reaction, is correct, I don't think water is very dangerous.)
6. A kid in front of me was watching a portable DVD player without headphones, the sound was just blasting throughout the airplane. His parents encouraged this and didn't give him headphones even after a few passengers said something.
7. A 3 1/2 layover in Minneapolis on the way back sucked.
8. A couple passengers brought on 3 HUGE pieces of luggage on the plane instead of checking them. This made no sense. They tell you that you can only bring 2 pieces on, and why not just che4ck the stuff, you don't need them on the plane. There is so much stuff that you can not bring on a plane nowadays that you pretty much have to a checked bag for things like your razor and toiletries. A guy on the way back had 3 bags that were bigger than my checked bag. He slowed down everyone by dragging them down the aisle and then finding a place for them in the overhead compartments, and forced others to not have space for their one bag.

Don't worry there will be more angry travel posts coming soon.

Before the anger...

Before my angry weekend blogs, and post-traveling blogs, here is a video that is actually pretty funny.



This is not the first video from him that is actually pretty funny. John Mayer's music sucks and is dried up, soft, noodle-rock. But I honestly think John Mayer knows that and only makes it because he can make lots of money and can score with many chicks. Hey, why not.

See ya!

Well bitches, Chopper here is going to San Diego for the rest of the week to go to a conference, if I happen to stop by my ex-wifes place, Oh-well. See you all in a week. I am sure there will be plenty there to get me angry and I will come back with a lot of material.

I need money...

Apparently they need to make a Fight Club 2 because Meatloaf must need more money. Here is a new At&T commercial I saw last night. It's sad to see a former rocker sell out and whore out his own song.

It happened again.

Big surprise; Gagne had yet another blown save for the Brewers today. He gave up 2 runs in the 9th to allow the game to become tied. At one point he even walked in a run. WTF? This guy now has more blown saves than he has actual saves. For some reason I am still watching the game, even though I know how it will end. During the 10th inning the Commentators had this line "Gagne had a rough 9th to lead us into the 10th." A rough 9th? This is usual for him. They should have said "Gagne had his usual 9th inning, and therefore once again Sheets did not get a victory he deserves, the Brewers will lose this game, the Brewers will regret ever signing Gagne, and they would be better off having the Bratwurst as the closer and the Chirizo as the manager."



I fear this is going to be a long and frustrating year. Something needs to be done soon.

NOT Too Sad for Cake

I went to a conference/celebration this morning for my job. (My day job not my night "job") The point of the conference was to present the individuals in attendance with information about scores and averages in their school buildings and see what kinds of growth have been made. YadaYadaYada. Everything like this we do on the weekends is paid, so I figured, 'Why Not?' Go down there on a Saturday morning listen to some guy and a get a nice meal, and get paid for it. Sign me up. After a brief introduction of the data, we moved on the the main reason we were there, the food. They served us a nice 5-Star, 3-course lunch meal. THe speaker had taken a little longer than they had planned and it was already 1 (when it was supposed to end) and desert had not been served yet. I was then told that they were extending the pay for another half hour until 1:30 so we could all get dessert. Wait, we're going to get paid to eat dessert?!? Wow, what a world. You have got to love being a part of a union where you can get away with this sort of thing.

Also, right before lunch they brought two students to do a skit that won them the state forensics tournament this year. These two kids did a pitch perfect, word-for-word rendition of Abbott and Costello's Who's on First. It was actually quite impressive.

Still Going

It is STILL the first round of the NBA playoffs. What a f**king joke.

No One Cares!

Who's to blame?

So apparently W Bush has the lowest appproval rating of any president ever. That's just too sad. His approval rating is lower than the two Presidents impeached, the one removed from office, lower than presidents during the depression, the 2 world wars, the Vietnam War, the Korean Conflict, slavery, and all these rough times in America's young history. I would say that the American public is to blame, but W did not even get the majority vote in either election, he just had the electoral votes. I blame the constitutional congress. (And the idiotic residents of Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004).