On Notice.. (Update)

I am creating this blog to draw attention to the newest member of my On Notice list....Mother Nature. On Saturday it was 45 degrees, a beautiful day for mid-December. At night it started to rain, but at least it wasn't cold. Then 6 hours later when I awoke on Sunday it was down to 15 degrees. It fell 30 degrees in 6-10 hours! Since it had been raining all night and now was freezing, there was a nice lick layer of ice everywhere on Sunday morning, including my car. All my doors were iced-frozen shut and I could not open any of them. I had to open my trunk and climb into my car, a task may extra difficult due to the "contents" of my trunk (wink wink). Mother Nature was also to blame for the horrific Packers' game and thus many northern-Wisconsin housewives feeling the wrath of their drunken-husbands. The Packers losing is one thing, but that was just a horrific game to watch. Shame on you Mother Nature, you are officially on notice.

(UPDATE)
It turns out that the ice actually broke my driver's side door handle. I can now unlock the door but when I lift the handle nothing happens, the ice broke it by dislodging it from something inside the door. So now I cannot enter my car from the driver's side, real classy. That's already 2 strike Mother Nature, one more and you are dead to me.

You've been knocked the F@*k Out!

Mother Nature has officially Knocked us the F*#K out. We got another 4-6 inches last night and today. It took me twice as long to get to work yet again. This is ridiculous. Mother Nature is officially going to be a permanent member of my Dead List. Outside of Mother Nature somehow reuniting me with my ex-wife, it will always be Dead to Me and will never be removed from the list. Good Bye.

Anger lowering.........

So what's the deal with Mother Nature now? It gave us a free day, weather-wise, on Christmas day. Actually, that day it didn't matter what the weather is, most people stay in their homes all with their "loved ones."

Now today it's 40 degrees, and we might get rain. This sounds great except, now that puts us in a flash flood warning. Super. With the water falling from the sky and the 13 inches of snow on the ground we could have flooding in houses and in the streets. Just when we think it couldn't get worse. I am actually glad it is warming up and the snow is melting, there is just no where to put it anymore, and you can't see anything when driving, and there is no where to park when you go somewhere.

I actually check the weather forecast and the next 7 days don't look "too bad." In the 20s, no snow (so far),with maybe a little snow next weekend. Let's hope that Mother Nature got all of her wrath out in December (which was the 2nd snowiest December ever in Wisconsin), and gives us a "break" in January.

Also, if I see one more sign making a pun out of winter or snow, I am going to snap. I just drove past a library (obviously didn't go in) and the sign said "Snow Better Time to Read." Oh, I get it, that's hilarious. There is so much snow outside, and in fact some people have died because of it, that you might as well stay inside and read. Hilarious..............Not.

Dead Horse

I know it sounds like I'm beating a dead horse but, Mother Nature is still toying with us. It was 45 degrees in Milwaukee yesterday. Then at about 5 PM it started having 30 MPH winds and by 9 o'clock it was 2 degrees, with a -15 wind chill. What gives? Woke up today and all my doors were frozen shut once again, took 10 minutes to start my car, and we didn't even cancel school. It is currently minus 4 with a wind chill of -35. I wouldn't have mu child wait in that for the bus just to be educated by someone like me. By noon its suppossed to be 9 degrees again, and tomorrow it is 25 degrees. What is this 24 hour freezing all about? I;m done with Mother Nature.

Even more Dead to Me

I may need to start another category that is even worse than "Dead to Me" soon. Mother Nature is still dumping on the state of Wisconsin. After record highs in snow fall for December, and record lows for temperature in early January, we are still getting it. Here's a list of what it has done this week.

• Cost the Packer's a good chance of winning
• Gave us 8-10 inches of snow of Monday (were expecting 4)
• Wind chills of -20 all day Wednesday
• Got another 1-2 inches last night
• Broke my shovel when I was digging "a hole" last night
• Took my car 15 minutes to start this morning

Today going to school I drove past a church that usually puts up witty banter about God, like "we are prayer-conditioned." (I'll wait a minute while you stop laughing. This morning they had "only 55 days of winter left." F*#K you! Winter is only 91 days long, we aren't even half way done with it. A lot can happen in 55 days. I could get married 4-5 times, or we could get another 3 feet of snow and have 20 days of below zero temperatures.

Mother Nature: Still Dead to Me.

Wet, wet, everywhere

I don't want to turn into a weather blog. But, with what Mother Nature has been giving us lately, I may not have a choice. It rained again over night. I read today in the paper that it has been the 2nd wettest June in the history of Wisconsin, and it is only June 10th. And this isn't the good kind of wet......




Dear Mother Nature, Enough already.

Welcome Summer, please have a seat

Whenever I question why Mother Nature is Dead to Me she comes in with a roar again. Once again here in Wisconsin we had no Spring. We went from Winter and having temperatures in the 40s to temps in the 80 in a week.

We have also been getting the wrath of Mother Nature in terms of storms. Its down poured the past 3 days and I just checked the 10-day forecast and there is 50% chance of thunderstorms EVERYDAY. WTF? We also had tornado warnings all day yesterday, and many parts of the city had the tornado horns go off, making people go to the basement of wherever they were (I was at work). Today, I'm sitting here trying to enjoy a baseball game on Fox and we have been interrupted by local weather 4 times, and currently some idiot meteorologist has been talking for 15 minutes and put up tornado warnings for all of the area until 8 PM, and its only 3 PM.

Spring Break Fun

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." THis seemed to be one of those things everyone heard from their mother a million times while growing up, but apparently these two knuckleheads never got that speech.

Someone should of told that guy the old saying, "Don't bring a snowball to a knife fight."

One could easily blame Mother Nature for this, yet I simply blame utter-stupidity. I mean, come on people.

Darwin was wrong.

Why Jeebus Why?

So the lovely state of Wisconsin received another nice little f**k-you from Mother Nature on Friday. She decided to drop upon us another 12-15 inches of snow in one day, and remember this was the second day of Spring. So by now everyone has a pretty good system on how to deal with the snow. I decided to go out to my parents house to hide away for the day. They have a drive way and a garage (and electricity), 3 things I do not have. If I stayed at my place I would not be able to park on the street, and I have no where else to park, so I usually leave when it snows more than like 4-5 inches.

No bug deal, I just lie around watching movies all day. I go out and plow their drive three times, and each time there is a good 4-5 inches of really heavy snow. The last time I do this is at 10:15. I then decide to go out and get some food and just go out and stretch my legs. It had pretty much stopped snowing, but the roads were still pretty bad because the plows had not gone through yet. I came back around at around 12:30-1:00 to came back to this:

What are we supposed to do with this? Thanks a lot plow guy, how is anyone supposed to get through this. The real problem became that when it was actually snowing it wasn't all that cold, but now it was about 20 degrees, so this was all basically ice. After about an hour of working on it I got it down to this:

At that point at least I could get my car into the driveway and could work on the rest in the morning. I also lookeda cross the street and everyone's driveway was plowed in just as bad or worse. My parent's neighbors across the street are retired couple that hve no chacne of removing that snow, I hope they have no where to go for the next week.

What really gets me anger-ranting is that by the snow plow guy doing this he is indirectly putting tax=payers at risk. Lets say something happened in the middle of the night and someone needed to drive somewhere, they would need a good hour head start to remove the snow. Or let's say someone had a heart attack and called an ambulance, the paramedics would have a hard time getting the stretcher and other equipment into the house. Come on people. I know driving a snow plow at 11-12 at night is not the most luxurious job, but by you saving yourself a few minutes, you are having many a people waste hours trying to get out of their driveway and are inadvertently putting lives at risk. You are on notice.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Due to the wrath of Mother Nature I did not have to work today. It is cold out, the TV is telling me that the temperature outside is -9 degrees and the windchill is -33 degrees. WTF? I didn't even know those types of temperatures existed below Canada. It also seems as if there is no end in sight. Over night temperatures are expected to reach -15 degrees with windchills below -40 degrees. Around tomorrow at noon, we are suppossed to snap out of it and reach 10 degrees and only -5 degree windchills.

Just as a side note with work being canceled today, we do have to make up the day at the end of the year in June, so I am not totally getting out of working.

Random Rantings

Another Sunday down, another round of rants.........

• The Packers suck, and they shouldn't have to. Horrible play calling, an emo-hipster QB, and no leadership are to blame. Every time they threw the ball deep, the Packers WRs beat the cornerbacks, it wsn't always a good throw, but they were open. Yet the Packers only threw the ball deep 5 times. They still try that running s**t way too oftern. They should dink and dunk and do screen plays way more often. Also, their rushing defense is awful. See you next season.
• Pittsburgh defense is the best I have seen in years. It is a wonder that anyone has scored on them this season. If their offense comes around, look out. Also, I am not sure why their offense is so bland. They have a great QB, 2-3 good WRs, and 2 good running backs, yet struggle to score any points. Something is a miss. (Update: Dallas just got a TD)
  
• During the whole pre-game they kept saying that this was Detroit's best chance of a win (they lost). I am not sure why this week was their best chance. They were playing the division leading Vikings, who have a great rush offense and the Lions have the worst rush defense. If anything the Lions best chance is at Green Bay in the last week because the Packers suck and have nothing to play for.
  
• I went to Sam's Club, and that's enough to get someone angry. Why do they have that person at the door who checks your receipt and sees what you bought? If you went through the line, you purchased everything, what is this person checking for? When I went today, I waited longer at the door to get my receipt checked, than I did in the actual line. The person in front of me had a full cart, and the lady checked every item in the cart to the receipt.
• The TV is telling me we could get 6-12 inches of snow throughout the day on Tuesday. You've been warned Mother Nature.
  

Seriously people......

So for one last time I am going to warn Mother Nature. Last night we got 3-4 inches. I am not going to be one of those a-holes that says "Oh, we only got 304 inches of snow." No, that is still enough.

So far this year to date we have gotten more than last year at this point. And the end of December and all of January was the worst winter I have ever experienced in my life. This trend had better stop soon.

The worst part is that on Thursday night we could get anywhere from 1 inch to 12 inches. "They" are not sure if winds are going to blow a certain way or not and how that will affect everything. With technology the way it is, I find it hard to believe that they don't know within 11 inches, how much we are going to get. I am pleading for very little. I have a wedding to attend on Friday (always the bridesmaid, never the bride) and I have to travel all over the city on Thursday night and Friday during the day.

I was disgusted at today paper that had this headline.

It appears Tuesday's snow was an appetizer for a several-course snowflake meal that forecasters predict will be served through Christmas.

Oh, I get it, they are making a joke out of getting a@@-loads of snow. Ha,ha, I get. The snow makes life miserable for everyone, and actually kills some people in car accidents, some people lose heat, etc. Hilarious joke Journal Sentinel.

So far, so.............okay

So far this winter (oh wait, it's still technically Fall), Mother Nature hasn't been too bad on us. Yes, it has snowed twice in 3 days, but both times it wasn't as bad as predicted. On Sunday night and Monday morning we were originally predicted to get 8-10 inches, and ended up without about 2 (kind of like EdGrimley's wedding night). Then today we were supposed to get up to 4, and so far have only gotten about 2 inches (knock on wood).

I guess it has something to do with lake effect, Canadaien air, gulf streams, yada yada yada. I don't get science, what has it ever done for me.

P.S. My arm has been really hurting me this week, I am going to the hospital, I really hope medical science can help me.

Me Coach Again Sometime

SInce I am considered a "non-essential" employee and do not have to go into work because of the weather, I figured I'd get some blogging done. I just read that Jim Mora is set to replace Holmgren in Seattle.



Oh, its Jim Mora JR? Well he just plain sucks. The Falcons under-achieved every year he was there. In December 2006 he famously said on a Seattle sports radio station that if he were offered the University of Washington job, he would take it. However, the job was not open, he was still the Falcons coach, and the job was never offered him. He was fired 4 weeks later.

PS: Mother Nature still is, always will be, Dead to Me, even though she got me a day off work.

Still Dead to Me.....

Mother Nature has been Dead to Me for about 10 months now. The many reasons why are here. Then today I come out of work at 4 PM and it is doing some kind of precipitation, not quite snow, not quite rain. I didn't know what it was. I do know that it sucked. Just 2 days ago it was 75 degrees and sunny, now today it was 34-40 degrees and totally cloudy. Now on Saturday the weather is forecasting to snow. I swear if we have a winter even half as bad as last year...........

Noah's Ark

Well Mother Nature hit us hard last night. There is water everywhere. Many streets are closed, the river is overflowing and the best part is that we are suppossed to get another 3 inches of rain today. The sewers are already overflowing, there is no place to put the rain.

Yes rain did that.

Now I know that many areas of the country would kill for rain because they go through month long droughts in which they can only use water at certain times of the day (California). But, this is ridiculous. With rain coming every day this week, things are going to get very interesting quickly around here.

Updates

I figured today was a good day to update my dead to me and on notice lists:

Ted Thompson: Moved from dead to on notice because he turned out a good season for the Packers. He still needs to learn how to draft players and sign free agents.

Mother Nature: Moved from on notice to dead to me because it is supposed to be ass to the metal cold this weekend. We're talking 4 degree at high, -20 to -30 wind chills.

Cement Bags: Moved off my on notice list because I have been making "shoes" out of this and it has been helping me "clean up by problems."

Haters: Moved to my on notice list because I am tired of all them haters out there.

Watch the roads people

So I was driving home today and I drove past 7 accidents, 7! Keep in mind it was barely snowing, I would not even call it flurries. But since it was the first time this year we had any snow, people panicked. I even witnessed a lady break at a stop sign, lose control, or go up on the curb nearly hitting the stop sign.

People, drive a little slower, stop talking on the phone, and just get home and lock your doors. It's only snow. If this is any sign of things to come, it will probably be an even more frustrating winter than last year. Oh joy! Mother Nature, you are already on notice!

Its Raining Men, I mean Mudd

Mother Nature is doing some odd things lately. Yesterday I think it rained mud for a while during the day. On Thursday night it downpoured all night and when I got inot my car Friday morning it was clean from the rain. I drove to work, yada, yada,yada. When I left work at 4PM my car was covered in what looked like muddy rain drops. Similar to this picture.
Muddy Rain Drops would make for a great name for an emo band, but when falling from the sky its not as cool. I'm not even too sure how the science behind this would work.

Recently the U.S. armed forces has been getting a lot of heat about the torturing and interogation of suspected terrorists. A group of soldiers claim that they had no training in torturing techniques and we put in situations where they were expected to properly "interrogate" suspects. They went on to say that the majority of the techniques they were using they learned from television and movies. They specifically mentioned the show 24 and said they were using techniques they saw on the show. This has raised a good deal attention towards how television influences us. Keifer Sutherland from 24 has offered to go over seas and speak to our armed forces about the fictionalized nature of his show and they should not take it as being real. 24's executive producer has gone on to say he makes no apologies for the show and its ludacris to think tv can influence us so greatly. Critics and pundits say that obviously tv influences us, others companies wouldn't but commercials to influence those watching to but their product. They argue that tv can't have it both ways; have their commercials influence viewers but not have the shows influence people. I think its ridiculous to think that mankind can't tell the difference between reality and fiction and between commercials and the tv show. If television would influence us 100% here is a list of shows and how they would influence us. (Note; I don't actually watch most of these shows but am guessing on how they would influence me.

Desperate Housewives- suburban housewives are whores and their husbands are oblivious

Heroes- some people can fly, read minds, predict the future, bend metal, travel through time, not bleed, walk through walls etc.

Prison Break- it only takes 22 45 minute episodes to escape from prison with 6 of your friends

House- Its cool to pop vicodin like they're vitamins and still be the best doctor ever.

The Unit- there is a secret branch of the Army that has a mission of assasinating terrorists and world leaders all over the world

The class- everyone still hangs out with kids from high school 15 years later, and now everyone gets along

CSI- every crime is solvable

Gilmore Girls- its cool to be a single mother who has men who are out of your league interested in you romantically and have a teenage daughter more promiscuous than you

Boston Legal- lawyers aren't assholes

Medium- its possible to talk to the dead to help solve who murdered them

Jericho- after a nuclear holocaust one city would somehow survive it

Lost- its possible to survive a plane crash

Scrubs- doctors are funny

Grey's Anatomy- all doctors are overly good-looking and are all sleeping with each other

Smallville- Superman really exists

Cold Case- its easier to solve a case 10 years after the crime

Survivor- people will do anything for money

The Office- working in an office and in a cubicle doesn't suck, in fact its hilarious

Everybody hates Chris- black people are different from white people